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    I am extremely excited about university and what it can offer me. I look forward to the challenge of university life, learning and gaining a greater understanding of how computers work and to experience the social side. This will hopefully stand me in good stead to secure a job in the IT sector. I hope I can bring my academic and real life experiences of IT together, coupled with my enthusiasm for the subject to enable me to enjoy and succeed at degree level in Computer Science.
    I know its pretty important, so what do you think for a last paragraph? Constructive critiscism welcome.

    Thanks in advance, Rev
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    "I hope I can bring my academic and real life experiences of IT together, coupled with my enthusiasm for the subject to enable me to enjoy (it?) and succeed at degree level in Computer Science."

    looks allright
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    To me, this seems uncomfy (like you're trying to avoid use of the word "university" for a second time):

    I look forward to the challenge of university life, learning and gaining a greater understanding of how computers work and to experience the social side.
    Perhaps, instead:

    "I look forward to the challenge of undertaking a degree, learning and gaining a greater understanding of how computers work and to experience the social side of university."

    Also if I were writing this I'd be a bit more forceful and say what I want to happen, rather than what I hope to happen.

    This will hopefully stand me in good stead to secure a job in the IT sector.
    Perhaps, instead:

    "I believe this will stand me in good stead to secure a job in the IT sector."
 
 
 
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