Stupid thoughts and niggles

I feel very odd and confused today. I started a new job a month ago and my boss is quite good looking. I've been with my bf for 2 years and until recently any doubts I ever had were about his feelings, if he would cheat, if he loved me etc 'cos I'm pretty insecure in that way. But last night at work my eye was wandering far too much for my liking. Then I started getting scared that one day I might not love my bf anymore. I know it all sounds really stupid but I don't know...I just feel strange. Like I'm wondering 'what if there is someone else out there who is better?' But my bf is good looking, lovely, I've always liked him so much, we are so close...I don't want anyone else but now I've thought that stuff I can't stop worrying. I don't ever want to stop loving him, but I know couples who drifted apart and I am scared that that is going to be me! Which is weird because I always felt like I was the one who was really in it for the long run, really loved him so much. And I do, I think...?

Sorry this is long and confusing but I am feeling confused Thanks for reading if you still are!

Anyway, I briefly chatted to my flatmate. She thinks it's cos we spend so so little time together. We've gone from entire weekends and datey things during the week when I was at sixth form and in holidays to 2 hours before bed on 1 weekend night then 2 hours when we wake up before I go to work again. He works full time, I'm at uni with a bar job. What does everyone think? Am I being ridiculous? Will my worries disappear when I meet him on Wed? Agh!

I feel very odd and confused today. I started a new job a month ago and my boss is quite good looking. I've been with my bf for 2 years and until recently any doubts I ever had were about his feelings, if he would cheat, if he loved me etc 'cos I'm pretty insecure in that way. But last night at work my eye was wandering far too much for my liking. Then I started getting scared that one day I might not love my bf anymore. I know it all sounds really stupid but I don't know...I just feel strange. Like I'm wondering 'what if there is someone else out there who is better?' But my bf is good looking, lovely, I've always liked him so much, we are so close...I don't want anyone else but now I've thought that stuff I can't stop worrying. I don't ever want to stop loving him, but I know couples who drifted apart and I am scared that that is going to be me! Which is weird because I always felt like I was the one who was really in it for the long run, really loved him so much. And I do, I think...?

Sorry this is long and confusing but I am feeling confused Thanks for reading if you still are!

Anyway, I briefly chatted to my flatmate. She thinks it's cos we spend so so little time together. We've gone from entire weekends and datey things during the week when I was at sixth form and in holidays to 2 hours before bed on 1 weekend night then 2 hours when we wake up before I go to work again. He works full time, I'm at uni with a bar job. What does everyone think? Am I being ridiculous? Will my worries disappear when I meet him on Wed? Agh!

I feel very odd and confused today. I started a new job a month ago and my boss is quite good looking. I've been with my bf for 2 years and until recently any doubts I ever had were about his feelings, if he would cheat, if he loved me etc 'cos I'm pretty insecure in that way. But last night at work my eye was wandering far too much for my liking. Then I started getting scared that one day I might not love my bf anymore. I know it all sounds really stupid but I don't know...I just feel strange. Like I'm wondering 'what if there is someone else out there who is better?' But my bf is good looking, lovely, I've always liked him so much, we are so close...I don't want anyone else but now I've thought that stuff I can't stop worrying. I don't ever want to stop loving him, but I know couples who drifted apart and I am scared that that is going to be me! Which is weird because I always felt like I was the one who was really in it for the long run, really loved him so much. And I do, I think...?

Sorry this is long and confusing but I am feeling confused Thanks for reading if you still are!

Anyway, I briefly chatted to my flatmate. She thinks it's cos we spend so so little time together. We've gone from entire weekends and datey things during the week when I was at sixth form and in holidays to 2 hours before bed on 1 weekend night then 2 hours when we wake up before I go to work again. He works full time, I'm at uni with a bar job. What does everyone think? Am I being ridiculous? Will my worries disappear when I meet him on Wed? Agh!

I am in exactly the same position as you! I thought I was the only one, I'm so glad you posted that

Although my boyfriend and I go to universities that are quite close, he has tonnes of lectures and travel is quite expensive, so we get to see each other once a week maximum. At the moment, I've not seen him for a week, and I won't see him for another week. That's not too bad compared to last year when he was at uni and I wasn't, because then he was even further away and we'd see each other about once a month.

The difficulty is, since coming to uni I feel like I have two lives; one life with my uni friends, and another with my boyfriend. Since I don't see him that often, I've kind of built up a resistance to missing him when we're not together otherwise I'd go crazy! However, that does mean that when I'm at uni I sometimes start to think what it would be like to be someone else's girlfriend. It wouldn't be such a problem if it was just a general "I wonder what it would be like to go out with someone else", but at the moment its more of a "I wonder what it would be like to go out with -insert name here-" (if that makes any sense at all). And the person I wonder about the most has made it very clear that he 'likes' me.

So now I'm caught in an ugly mess of trying to decide what and who I want. I think, and hope, that my boyfriend and I are just stuck in a temporary rut brought about by not seeing each other very often and taking each other for granted. We've been together for 4 years so I suppose its natural for the spark to lessen a little bit. My plan is to give it all I've got over the Christmas break - I'm planning to take him on a little tour of all the places important to us around our home town, like the place we first kissed, where he asked me out, the little heart we carved into the wall with our names in etc etc. Hopefully that'll make us both realise how much we want to be together. And if we realise we don't, I suppose its time for us to go our separate ways.

Sorry for the really long post, good luck with everything

wow you just described everything i feel atm!