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I want to go to Edinburgh, but my parents are reluctant
I'm just looking for some advice/ experiences from people who have been in this situation, or anyone else who can give me some advice.
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
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Do whatever makes you happy.They won't be spending three years at uni,you will...and you are going to be away the same amount of time so what difference does it make where you are?
Lol. The idea of coming home at the weekend is a bit silly. I've been at uuni for almost a year and a half now, and haven't had the time to come home during term.
MB
MB
You do have to be careful with this; ultimately they can stop you going, after all, they're almost certainly paying your fees, driving you and all your stuff up there, maybe even paying things like rent.
So you can't just go into a big sulk and insist on going anyway. I was lucky, my mum accepted that I wanted Edinburgh as my firm choice (though I think she was secretly a bit pleased that I ended up at my not-too-far-away insurance instead!), so I can't really suggest much. Maybe try and help them understand just why you've fallen in love with the place (and I can understand why! sigh...).
So you can't just go into a big sulk and insist on going anyway. I was lucky, my mum accepted that I wanted Edinburgh as my firm choice (though I think she was secretly a bit pleased that I ended up at my not-too-far-away insurance instead!), so I can't really suggest much. Maybe try and help them understand just why you've fallen in love with the place (and I can understand why! sigh...).
Sorry, I forgot to add, they're supporting me mostly, and they kinda have a lot of power over where I apply, but I just want to persuade them and if I said "It's my choice" they would say "but then we won't support you".
And I don't really want to upset them either, and where do you go during the holidays if you live far away from home? They'd probably say "find somewhere else" if I were to come home because I went against their wishes of me not going to this uni.
And I don't really want to upset them either, and where do you go during the holidays if you live far away from home? They'd probably say "find somewhere else" if I were to come home because I went against their wishes of me not going to this uni.
dogtanian
You do have to be careful with this; ultimately they can stop you going, after all, they're almost certainly paying your fees, driving you and all your stuff up there, maybe even paying things like rent.
So you can't just go into a big sulk and insist on going anyway. I was lucky, my mum accepted that I wanted Edinburgh as my firm choice (though I think she was secretly a bit pleased that I ended up at my not-too-far-away insurance instead!), so I can't really suggest much. Maybe try and help them understand just why you've fallen in love with the place (and I can understand why! sigh...).
So you can't just go into a big sulk and insist on going anyway. I was lucky, my mum accepted that I wanted Edinburgh as my firm choice (though I think she was secretly a bit pleased that I ended up at my not-too-far-away insurance instead!), so I can't really suggest much. Maybe try and help them understand just why you've fallen in love with the place (and I can understand why! sigh...).
Yeah, it sounds like a great place and I've never been to Scotland before, and it sounds really exciting! The thing is, my close friend has applied there too, and my parents just think I'm going there to "follow" her, but while this is partially the case, my overall choice is because I've heard really good things about the country (landscape, scenery, weather-snow) and it has good reputation too, plus you get to be in a castle! (
)Another thing, do you khow how cheap private accomodation is? Maybe I can pay rent for myself... if it's not too much.
Getting to Edinburgh and back to london is easy with planes, hour flight or so? £40-£50 price if you book well in advance. So it isn't a real problem. But then if you go by plane you will be restricted by what you can take, unless you pay for bulk luggage etc.
Its the inital haul up there that would be difficult. I don't think coming home on the weekends is that practical, you will find you won't want to anyway, i went home once last term and i live an hour and a bit away by train. I would go visit and make CERTAIN that is the uni for you, pictures are one thing, seeing it is another.
Its the inital haul up there that would be difficult. I don't think coming home on the weekends is that practical, you will find you won't want to anyway, i went home once last term and i live an hour and a bit away by train. I would go visit and make CERTAIN that is the uni for you, pictures are one thing, seeing it is another.
At the end of the day your parents will want what makes you happy. What I would do is visit the universities you are interested in, with your dad or mom or both in tow. Then you can make an informed decision about where you want to go. Also I'm sure that your parents will consider how high up the league tables Edinburgh is and the course and standard of teaching.
It sounds to me as if all of you need to get involved in investigating the unis. That way once you decide where you want to go they know that you have considered your options and made the best decision for you. Check out everywhere and don't make your mind up yet. At the end of the day the place isn't the main thing. You have to be studying something which interests you and the particular course and percentage of practical work..etc will be very important. Chose your subject, then the course you're interested in and then consider where it's located. Don't go to your parents going..I want to go to Edinburgh cos it seems really cool & fun. Show them that you're made a serious, mature decision and they should respect it.
Kate xx
It sounds to me as if all of you need to get involved in investigating the unis. That way once you decide where you want to go they know that you have considered your options and made the best decision for you. Check out everywhere and don't make your mind up yet. At the end of the day the place isn't the main thing. You have to be studying something which interests you and the particular course and percentage of practical work..etc will be very important. Chose your subject, then the course you're interested in and then consider where it's located. Don't go to your parents going..I want to go to Edinburgh cos it seems really cool & fun. Show them that you're made a serious, mature decision and they should respect it.
Kate xx
a) you, as a southerner, might be seduced by some of the glamour pics of the place but come winter and you're freezing your ass off it isnt such a nice place. you havent felt weather like it where you're from 
b) its one of the most expensive places in the UK to live in...and dont think you'll get as highly paid in a job as you do in london
c) edinburgh uni has an overinflated reputation anyhow.
b) its one of the most expensive places in the UK to live in...and dont think you'll get as highly paid in a job as you do in london
c) edinburgh uni has an overinflated reputation anyhow.
One of my Melbourne friends whose parents moved to UK 5 years ago attends Edinburgh Uni! If you do go, I'll be stalking you online here to make sure you keep an eye out for her and make sure she's doing OK 
Anyway I'm from Melbourne but live in Canberra for uni, and I think that's about the same distance, so you can tell your parents that too if you want
If your parents are likely to put pressure on you to come home at weekends, you probably want to make sure you go somewhere that's not really practical! Coming home at weekends just restricts your social life at uni. Once or twice a term is alright, but these people who go home all the time just don't seem to fit in. Most of my friends haven't been home at all until now.
your parents sound like they might be having problems with the thought of you being out of their house for a substantial amount of time each year, and out of their immediate control. this is normal. it is your duty to help them cope with this.
the best thing way you could acheive this, would be by applying to the universities you want to go to, that are the best for the subject you want to study. if that means applying for a university like edinburgh, then so be it. sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind.
the best thing way you could acheive this, would be by applying to the universities you want to go to, that are the best for the subject you want to study. if that means applying for a university like edinburgh, then so be it. sometimes, you have to be cruel to be kind.
Wow poor you.
I'd try and have a grown up conversation about their reasons for wanting to keep you so close to home - sooner or later you'll leave anyway and wouldn't they rather you have the chance to experience total independence but in a controlled environment where there's a support system there for you? Coming home every weekend isn't totally practical regardless of where you are (often mates will invite you back home with them for the weekends or if you join clubs/etc they'll have stuff on) so keeping that in mind it doesn't really matter how far away you are, the journey time will just be different that's all. Your choice of uni will in some way affect the rest of your life and it would be a shame if they made the decision for you
Good luck!
I'd try and have a grown up conversation about their reasons for wanting to keep you so close to home - sooner or later you'll leave anyway and wouldn't they rather you have the chance to experience total independence but in a controlled environment where there's a support system there for you? Coming home every weekend isn't totally practical regardless of where you are (often mates will invite you back home with them for the weekends or if you join clubs/etc they'll have stuff on) so keeping that in mind it doesn't really matter how far away you are, the journey time will just be different that's all. Your choice of uni will in some way affect the rest of your life and it would be a shame if they made the decision for you
Good luck!
meew
I'm just looking for some advice/ experiences from people who have been in this situation, or anyone else who can give me some advice.
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
If you are allowed to be two hours away by train, what's wrong with one hour by plain? It costs the same (probably less) to fly from London to Edinburgh, and organising a flight in advance is just as easy as a train in advance.
At the end of the day though, I'd say you need to make them realise that it's your decision, and while they can disapprove, in the end, it's you that's going to have to go to a uni for three years etc. I guess the one thing that doesn't help your case is your friend; you admit part of your reason for applying is to go there, so they are perhaps (at least partially) right when they say perhaps you aren't making the decision for the right reasons?
You parents sound like they want to keep you under thier roof or at least at arm's length for as long as possible -why do they want you to be so close?
I lived an hour away from home at uni and never ever went home, purely cos there was too much fun stuff on.
The advice about working out what you love about edinburgh is great - esp think about the cold factor!
I lived an hour away from home at uni and never ever went home, purely cos there was too much fun stuff on.
The advice about working out what you love about edinburgh is great - esp think about the cold factor!
It's definitely time for a sit down and a chat with the 'rents. They seem slightly disillusioned in that they are expecting you going to university not to get in the way too much of their contact/control of you. They also don't seem to be considering that perhaps the nearby unis don't have as good reputation/you might not be happy at them! These are important things to clarify; going to Edinburgh isn't going to make your parents views disappear so it'll still be a problem. Like everyone said, there is no point in throwing a big strop as they are supporting you, so tread carefully. I would say play it as a worry rather than an annoyance, if you tell them it's upsetting and worrying you as you really aren't sure there are any unis that meet their requirements AND yours, that might sound reasonable. Then take them up to Edinburgh and make them love it.
If that doesn't work, then do try to remember that Edinburgh is not that great, and it's not a good plan to set your heart on one particular uni. Not only as you might not get in, but because realistically there are loads of places you would be happy at, and share the things you like about Edinburgh. Take a look around and maybe compromise slightly in your uni choices.
Cxx
If that doesn't work, then do try to remember that Edinburgh is not that great, and it's not a good plan to set your heart on one particular uni. Not only as you might not get in, but because realistically there are loads of places you would be happy at, and share the things you like about Edinburgh. Take a look around and maybe compromise slightly in your uni choices.
Cxx
yeah as well as what every one else said bout involving them in the uni search so they can see what really suits u etc....maybe try telling them that the distance really isnt such a huge deal in terms of coming home...if u get accommadation where u pay for the whole year...eg. inclcding xmas hols etc u can leave ur stuff up their the whole year and just fly back with the minimal stuff u need for a month of so stay at home.....u prob wont be able to carry back much more stuff on the train.....
as for distance away from home..well like everyones said most people dont want to/dont go back home many weekends....and those that do do have a harder time making friends socialising...so the advice always is..even if u wanna go home in the first term or whatever dont...brave it out if at all possible go out instead and enjoy yourself...maybe if u explain this to your parents....that as much as u love them (or whatever) you still wanna have the best chance at making new friends (which seeing as they love u will want the best 4 u too) and that distance doesnt really make any difference therefore.....like i live an hr away from home (which is in south london and i m in north london) and its just one cheap train ride....but i only went home one weekend in this first term......but my friend in who lives like 2 1/2 or 3 hrs away went home like everyother weekend or so.......
as for distance away from home..well like everyones said most people dont want to/dont go back home many weekends....and those that do do have a harder time making friends socialising...so the advice always is..even if u wanna go home in the first term or whatever dont...brave it out if at all possible go out instead and enjoy yourself...maybe if u explain this to your parents....that as much as u love them (or whatever) you still wanna have the best chance at making new friends (which seeing as they love u will want the best 4 u too) and that distance doesnt really make any difference therefore.....like i live an hr away from home (which is in south london and i m in north london) and its just one cheap train ride....but i only went home one weekend in this first term......but my friend in who lives like 2 1/2 or 3 hrs away went home like everyother weekend or so.......
meew
I'm just looking for some advice/ experiences from people who have been in this situation, or anyone else who can give me some advice.
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
I live in London. My parents have stated their dissaproval at me going to a uni far away, but the university of Edinburgh is one of my top choices. I'm going to be applying for unis next year, but I've already chosen a few unis which I feel like I definitely want to apply to (Edinburgh!). I've seen pictures of Edinburgh and the uni and I really love the idea of living there, plus it's in such a beautiful country
Yeah the UK is such a beautiful country.
meew
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
Anyway, my parents want me to stay in a place that's a maximum of 1- 2 hours away (train or car), so that I can come home during the weekends and it would be easier moving back home during the holidays, but I think they think I can't handle living far away without them and they probably think I'm irresponsible and won't cope being so far away.
I'm going to try talking to them when it comes to August when thinking about the unis I'm going to apply to once I have my AS results, but for now I'm trying to think of ways to persuade them to let me study there.
Can anyone offer me some advice?
As for that problem. I find it very unhealthy that your parents want you to be a maximum of 2 hours away.
There was this guy on my course. His parents lived 4 hours away and would come and see him every week or every 2 weeks. It just didn't seem right. All the work placements he did, he stayed a couple of days and then went back home for the rest of the Summer after his manager agreed with his Dad to pretend he'd worked several months.
Why do your parents want you to be 2 hours away? I think it's because they want to be able to protect you... It's time to tell them that you've grown up.
I went to Uni, 10 hours away (by car) and then studied in Canada for a bit and despite that, I find my parents over-protective (and I'm flipping 24!). Thank god I got away from home...
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