Letting people down gently..

How do you do it? I mean what do you say to them? Without making it sound patronising or insulting, and without making them upset or angry about it? All advice much apprieciated!

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Reply 1

Tyler Durden

"I will be joining the Foreign Legion from Friday" or "I am gay" or (watch out, here comes a cliché) "It's not you, it's me" or "I've been thinking..." etc. There's no real formula, just tell them kindly - they might well be upset but that's unfortunatley a part of it. If you remember why you liked them in the first place you should know how to treat them so as to avoid upset.

Reply 2

musicbloke

text message reading 'welcome to dumpsville, population you'

MB

Reply 3

username21537

musicbloke

text message reading 'welcome to dumpsville, population you'

MB

Reply 4

Tyler Durden

musicbloke

text message reading 'welcome to dumpsville, population you'

MB

"Dumpedville" surely? :p:

Reply 5

Segat1

I just say, I don't fancy you like that. Sorry. Then rip out thier heart and stamp on it a billion gazillion times.

Reply 6

IzzTheGreat

It depends if you're already going out with them or not, some background would be useful :smile:

I got quite a nice gentle let down from a guy I was interested in recently. I said I liked him and he said he liked me back but he was crazy about another girl and it wouldn't be fair on me to have a relationship. Made me feel a lot better than if he'd said he wasn't attracted to me, even though he probably isn't.

If you're already in a relationship with this person then maybe letting them down gently isn't the best idea. I tried that with my ex and wasn't firm enough so he got the impression we could still get back together. I dunno. Say you're gay.

Reply 7

kinza75

and it's really annoying when they keep saying it and 'so when will you be ready'....er never...!

Reply 8

Everdawn

noofruit

How do you do it? I mean what do you say to them? Without making it sound patronising or insulting, and without making them upset or angry about it? All advice much apprieciated!

ive lost my libido. Go away and die. :biggrin:

Reply 9

Jonathan

Rip out their beating heart and throw it against the wall... let it slide down... down the side of the bin... thud.

Reply 10

username21537

How Very Simpson-esque

Reply 11

Dragonshorts

It depends if you're already going out with them or not, some background would be useful
I got quite a nice gentle let down from a guy I was interested in recently. I said I liked him and he said he liked me back but he was crazy about another girl and it wouldn't be fair on me to have a relationship. Made me feel a lot better than if he'd said he wasn't attracted to me, even though he probably isn't.

If you're already in a relationship with this person then maybe letting them down gently isn't the best idea. I tried that with my ex and wasn't firm enough so he got the impression we could still get back together. I dunno. Say you're gay.

No not already in a relationship.. Its because Im not sure he really wants to go out with me or if its just because hes in an 'I want a girlfriend' type mood, and Ive had bad experiences with going out with people Im not entirely sure about before. I just want to put it nicely.

Reply 12

rosetinted

how about.."I'm really into someone right now so thanks but I don't think I can"?

I think someone else suggested it as well..but it is a kind way to let someone down. He'll get over it..esp if he only wants to go out with you cos he's in an I want a girlfriend mood.

Reply 13

MNBStyle

musicbloke

text message reading 'welcome to dumpsville, population you'

MB

Its Dumpedville you got that off the Simpsons didnt you???

Reply 14

username21537

it doesnt really matter anyhow, it is appropriate here :biggrin:

Reply 15

Poison Ivy

I can never do it, it's sooooo difficult!

Reply 16

sierraleone

Not that it happens very often, but when the case arises I hide and try to avoid contact with said person as much as possible. I live in the hope that they'll get the message.

Otherwise, the old "It's not me, it's you" might work.

Reply 17

username21537

Our Wardrobes Clash. Youre dumped

Reply 18

twinkledust

The nicer you are, the worse it makes the situation. Cause people hang on to the hope cause you were so nice about it, that you still like them and look for signs in everything you say and do. Just be truthful with them, that way they know where they stand. You gotta be cruel to be kind.