My boyfriend is not answering his phone and I'm getting really worried.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#1
We had the biggest argument ever yesterday because he did something that he shouldn't have but he had the right intentions. I was upset, regardless. It was really out of order but I won't go into all of that. The fight really escalated to the point where I said I wanted to break up. He started crying and so did I. During our conversation, his family came about who don't know about me. He had to cut the call and our conversation got left hanging. I don't even know if we have broken up or not. I don't consider it that way.

I've calmed down today and I want to talk to him today. I've called him so many times but he hasn't picked up. It just rings and rings till voicemail comes up. There's so many things going through my head right now that I don't know what to think. He's not the type to just ignore calls like this so I'm making myself sick with worry as to what else it could be. If he was caught crying, he'd have a lot of explanation to do with regards to his family (he never cries usually) so I'm thinking maybe it's something to do with that. Other than that, a bi-product of what the actual argument was about means I'm actually scared for his safety and scared that he might get involved in a physical fight. And though, chances are not that high, I can't help but be worried since I can't get through to him. I keep imagining that he was attacked or something and I'm here just not knowing about it. And lastly, he has blood pressure issues and even when crying on the phone, I could hear he was in pain so I'm really worried whether the situation escalated during the night.

He usually gets to work at half ten and wakes up around 7 or 8. I've been calling continuously since 7 and there has been no answer. Up to nine, I kept kidding myself that he might have overslept but he'd definitely be awake by now as he should be at work.

Not knowing is driving me crazy. I have an exam tomorrow and I have to revise except I really can't focus. I just want to know he's okay and then I'm positive we can sort things out. I just feel so helpless. I've contacted his cousin to let me know if he finds out anything about what is going on. The only other person I can think of contacting is a close friend of his that I don't really know but that might be too much, just yet.

I don't think he is ignoring me. He wouldn't do that and even text me last night to say that we would talk about this tomorrow. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I can do. But I don't want to just sit around and wait.
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Ice_Queen
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#2
Report 11 years ago
#2
Give him 24 hours.

Then either go find him or go to his parents.
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-emilybrown
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#3
Report 11 years ago
#3
Maybe he left his phone?
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bestofyou
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#4
Report 11 years ago
#4
calling continuously since 7?

wow he'll think your weird when he checks his phone...
3
mikeyd85
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#5
Report 11 years ago
#5
Perhaps he's

A) Still pissed and would rather get through work without having an argument beforehand
B) Preferring to talk face to face about this
C) Waiting until he is ready to speak to you again.
1
Sabsbabs1
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#6
Report 11 years ago
#6
You say that you have calmed down today and want to talk to him today, but maybe he hasnt calmed down and needs time to think. You also say that his family dont know about you, is there a reason for this?
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username677182
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#7
Report 11 years ago
#7
Could it be that he's busy at work? Or his battery has died? Or he hasn't heard his phone? Or he'd rather talk when he can speak to you properly, on his lunch break or when he gets home?
0
beccibell
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#8
Report 11 years ago
#8
I know that it is really hard to just sit and wait but I have had this trouble before when I just haven't been able to contact my boyfriend and I have generally been ridiculously worried and when he has rang back he has not thought about it one bit and has just been oblivious. I think that because he sent you a text saying that he would talk to you about it the next day then try and trust that he will ring you at some point. Guys don't tend to realise that when an issue is left hanging girls really need to sort it out as soon as possible because they can't concentrate until it has been resolved. Perhaps in the morning he got up late or was generally busy and needed to get to work. Or perhaps he just needs a little bit of time to think about what he wants to say so an argument doesn't escalate again. I would try and do your revision and try and take your mind off it for a while. If he was really upset then I think that shows you that he really loves you!! I know it is easier said than done but try and sit it out and concentrate on your work. I hope that everything turns out ok!!!!
1
LemonLips
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#9
Report 11 years ago
#9
You = dumped. Move on.
2
RedDevilThing
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#10
Report 11 years ago
#10
How long have you been together and how often do you argue usually? And what did he do that's so bad?

Maybe he feels really guilty about the whole thing and he doesn't want to talk to you because of that. And I agree with other posters, calling him constantly is a bit excessive, just wait unitl you next know he'll be free and try calling him, don't do it more than every couple of hours.
1
*Lollo*
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#11
Report 11 years ago
#11
I don't think it's likely that something happened to him. You had a fight which made him upset. When someone doesn't answer their phone after that, it is not because something mysteriously happened, that is too much of a coincidence. And even though girlfriends has a tendency to believe they are the only ones in their partners life, he does have friends and perhaps colleagues, so if something did happen, there are other people to notice it.
Don't call again, you'll come off as a psycho. Even if you said you "were worried about his safety", he'll realize what this is actually regarding - you feel bad about yesterday and you're afraid to lose him. You were the one mentioning breaking up - now I'm afraid you just have toput up with waiting.
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Sovay
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#12
Report 11 years ago
#12
(Original post by RedDevilThing)
How long have you been together and how often do you argue usually? And what did he do that's so bad?

Maybe he feels really guilty about the whole thing and he doesn't want to talk to you because of that. And I agree with other posters, calling him constantly is a bit excessive, just wait unitl you next know he'll be free and try calling him, don't do it more than every couple of hours.
I agree with this poster, just wait a few days until the dust has settled at the very least!

He needs to work out were he is with all this, you need to find out where you stand aswell.... leave it few days aswell, ringing 70 times day isn't going to make this any better!
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Anonymous #1
#13
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#13
Just an update: I got worried about him not picking up the phone since he always does and I know his routine so know when he would wake up. I called in accordance with that. If he was annoyed, he would cut the call and not let it reach voicemail. That's a moot point since it's not like him to completely ignore a call. He usually picks up and says 'I don't want to talk right now'. So naturally after it got to about 9, and I had called quite a few times, I began to think something was up.

Looking back I probably overreacted but at the time, I was clueless and the worst was going through my head. In essence, we fought over him reacting to something someone stirred up and the person he reacted should be avoided at all costs. They're just not to be trusted at all in the sense that they could have rounded up people, had a fight with my bf and I wouldn't even know. I just kept imagining the worse even though I knew it'd be pretty unlikely for something of this scale to happen so soon.

Turns out, he didn't go in to work today because he fell ill because of yesterday but also that his phone was on silent and somehow reached the bottom of his bed. So he spent the whole morning trying to locate it and rang me as soon as he saw my God-knows-how-many-calls.

I'm sorry if I've come across like I've made a big deal out of nothing but at the time, I wasn't thinking straight and just needed to let it out and gain some perspective.
2
Cheesecakefactory
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#14
Report 11 years ago
#14
He's probably banging someone else by now.
4
gobananas
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#15
Report 11 years ago
#15
Aww glad he found his phone and he is OK.. hope you guys sort it all out and good luck with your exam tomorrow!
1
Anonymous #1
#16
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#16
(Original post by Sabsbabs1)
You say that you have calmed down today and want to talk to him today, but maybe he hasnt calmed down and needs time to think. You also say that his family dont know about you, is there a reason for this?
I've asked him not to say anything. I sort of think people should be together for significant time before telling families and this is just my personal opinion. Telling each others families would mean heading towards marriage (to us). I'm certainly not ready for that and I'm just not ready to invite anyone into our relationship. It's so much less complicated without people interfering (not necessarily, in a bad way) but I just want us to have ample space as couple before we are ready to take it up a notch.
0
Anonymous #1
#17
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#17
(Original post by Cheesecakefactory)
He's probably banging someone else by now.
Thanks for that :rolleyes:
0
Anonymous #1
#18
Report Thread starter 11 years ago
#18
(Original post by bestofyou)
calling continuously since 7?

wow he'll think your weird when he checks his phone...
I'm comfortable enough with him to be a bit psycho :p:

Plus after the break up mention yesterday (which I completely regret), he's just happy to know I care.
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Reckless77
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#19
Report 11 years ago
#19
(Original post by LemonLips)
Definately and good on him. The OP sounds like a moany old hag.
And you're just a moron.
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Cold
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#20
Report 11 years ago
#20
(Original post by Anonymous)
We had the biggest argument ever yesterday because he did something that he shouldn't have but he had the right intentions. I was upset, regardless. It was really out of order but I won't go into all of that. The fight really escalated to the point where I said I wanted to break up. He started crying and so did I. During our conversation, his family came about who don't know about me. He had to cut the call and our conversation got left hanging. I don't even know if we have broken up or not. I don't consider it that way.

I've calmed down today and I want to talk to him today. I've called him so many times but he hasn't picked up. It just rings and rings till voicemail comes up. There's so many things going through my head right now that I don't know what to think. He's not the type to just ignore calls like this so I'm making myself sick with worry as to what else it could be. If he was caught crying, he'd have a lot of explanation to do with regards to his family (he never cries usually) so I'm thinking maybe it's something to do with that. Other than that, a bi-product of what the actual argument was about means I'm actually scared for his safety and scared that he might get involved in a physical fight. And though, chances are not that high, I can't help but be worried since I can't get through to him. I keep imagining that he was attacked or something and I'm here just not knowing about it. And lastly, he has blood pressure issues and even when crying on the phone, I could hear he was in pain so I'm really worried whether the situation escalated during the night.

He usually gets to work at half ten and wakes up around 7 or 8. I've been calling continuously since 7 and there has been no answer. Up to nine, I kept kidding myself that he might have overslept but he'd definitely be awake by now as he should be at work.

Not knowing is driving me crazy. I have an exam tomorrow and I have to revise except I really can't focus. I just want to know he's okay and then I'm positive we can sort things out. I just feel so helpless. I've contacted his cousin to let me know if he finds out anything about what is going on. The only other person I can think of contacting is a close friend of his that I don't really know but that might be too much, just yet.

I don't think he is ignoring me. He wouldn't do that and even text me last night to say that we would talk about this tomorrow. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I can do. But I don't want to just sit around and wait.
be patient.... he probably doesn't want to speak to you
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