The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
There are still blokes out there who want to wait until marriage as well. Id' be inclined to believe that because of corresponding values in life, you're more likely to stick it out for the long haul..

Harder to find, as it's more unusual these days. But anyone who ditches you because of your religious and moral beliefs isn't worth it anyway.
Reply 2
Nowadays its a rare and life-prolonging thing to find a girl who isn't a virgin (or a lad, if that's your thing). I prefer a virgin to someone who sleeps around, and is carrying a nasty STI or two.

Even disregarding that, a virgin is generally a nicer person than a non-virgin, since non-virgins tend to be more into sex etc...But yeah, just keep looking. One guy will respect your wish/es.

EDIT: Your boyfriend sounds like he is Catholic in name only, I mean if he really were Catholic he'd be a virgin now. I'm not religious, but I still stick to my values and morals. Which get me some neg rep on here but I dont care XD

Anyways, if you think your morals arent as important as your boyfriend 'moving fast' with you and rushing you into things you aren't sure about then drop them and jump into bed with him...

The decision is yours, but think carefully about it. I haven't said and won't ever say to my girlfriend that I expect sex. She knows the score, I'm ready when she's ready. End of.
Reply 3
Do you want to have sex? Forget for a minute all other considerations and ask yourself. Try not to give a toss about social expectations, sex is a very personal thing and a choice you should have full control over. It sounds like you're still unsure, so until you come to a decision don't rush into anything :smile:

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-TMG-

Even disregarding that, a virgin is generally a nicer person than a non-virgin, since non-virgins tend to be more into sex etc...


Not into stereotypes at all, are you? :rolleyes:
Reply 4
if they love you, they will espect your wishes. if not, they are just horny bastards with nothing better to do.
Reply 5
Just saying, that IMO losing your virginity is losing your innocence; when you have sex, your mind is 'dirtied' and not as clean as it was before. Not saying that in a bad way or anything, but that's how it is. A person changes...They think about sex more, and some will become more sexually promiscuous etc or aggressive...
Reply 6
-TMG-
Just saying, that IMO losing your virginity is losing your innocence; when you have sex, your mind is 'dirtied' and not as clean as it was before. Not saying that in a bad way or anything, but that's how it is. A person changes...They think about sex more, and some will become more sexually promiscuous etc or aggressive...


I don't understand how sex generally makes people less 'nice' though. In the right circumstances it can add a closer, more meaningful dimension to a relationship. I don't personally see it as a dirty or seedy act but, like I said, both people have to be trustful and respectful of the others' wishes.
Reply 7
shinytoy

the other thing is if i agree to only have sex with one person forever, will i want to know what i was missing?


I think once you're in love that dilemma won't matter. And most people (including men in some surveys I've come across) agree that sex when you're in love is a lot better.
Reply 8
shinytoy
but thats the thing. i like guys older than me, im 20 and my bf is 23. to get someone in their 20s to be with you long enough to love you, they expect sex. love might come after a year with the person, but sex needs to be there from say a month or so.

im so confused.

watching 'the 40 yr old virgin', tho it was funny, was very upsetting of the sterotype of virgins.

most epopel dont appeciate that you can only get married once just as you can only lose virginity once.

the other thing is if i agree to only have sex with one person forever, will i want to know what i was missing?


hmm.. love shouldn't take a year to come...? wow.
Reply 9
I've been in a relationship for over a year with my first ever boyfriend, and we haven't had sex yet, because at the moment it's not important. We are both virgins and I'm just saying that it is possible to find people like this, who are willing to wait.
Hope you find someone who's willing to respect your decisions. Obviously if your current bf leaves you because of this, then he's not really worth having in the first place.
Reply 10
I reasoned this one out and I think it's possible to be an Anglican and have sexual intercourse. I've not the foggiest about Catholicism I'm afraid. There certianly seem promiscuous elements in Latin American society from my limited reading.

This obviously tests your faith a great deal. I know by the age of 20 most of your friends will not be virgins but so what. I don't think you'll be a bad person if you did lose it to your boyfriend, but surely if this is to keep hold of him, it is for the wrong reasons. You must make a choice based on the emotions you anticipate by either having sex or not.
Reply 11
shinytoy
hello

basically im a 20 year old girl. i started dating people when i was 18 as i come from a catholic latino family,who do not believe in sex before marriage. in our culture women have no sex until marriage, young age about 20-25 then have marriage and kids.

i am in london and i have had 3 proper boyfiends. i am eager to get married and have kids as soon as possible. at the same time i want to marry someone i love, and also to uphold my cultural belief in no sex befre marriage

the dilemma is this. in the first 2 weeks or so of a relationship, the questions like 'how many people have you slept with?' or 'how many people have you been with?' comes up. alternatively when i am dating someone in the first couple of weeks they notice my reluctance to do anything physical and comment on it.

when i say i dont want sex without marriage then they drop me like a hot potato or say 'lets not be exclusive' and get it elsewhere.

i want to be married, and in order to do this i need a long term serious relationship. in order to have one, i seem to need to have sex.

my current boyfriend says he does understand my virginity and will take things slow but after months of waitng he does expect it.

what should i do?it seems a waste to have sex after holding off all this tim, yet no one else wants to date me when they know im not having sex with them until marriage
please any advice very gratefully recieved

- virginal and confused

Sounds like you just end up with the shallow guys who are only after one thing,
dont give up your beleifs or culture for losers like that, youll be glad when you find a decent guy who respects your beleifs and is prepared to wait.
I'm with someone who doesn't believe in sex before marriage. I don't share this belief but I love him so much there's no way I would end the relationship over it. Also, it can take a lot less time than a year to realise you love someone. Believe me, the right guy will understand and respect your beliefs.
Reply 13
you say this is more a moral belief than a religious one. In which case, if you think you're going to marry that person then maybe it's OK to sleep with them before you marry them?

You haven't said you love your bf, just that he loves you. Don't sleep with him just to please him, it's your virginity your losing, your religion, morals, respect. I reckon, if you think you'll marry the bf then it's OK to sleep with him before marriage. But I don't think you will marry him, by the fact you're talking about finding someone else.

When you're trying to meet someone else, don't say "no sex before marriage" at the outset, say you're a virgin and only want your first time to be special and with someone you love. Later, if you to keep to the marriage thing, then you can say it'd be really special to loose your virginity on your wedding night.

Anyway, I don't think you should sleep with your current bf, infact if he's making you feel pressurized I think you should dump him quick.
Reply 14
stick to what you believe.

proper gents will not care if they actually like you enough.
Reply 15
That's great!

Good luck, and if the guy does start pressuring you or touching you etc, doing anything you're not comfortable with - then tell him where to go. There are approximately 3 billion other males out there for you to choose from.

You're welcome for the advice.
Reply 16
definatly stick to what you believe- if a guy really loves you he'll wait, if he won't hes not worth it, and yo're better off without him.
Reply 17
shinytoy
are you catholic?

considering he has a pack of extra large trojan condoms as his avatar, i doubt it...
Reply 18
lol my innocent mind didnt notice that :biggrin:
Reply 19
lol yeah.

anyway, always stick with your faith and religion. ive known people to lose their virginity to others because they thought it would bring love and eventually marriage but they sincerely regretted it later on when things didnt work out. alot of guys would appreciate what your doing.