The Student Room Group

help - guy trouble

Ok, this is a longish story, so please bear with me.
While I was chasing after another guy at uni, I heard that a fresher (we'll call him T) was interested in me, and I thought he seemed like an ok guy. When things didn't work out with the other guy I liked I started getting to know T a bit better. He was pretty flirty but nothing really happened, and then about a week back I heard that he'd got together with a girl he liked so I accepted that nothing was going to happen.

Next day we were chatting on msn and he said something about his lovelife being crap and none of the girls he liked liking him back. Turns out that the girl he liked pulled someone else about 10 minutes after saying she wanted to go out with him, so he was a bit hurt. Anyway, we were flirting over msn and he pretty much said that he liked me and then went to bed.
The evening after that I went over his, we kissed and I ended up sleeping with him and staying the night (we were both sober). The next morning I got up for my lecture and he walked me out of his flat, gave me a kiss goodbye. Saw him later on and he was still being really flirty (I was too).

Fastforward a couple of days, and I'm back home. I didn't get a chance to see him to say goodbye so I texted him saying it'd been nice seeing more of him and have a nice xmas etc...didn't get any reply but I guess I hadn't really asked a question for him to reply to. But now he's ignoring me on msn, and a couple of times has logged off as soon as I've come on. I haven't heard anything from him for 3 days.

I don't really know what to do :frown: It feels to me like he's not interested in me and thinks sleeping with me was a mistake...does anyone have any opinions/advice on what I should do? Or how I should interpret him?
Reply 1
Um i dunno...maybe he thinks ur fine for term time but now he's home he's free to pursue other girls?


one interpretation..
Reply 2
Hmm the cynic in me started up once I read this message. Firstly how much do you know about this guy, T? How did you find out T liked you?

You only have his word that this girl said OK & then pulled someone else. Could he have been trying to make you feel sorry for him or is it a dead cert that this happened? You heard that he had got together with this girl. Is it possible in the time scale that he slept with her and then ditched her? The fact that he can sooo quickly get over her and onto you suggests that he doesn't really care that much about either of you.

It's hard to say what is happening without knowing more details and knowing the guy. However it seems somewhat suspicious that he hasn't replied to texts and he logs off MSN when you come on. However if I were truly trying to avoid someone I would block them..not just jump offline when they appear. Did he ever say he was interested in a relationship? Sorry to say but it's perfectly possible he wanted sex and no strings...especially if you weren't friends before.
Reply 3
rosetinted
Hmm the cynic in me started up once I read this message. Firstly how much do you know about this guy, T? How did you find out T liked you?

You only have his word that this girl said OK & then pulled someone else. Could he have been trying to make you feel sorry for him or is it a dead cert that this happened? You heard that he had got together with this girl. Is it possible in the time scale that he slept with her and then ditched her? The fact that he can sooo quickly get over her and onto you suggests that he doesn't really care that much about either of you.

It's hard to say what is happening without knowing more details and knowing the guy. However it seems somewhat suspicious that he hasn't replied to texts and he logs off MSN when you come on. However if I were truly trying to avoid someone I would block them..not just jump offline when they appear. Did he ever say he was interested in a relationship? Sorry to say but it's perfectly possible he wanted sex and no strings...especially if you weren't friends before.


Cynicism is awesome. First of all, I've known him for about 2 months but I don't know loads about him. I found out he liked me through 2 different people; apparently he'd been asking around to see if I was single.
He may have been trying to get sympathy off me but he seems like an honest guy. I doubt he cares much about me; I don't care much about him, but I was hoping we could try and get something to work. And yes, it is highly possible he wanted 'NSA', and it does seem like that at the moment. I suppose I'm just being optimistic and hoping that someone'll deny it :rolleyes:
Reply 4
I think you should have made it clear what you wanted before you put out, may be he saw it as a bit of fun.
Reply 5
I'm going to edge towards the no strings option. Mainly going by the fact that he's suddenly stopped texting and chatting. Most guys understand that if they sleep with a girl then she often starts worrying over whether it was just a one night stand. Usually if they are interested in more they will be in touch to stop you feeling paranoid. If he seemed like a pretty straightforward, honest guy and was interested then he would have got in touch to say that was nice, looking forward to seeing you when you get back.

Of course he hasn't done anything wrong per say..but by not really clarifying what it was before things happened the opportunity was there for him to get sex and bugger off guilt free. If it has been 4 or 5 days now and still no word then I'd say cut your losses and leave it for now. Let him get in contact if he wants to speak to you. See how things are when you get back and enjoy your Christmas without getting too concerned over this guy. Going back to your original message he probably doesn't consider sleeping with you to be a mistake..it's just that maybe his expectations for what happens after were different from yours.

Kate xx
opiache

Next day we were chatting on msn and he said something about his lovelife being crap and none of the girls he liked liking him back. Turns out that the girl he liked pulled someone else about 10 minutes after saying she wanted to go out with him, so he was a bit hurt.


So he has several irons in the fire at once and gets bummed when one of the many likes someone else....did he think you'd all be lolling around just waiting for him or something? He likes you, then he likes her (and who knows how many others) and poor diddums feels abandoned when 1 of you goes off with someone else.

He might be a genuinely nice guy who just really doesn't have a clue on how you should treat girls but if nothing else you had some (presumably lol) good sex and didn't get hurt in the process....think how much more annoying it would have been if you had actually liked him loads.