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    ok well my mum went away for christmas last year, becasue she thought it would be best. The year befor was terrible! Smashed plates, massive arguments we all had to actully leave the house cos my mum was on a massive mad one, she wasnt even drunk which made it worse!
    so when she went away last year she only told us like a few days before and we were all like yeah yeah whatever, and so she left. she tried to call us on xmas day but for some reason the phone never rang, and she left a message on the phone saying 'oh thanks for not wishing me happy chritsmas, i hope you are all having a wonderfull time without me' and you could tell she was crying.
    so she has an argument with my dad and then he goes and says oh last year was the best christmas becasue you wernt there, and now my mum has used that for reason to go away again. she went away for a week on her own and i dont want her to go because shes just gonna spend the whole time drunk and pissing off the english people that live there. ive hardly seen her this week cos shes just been in her room watching tv and getting drunk all day. she came downstairs and i said we need to make a shopping list for the food and stuff, so we are making the list and then shes like oh well im not going to be here, im leaving on friday. i told her that she should stay because theres no point on her being on her own again, i said that she just needs to stay sober and then everything will be ok, but then she goes off on one saying oh its your fathers falt.
    she is really depressed and im worried that if she goes away shes gonna kill herself or something because she said she would once.
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    Have you got another family member that can help you out cos really you don't want to be dealing with this on your own. Sorry I can't really offer any specific advice.
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    well thats another thing, now that my older sister actully has her own family i dont wanna go and gatecrash their xmas, or have some massive argument about who is going to who's house, it pisses me right off. i told my mum that we are not going to theirs cos they have their own family and dont need us bothering them.
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    Does your sister know whats been going on with your mum? It might make it easier if you're with other people (then again it might not but at least you'll have the support if things do go wrong...) Perhaps you should try talking to your mum about the drinking, just tell her your worried about her.
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    (Original post by beach_surf_babe)
    Does your sister know whats been going on with your mum? It might make it easier if you're with other people (then again it might not but at least you'll have the support if things do go wrong...) Perhaps you should try talking to your mum about the drinking, just tell her your worried about her.
    everyone knows about my mums drinking hence why no one wants to spend xmas here. me and both of my sisters grew up with her drinking and theres nothing we can do about it.
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    But there is! If she wants to stop drinking then there are all sorts of support groups and help for her to do so..
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    If your mom and dad keep arguing this much, they need to see a marriage counsellor

    If that doesn’t work the only thing left is divorce I guess
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    (Original post by beach_surf_babe)
    But there is! If she wants to stop drinking then there are all sorts of support groups and help for her to do so..
    yeah but thats only if her mum WANTS to stop drinking herself....nothing her kids do are gonna help her or persuade her to stop if she hasnt decided shes gonna do it herself...it might not make sense but its true...believe me...

    the only thing i can say is maybe suggest a quiet christmas..so everyone is less stressed and its more like a normal day (which i appreciate might not be fun) then maybe have xmas with your friends or sister on another day just a small celebration..so your mum doesnt have to go away....

    but whatever u do if you dont want your mum to go away i think u r gonna need your dads support and ask himto try not to wind your mum up...even if its her picking on him or whatever cause she drunk or whatever....

    and try not to worry about your mum hurting herself or ending her life or whatever if she does go away.....if she has just threatened it once she probably didnt mean it....even if she is depressed it doesnt necessarily mean she will got through with it....maybe call her each day...so she knows u still care....

    i know its gonna be tough though whatever happens...so sorry hun that ur in that situation...it sucks i know....what sort of help has your mum had so far.....even if it hasnt worked so far keep trying...something might finally work....and u've got nothing to lose from trying to help her...i know its hard and frustrating though...esp if its been going on for ages like it sounds like

    u can PM if u wanna chat more
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    You probably won't want to hear this, but the only thing that can fix your mum's drinking is your mum herself, and time. My dad has had a drinking problem for years. He has been on various medications from his doctor, has been to numerous help-groups and has had my mum going on at him for all of this time and none of it worked.

    However over the past few weeks he has, by his own decision, started going to a new help group and is now finally doing something about his drinking. The only reason this has suddenly happened is because he was finally ready for it, for whatever reason. It's not just about wanting to stop drinking, your mum will also need to be at a stage where she feels able to stop drinking, where she feels like it is something she can do without breaking down or losing it. Alcoholics must help themselves in their own time. Anyone who is not or has not been an alcoholic can never understand what an alcoholic goes through.

    People on here have mentioned things like counselling and support groups. Yes these things do exist, but there is no point in trying to force your mum to go to any of these things, she must make the decision for herself in her own time. I have been there and I do know what I am talking about.

    This probably doesn't help your situation with your mum this christmas, but I hope it gives you hope for the future. One day your mum will be ready to sort her problem out, but nobody can force it. All you can do in the meantime is accept her problem and do what ever you feel is neccesary for you to be able to cope with it.

    You can pm me too if you need to chat.
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    (Original post by BhArJ)
    If your mom and dad keep arguing this much, they need to see a marriage counsellor

    If that doesn’t work the only thing left is divorce I guess
    the only reason they are still together is me, my sisters have left and im the only one still at home
 
 
 
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