Career or baby?

What does everyone think is the best age to have a baby? My husband really wants us to start a family (and I'd like to have kids, but I don't feel ready yet) but there's still loads of stuff I want to do with my career. I'm worried that if I pursue my career dreams, I'll end up sacrificing the chance to have a baby. :confused:

What do you people think? Is a career more important? Or having a family (after all, that's what you leave behind when you die, and a job is just a job)?
Bearing in mind, I'm not going to make big life decisions purely based on what people chatting on a forum tell me! I just want some general comments and to find out what other people think...

Reply 1

sr4470

15

If you're good enough, you'll be able to handle both simultaneously. I really find it irritating when people put off having children for the sake of their career...but then again, it depends on whats more important to them. I see a job as an income, and I wouldnt put it so far above having children (although obviously you need the former to support the latter).

Just my 2p on the subject.

Reply 2

Evenstar

OP

13

sr4470

If you're good enough, you'll be able to handle both simultaneously. I really find it irritating when people put off having children for the sake of their career...but then again, it depends on whats more important to them. I see a job as an income, and I wouldnt put it so far above having children (although obviously you need the former to support the latter).

Just my 2p on the subject.

The problem is that my intended career would necessitate my going back to uni. I'd be, like, 36 when I graduated. Obviously, I couldn't have a baby whilst at uni, so I'd have to wait. But then what if we have problems and I've left it too late to sort stuff out? Arrrggh! Maybe I should pop a sprog now, and put it in the uni creche facility?! :p:

Reply 3

ice_cube

17

A lot of people say once you have children, you don't mind leaving your career. You can always go back after, maybe not to some high flying job, but is that necessarily always the most enjoyable? I'm pretty certain you could mix both.

Reply 4

cheesecakebobby

9

Don't feel you have to have kids if you are more interested in a career. I think you probably already know the answer to your problem anyway, or you wouldn't look for advice from a bunch of ignorant 19 year olds such as myself.

Reply 5

Manatee

14

There is no universal answer here. Some people consider children to be more important than a career, others prefer their work. Some people may attach importance to something else entirely.

I suppose my point is that you're the one who has to decide what is important for you - whatever you're happy with will be the right choice. If you don't feel ready to have a child, I think it would be sensible to wait. You're only 26, which strikes me as rather young to start worrying about leaving it too late.

Reply 6

Apricot Fairy

16

If you were doing something which didn't involve going back to uni, I'd suggest waiting until you are about 31/32 and then having a baby. If you wouldn't graduate until 36, then maybe you should think about having a baby now, although it might affect your studies and you might miss parts of seeing your baby grow and develop. It's a tricky one. Talk to your husband and the rest of your family. Work out your exact financial situation. Try to imagine what your life would be like either way and see which would be preferable. You'll probably find it much easier to conceive now than in 10 years' time, but then you might lose your youth a bit if you have a baby now.

Reply 7

Purple

18

I personally would have a baby.

Reply 8

viviki

14

really depends on what course you are going to do. I have two friends who have 1ish yr olds and one that has a 3 yr old that are at uni and they are still having massive problems balancing uni life with family and kids. So I reckon if you had a kid now you'd be putting off uni for a few years unless you have super time management skills or are a super genius so it boils down to what do you want most.
I wouldn't have kids if I was you unless you really want them now. But I do see your point about having kids when you are older. There really is no ideal solution and I think you both need to discuss it very carefully.

Reply 9

xx hannah xx

3

i'm going to have this dilemma in a few years when i graduate i think..providing i'm still with my boyfriend then!
i won't graduate until i'm 23, and because of the 'career ladder' in medicine, it's going to be very difficult to start a family under the age of 30..which is what i always wanted to do :s-smilie:

. i also don't want to be a mum that puts her children in nurseries, i want to stay home with them!
hmmm...oh well, guess we'll just have to wait and see-its ages away yet :smile:

Reply 10

Helenia

20

xx hannah

i'm going to have this dilemma in a few years when i graduate i think..providing i'm still with my boyfriend then!
i won't graduate until i'm 23, and because of the 'career ladder' in medicine, it's going to be very difficult to start a family under the age of 30..which is what i always wanted to do :s-smilie:

. i also don't want to be a mum that puts her children in nurseries, i want to stay home with them!
hmmm...oh well, guess we'll just have to wait and see-its ages away yet :smile:

I think all female medics have that problem - possibly part of the reason we have the highest divorce rate of any profession :eek:

Personally, my career comes first at least until graduation (when I will be 25!) and after that, it depends on meeting the right man and so on...

Reply 11

hugatree

11

Baby.

Having a job is good, a career unnecessary.

Reply 12

34253

2

If you have enough money and support to offer a child and want 1 go for it. After all lets think about grand kids, you dont want to be on deaths door when they arrive really do you?

Reply 13

glisten

1

Evenstar

What does everyone think is the best age to have a baby? My husband really wants us to start a family (and I'd like to have kids, but I don't feel ready yet) but there's still loads of stuff I want to do with my career. I'm worried that if I pursue my career dreams, I'll end up sacrificing the chance to have a baby. :confused:

What do you people think? Is a career more important? Or having a family (after all, that's what you leave behind when you die, and a job is just a job)?
Bearing in mind, I'm not going to make big life decisions purely based on what people chatting on a forum tell me! I just want some general comments and to find out what other people think...

I (T/\/\G) think in the 20s is ideal but Jade says in 30s - after career is made.

Reply 14

Little Girl Red

1

I reckon have the baby - at the end of the day, the baby will make you far happier and fulfilled that the career would do, and also in my opinion is far more important.
But I also think that you should reallly be sure - don't just do it because your husband wants you to. Do it because you want a child as well.

Reply 15

viviki

14

Not everyone finds that children fulfill them more than a career though I know alot of people that certainly wouldn't swap their kids now they've had them but they need to have a job and life outside too. i think with kids they need to be really wanted just having them because you want them at some point isn't that good an idea. Also you want to be able to provide for them properly kids are very expensive.

Reply 16

Angel Interceptor

11

28-33 would be when i would like to have kids (well, not me personally, but if i find the right girl and we get married, etc...).

Reply 17

jessiek

1

Personally I'd like to have kids at 30-31ish..I would like a career...make sure I can give them the lifestyle that I'd want them to have. At this day and age I think a lot more ppl are getting married and having kids later. Say you graduate at 36..and have a kid..when they go to uni you'd only be around 54? That's not exactly really old to me...

Reply 18

Angel Interceptor

11

graduate at 36? you'd have to fail a lot to do that! :wink:

Reply 19

34253

2

jessiek

Personally I'd like to have kids at 30-31ish..I would like a career...make sure I can give them the lifestyle that I'd want them to have. At this day and age I think a lot more ppl are getting married and having kids later. Say you graduate at 36..and have a kid..when they go to uni you'd only be around 54? That's not exactly really old to me...

You could easily be looking at being a 70 year old grandparent which would really suck, and what if you happened to want more than 1 child so that it wasnt an only child or something that would stretch it out a bit aswell...

Career or baby?

Related discussions

Articles for you