This discussion is closed.
*dave*
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#61
Report 17 years ago
#61
(Original post by Howard)
Well, maybe, but that's not all I was driving at. I'm really thinking more about the way you live your life as a gay.

Really, you have 3 or 4 choices.

The first is outright "denial" You decide early on in life that being gay is too much hassle. You deny it. You push it away. You get married, have 2.4 kids, and forget all about it as best you can. I'd say probably 80% of all gays fall into this sorry category.

What else could you do? Well, you could lead a miserable double existance, spending your lunch hour joking with pals about how you fancy this bird/that bird but then spend your weekends at gay bars hoping to hell that nobody you know spots you entering or leaving. Not a happy life.

What else? Well, you go the whole hog and come out completely. You'll pretty soon find yourself isolated from mainstream society though. You'll probably harm your career advancement, be a subject of cruel jibes, and definately won't become master of the lodge.

I really have nothing against gay's at all (though I won't add the annoying caveat that "some of my best friends.........because that's not true) and it's really none of my business what anyone get's up to in the bedroom. But, there's gotta be an easier way of living life.
I agree, apart from the 'isolated from mainstream society' bit
0
Howard
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#62
Report 17 years ago
#62
(Original post by fishpaste)
You say people would be isolated from society. I'm not really sure about this. There are different sectors of society. The mainstreet middle chunk of society seems to love the gay guy these days, and they can integrate into a nice office full of mainly females. They'll probably make a million friends, and earn a decent wage.

But being very unfamiliar with the high fliers of this world, I'm not really sure if homophobia thwarts their progress in places like the city, government, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if it did, though it would rather sadden me.
Many people do take an isolationist route. Take a look around Castro, in San Fransisco. You'll find no shortage of folks that have really chosen to spend their lives in what really is a gay getto.
0
fishpaste
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#63
Report 17 years ago
#63
(Original post by Howard)
Many people do take an isolationist route. Take a look around Castro, in San Fransisco. You'll find no shortage of folks that have really chosen to spend their lives in what really is a gay getto.
And this, is what I refer to as the stupidity at the beginning of this thread.

I've been to the gay village in Manchester many times, the concept of a no straights policy really is quite beyond me.
0
Howard
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#64
Report 17 years ago
#64
(Original post by fishpaste)
And this, is what I refer to as the stupidity at the beginning of this thread.

I've been to the gay village in Manchester many times, the concept of a no straights policy really is quite beyond me.
Really? They have a "no straights" policy?
0
Josh75077
Badges: 0
#65
Report 17 years ago
#65
Being so many people have said that most guys are gay but don't know it.

What if you have a sexual experience with another guy, does that automatically make you gay??
0
Howard
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#66
Report 17 years ago
#66
(Original post by Josh75077)
Being so many people have said that most guys are gay but don't know it.

What if you have a sexual experience with another guy, does that automatically make you gay??
I think this is complete nonsense to be honest. How can you be gay and not know it?

You are either gay,bi, or staight, and we all know what we are.

If you are gay/bi you either supress it, or act on it. It makes no difference.

If you have another experience with another guy, then I'd say that (unless you were raped) you wanted to do it.

You might not have liked it, but the mere act of being turned on enough at the idea to exercise your curiosity would certainly make you bi-sexual, I'd have thought.
0
Rich
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#67
Report 17 years ago
#67
(Original post by fishpaste)
You say people would be isolated from society. I'm not really sure about this. There are different sectors of society. The mainstreet middle chunk of society seems to love the gay guy these days, and they can integrate into a nice office full of mainly females. They'll probably make a million friends, and earn a decent wage.

But being very unfamiliar with the high fliers of this world, I'm not really sure if homophobia thwarts their progress in places like the city, government, etc. I wouldn't be surprised if it did, though it would rather sadden me.
I don't think homophobia is anyway near as thwarting as it has been, unless you let it be. My dad's old boss was openly gay and was earning hundreds of thousands of pounds/year for one of the largest telecoms companies in the US. Having done my work experience in this office, I didn't observe any homophobia at all, even though he was actually quite camp. He was extremely well respected by all from the women through to the most conservative of the males.

I think that if you enter into a situation expecting something like your sexuality to be used against you by others, then it will be, however if you go into a situation confident about yourself and who you are, it is unlikely to affect your progress in today's society. OK, at first there may be the odd socially-ingrained jibe, but as time passes, I think most people are now intelligent enough to judge a person themselves on more than just their sexuality, rather than to rely on age-old prejudices.
0
Josh75077
Badges: 0
#68
Report 17 years ago
#68
If you have another experience with another guy, then I'd say that (unless you were raped) you wanted to do it.

You might not have liked it, but the mere act of being turned on enough at the idea to exercise your curiosity would certainly make you bi-sexual, I'd have thought.[/QUOTE]

-----------------------------------------------------------------

But you may have done it purely for the sexual experience, just cause it feels good, not because you had any feelings towards the other guy.
I reckon you can and not be gay, but I would guess many would disagree.
0
Howard
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#69
Report 17 years ago
#69
(Original post by Josh75077)
But you may have done it purely for the sexual experience, just cause it feels good, not because you had any feelings towards the other guy.
I reckon you can and not be gay, but I would guess many would disagree.
Well, I think that if you actually wanted that "sexual experience", you did it, and it "felt good" then surely "feelings" (you mean caring for/love I presume) towards the other guy are meaningless. Many heteros screw around with people they don't have any feelings for. That doesn't mean they're not hetero.

In the situation you describe I'd say you'd be bi-sexual.


(Please note I'm using you/your purely in the subjunctive)
0
Josh75077
Badges: 0
#70
Report 17 years ago
#70
(Original post by Howard)
Well, I think that if you actually wanted that "sexual experience", you did it, and it "felt good" then surely "feelings" (you mean caring for/love I presume) towards the other guy are meaningless. Many heteros screw around with people they don't have any feelings for. That doesn't mean they're not hetero.

In the situation you describe I'd say you'd be bi-sexual.


(Please note I'm using you/your purely in the subjunctive)

Hmmmmmmm.......I don't consider myself to be bisexual, I have never liked a guy as in wanting to date, like I have with a girl.
0
fishpaste
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#71
Report 17 years ago
#71
(Original post by Howard)
Really? They have a "no straights" policy?
Yes. Along with a "No people who don't look like Brian Molko/are in posession of an overpriced designer outfit which is far too clingy to be healthy" policy. It's a gigantic cliché in my experience.
0
suspicious_fish
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#72
Report 17 years ago
#72
(Original post by Howard)
Well, I think that if you actually wanted that "sexual experience", you did it, and it "felt good" then surely "feelings" (you mean caring for/love I presume) towards the other guy are meaningless. Many heteros screw around with people they don't have any feelings for. That doesn't mean they're not hetero.

In the situation you describe I'd say you'd be bi-sexual.


(Please note I'm using you/your purely in the subjunctive)
Well, in my opinion, if you're attracted to the same sex they you're gay.
If you're attracted to the opposite sex then you're straight.
And..... wait for it.... if you're attracted to both sexes then you're bisexual.
I think that experience has nothing to do with it, it's what you feel that counts. And love has nothing to do with it - you fall in love with personalities (or souls, depending on your beliefs), not genders.
0
Howard
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#73
Report 17 years ago
#73
(Original post by suspicious_fish)
Well, in my opinion, if you're attracted to the same sex they you're gay.
If you're attracted to the opposite sex then you're straight.
And..... wait for it.... if you're attracted to both sexes then you're bisexual.
I think that experience has nothing to do with it, it's what you feel that counts. And love has nothing to do with it - you fall in love with personalities (or souls, depending on your beliefs), not genders.
I think you'll find that's pretty much what I said in my post of 19 hours ago.
0
wizard
Badges:
#74
Report 17 years ago
#74
Well, it seems that nowadays if you don't support the gay people, you are "homophobic", which is obviously, wrong, if not ridiculous.
0
serendipity
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#75
Report 17 years ago
#75
(Original post by Big Boy)
I am gay and i find it hard to find boyfriends without being discriminated. I dont understand what is so wrong with being gay.
One of my best friends is gay and he's had as many boyfriends as i have.
0
*dave*
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#76
Report 17 years ago
#76
(Original post by wizard)
Well, it seems that nowadays if you don't support the gay people, you are "homophobic", which is obviously, wrong, if not ridiculous.
You dont have to privately agree with it ... its wen negative feelings are acted out in gay bashing that its seen as homophobia.
0
fishpaste
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#77
Report 17 years ago
#77
(Original post by wizard)
Well, it seems that nowadays if you don't support the gay people, you are "homophobic", which is obviously, wrong, if not ridiculous.
Well surely if you don't support the right to be gay then you're against the right to be gay and therefore coming under the usual definition of homophobic?
0
acidbubble
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#78
Report 17 years ago
#78
(Original post by fishpaste)
Well surely if you don't support the right to be gay then you're against the right to be gay and therefore coming under the usual definition of homophobic?
if u dont support something, u can have no opinion on the matter......
0
*dave*
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#79
Report 17 years ago
#79
(Original post by keithy)
if u dont support something, u can have no opinion on the matter......
I cant see why you wouldnt support it tho.
0
acidbubble
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#80
Report 17 years ago
#80
(Original post by *dave*)
I cant see why you wouldnt support it tho.
it is not really something that is supported or not. it just happens that some ppl r homosexual or bi...(i think quite alot of ppl r bi).

support should be against discrimination for being homosexual.

one good thing is that if more ppl r open to homosexuality, more ppl will show their real feelings....... less ppl will fake heterosexuality, and less ppl will go through joyless sex. Therefore the rate of increase in human population will decrease....maybe it will stablise. . i cant think of n e other good points for homosexuality, but there arent n e bad ones either.
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

What factors affect your mental health the most right now?

Anxiousness about lockdown easing (55)
4.82%
Uncertainty around my education (175)
15.35%
Uncertainty around my future career prospects (127)
11.14%
Lack of purpose or motivation (163)
14.3%
Lack of support system (eg. teachers, counsellors, delays in care) (49)
4.3%
Impact of lockdown on physical health (65)
5.7%
Loneliness (97)
8.51%
Financial worries (38)
3.33%
Concern about myself or my loves ones getting/having been ill (54)
4.74%
Exposure to negative news/social media (54)
4.74%
Lack of real life entertainment (60)
5.26%
Lack of confidence in making big life decisions (103)
9.04%
Worry about missed opportunities during the pandemic (100)
8.77%

Watched Threads

View All