Ladies, gentlemen, fellow Liverpool supporters…. Let me deliver the next of my incessant ranting speeches don’t worry, it’s a short one this time
I am sure, and I am sure that all of you, are sick to death, frantically butthurt over our local crosstown rivals, The mancs, who currently reside in Castle greyskull, theatre of screams, etc etc… Since that final day of the 1990 season, Liverpool fans celebrated an record 18th league title, under the king Kenny of anfield. Little did we know that it will be the last time we will be lifting the league for a very long time, and. The man who put us out of the light of English football, the man who has “knocked us off our ******* perch” as he so put it, sits there in castle greyskull, a bottle of whisky in one hand, and a plate of biscuits lovingly served up to him by his best friend, Howard webb, Laughing at us. Yes, that’s right, old whiskey-nose, baconface, Sir Barclay of the premier league has singlehandedly displaced Liverpool from top of the pile after bribing and cheating his way to Winning league title 19. 18 - 7, i hear you say, How did we let an 18 - 7 lead slip?
Liverpool, due to Manchester have now become the laughing stock of the premier league, we have gone from back to back European cups and leagues to relegation strugglers and the likes of steau bucharesti, fk rabotnichki and rot weib oberhausen to look forward to in the europa league. Whilst having to watch Manchester united trying to get up to 5 champions leagues. However friends, all is not lost. If we still had Hodgson in charge we may right now be preparing to host the likes of Scunthorpe, Leeds, Hull and Sheffield, and in no position to reclaim what is rightfully ours.
How dare ferguson win 19 league titles, How dare he win trophies, does he not know who we are? Does he not know what he is doing to the people of Liverpool?
Now, I know what you will say, “we still have our 5 european cups” but how long before Sir alex is able to win two more champions leagues of his own? To be honest they look more likely to win it than us. For 20 years we have had to endure the mancs bribe and corrupt their way to win league after league after league, while we, have sat there shrugging it off, falsely reassuring ourselves “hell never catch us, we have 18 and he doesn’t!” Well gone are those days. Now we are the chasers. And now we have good old king Kenny to lead us homewards…. An alternative of course, and we can always do this, is to bribe good old sir alex into not winning anymore European cups, thereby cementing our position forever as the most successful European team in england., Heck, even if they take our 5 champions leagues we still have our 4 europa leagues, which we know they’ll never take from us…
What are we going to do about united, or more specifically Slurgie fergie. Well, seeing as he is the omnipotent overlord of the FA, and premier league it doesn’t look like there is much we can do. But friends. We must win the title. As good Liverpool, who represent the true virtues of football we must win the league, we can’t let fergie win! A man who has the media wrapped around his hand, who intimidates and bullies. The likes of the sun, and other media outlets now have a permanent love-in with united, and belittle us at every opportunity our achievements and successes. What must we do? Well, one alternative is to play the waiting game.. just simply sit on our asses for the next ten years, and wait for Ferguson to either kick the bucket or retire, (the latter looking very unlikely) But all is not lost. We have king Kenny, A man who wins league titles for fun. I bet he has old bacon faces ass twitching like an altar boy in a church. Right now, as I write he is planning a special plan to boot fergie off his perch
Onwards redmen, Let King kennys will be done