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The thread on Trust made me wonder...

If you sneakily read your partner's texts and did discover they were cheating on you, would you confront them about it? How?

(This is a hypothetical question, but when I've been in relationships before I've sometimes idly read their texts and always wondered what I'd actually do if I found the worst).

Reply 1

username9303

3

Damn right I'd confront her about it lol

Reply 2

olliemccowan

Damn right I'd confront her about it lol

Yeah but how? Surely 'I read your texts' is going to put them on the defensive...

Reply 3

Saffie

11

happened to a friend of mine, but she loves him so much she doesn't care :confused:

or refuses to see it from the worst angle.

personally, I *hate* the way people read others text messages, when I write a text to someone, I don't expect anyone other than the recipient to see it, and when others do read them, it's inevitably out of context. It would have to be pretty explicit for you to be sure someone was cheating from a text/texts.

Reply 4

naelse

15

I've done it before. And to be honest, them going on the defensive is not an issue at that point, since the relationship would be so over anyway.

Reply 5

Fleece

15

:dito:

they've got nothing to go on the defensive about if you discover they're cheating....

Reply 6

jessiek

1

I've done it before...but that's when I was pretty sure something was going on. I was right. Him being on defensive mode ("why were you reading my texts?") is useless because he was caught. Period. In my case, he wasn't defensive and more like begging for forgiveness.

Reply 7

username9303

3

Anonymous

Yeah but how? Surely 'I read your texts' is going to put them on the defensive...

Oh it wouldn't be "I read your texts", it would be more along the lines of "get out my life you cheating ******* *****" lol

Reply 8

elr_moran

2

olliemccowan

Oh it wouldn't be "I read your texts", it would be more along the lines of "get out my life you cheating ******* *****" lol

I guess a part of me would feel bad, but at the same time, cheating is worse than looking through texts... in my opinion, anyway.

Reply 9

Catski

Say it were me cheating, and my partner read my texts. I would willingly admit that yes, cheating is a filthy thing to do - but at the same time I would really question THEIR trust in the relationship if they couldn't keep their paws off my personal correspondence.

In actual fact, I would be more angry about them reading my texts than I would that they'd found out I'd been cheating.

Reply 10

meathead1987

1

But if you find out they are cheating on u, you should have no trust for them anyway.

Reply 11

Wineblood

I wouldn't accept someone else reading my texts or me reading theirs, however, I believe the end justifies the means.

Reply 12

Helenia

20

If you're cheating, why are you stupid enough to leave the evidence so easily accessible? :wink:

Reply 13

username9303

3

Helenia

If you're cheating, why are you stupid enough to leave the evidence so easily accessible? :wink:

Very well said. If you're stupid enough to let your partner find out you're cheating then you deserve the consequences.

Reply 14

I went through my boyfriend's phone when we was on holiday together and found he had been texting girl. From the texts it was hard to tell if they had seen eachother, but she said something along the lines of 'I can't wait to come over and see you' (and I later found out she lives in Isle of White, but used to live near us) so they knew eachother from before but hadn;t met up whilst I was with him. I got that sick feeling rising up in my throat, and I started to feel faint aswell. He was in the shower at the time, so I was wondering whether to confront him or just forget about it. I cried, and decided there is no way I could ever forget. So I confronted him, and he was just silent. Then he swore to me it was nothing...he had been in the pub a few nights back with his mate and they thought it would be funny to text, things just escalated. If it wasn't for us being on holiday (in the middle of nowhere aswell!) I would have walked without turning back. But we talked and cried together and I realised I didn't want to be without him. People probably think I'm stupid, but believe me, if we were at home not on holiday, I would not be with him now. It's only because I coudn't escape him for a week that we talked things through. I'm still bitter about it to this day though, deep inside. But hey, what's done is done.

Reply 15

willey

4

Catski

Say it were me cheating, and my partner read my texts. I would willingly admit that yes, cheating is a filthy thing to do - but at the same time I would really question THEIR trust in the relationship if they couldn't keep their paws off my personal correspondence.

In actual fact, I would be more angry about them reading my texts than I would that they'd found out I'd been cheating.

Completely wrong.
Obviously if they checked your phone and found out that u had been cheating then obviously, they were right in not trusting the relationship.
I read my girlfriends texts and she reads mine (with her knowing I read them, not go sneaking and read it.) I have nothing to hide, nor does she. We also tell each other everything.
Obviously if she didn’t want me to read a text I wouldn’t and wouldn’t question her on it as I trust her more than anyone else!

Reply 16

Trigger

18

I stumbled on a web site whilst using my ex's internet via is history, and when i realised it was a dating website it was hard not to read the explicit messages he had been sending other girls. I dumped his ass pronto

Reply 17

Everdawn

13

Anonymous

The thread on Trust made me wonder...

If you sneakily read your partner's texts and did discover they were cheating on you, would you confront them about it? How?

(This is a hypothetical question, but when I've been in relationships before I've sometimes idly read their texts and always wondered what I'd actually do if I found the worst).

we read eachothers txts anyway, he sometimes takes my phone places if hes run out of credit. If I did get a sus txt id confront him straight away.

Reply 18

willey

4

trigger

I stumbled on a web site whilst using my ex's internet via is history, and when i realised it was a dating website it was hard not to read the explicit messages he had been sending other girls. I dumped his ass pronto

Fair play to you, would have done exactly the same

Reply 19

Trigger

18

THATS WHAT HE SAID :rolleyes:

do i look stupid lol

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