The Student Room Group

Friends and change

Since my college mates and I have gone to university (different university) everything has changed between us. Is this normal?
They are all living in university accomodation and I am not because I wanted to avoid the student debt and even before they left for uni, they seemed to look down on me because I was still living at home.

My best friend, who I was really close with, hasn't even bothered to keep in contact with me. She only told me she had a boyfriend because I text her to see how she was.

One of my so called friends has completely stopped talking to me for some reason and blocked me on the msn. I don't even know what I have done.

Now they have all come back home from university for xmas and I have text them to see how they are and if they want to meet up but none of them have bothered to text me back. I know they will want to catch up with their families and stuff but how long does it take to send a quick text message.

I have made some really fantastic friends at uni and I will miss them so much when they go home for xmas - it is definetly going to be a lonely and unsociable xmas and new years.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing and has anyone got any advice about what to do?

Thanks
It's normally for everyone to drift apart but blocking you is not very nice and perhaps they have changed their mob. number, not that they are seeing the texts?
mate, take the bull by the horns. ask them whats going on. if its as bad as you think and they've suddenly decided to not be friend with you any more, whqat difference does it make if your last conversation is an awkward one?
Reply 3
not to the same degree, but definitely.

im really going to miss living next door to my best friends, and conversations with friends have been strained, for sure.

advice would be to just ask them and see.. if you can?
Reply 4
pompey chick
Since my college mates and I have gone to university (different university) everything has changed between us. Is this normal?

Yes this is totally normal..in fact very common. Things are bound to change you're all growing up and becoming your own people and getting a new bunch of friends. It's a lot of effort to stay in touch with people back home and you often find your interests change. I know that I get absorbed in the place where I'm living and people I'm with day to day. I'm in touch with 1 person from childhood/school/6th form. Not because I didn't care about those people at the time..I'm just not that interested in them any more.
They don't sound like they were very good friends in the first place. To be honest, unless you were exceptionally close, I don't see you maintaining friendships with them throughout your life. Also, university is a time when a lot of people try to forget their old selves and make a fresh start, become someone completely different. My friends are all at university and at first were not in touch at all, but now I get regular emails and I know that they are excited to see me at Christmas. I think that's how you know that you have a true friend, that you can be far away from them and know that they still care. I'd forget your old "friends" and embrace your new ones.
Reply 6
thanks for all of ur advice!!!! I think you are all right. I've tried to make contact with them and they have not bothered contacting me so i'm not going to bother with them. I just find it a bit sad that we spent an amazing few years together and our friendships are not that strong enough to cope with the change of university. As you say its the new friends that I should be bothering about.
Thanks guys :top:
thats very similar to my situation. my old friends really havnt bothered apart from two of them. its a shame really. it just means im quite lonely at home with no social life and desperate to get back to uni. ill have to make sure i meet up with uni people and try to go out with people from work
Reply 8
Iv said it before and ill say it again,

People will ALWAYS ditch you when they find someone better.