The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
Chester
Following on from a conversation I had with my cousin, we both agreed that we couldnt / wouldnt go out with someone we werent at least slightly attracted to... But at the same time, this seems a bit fickle and shallow.

However, if there's no spark then the relationship's going no where.

Comments?

Chester


Would you not even wanna be with them if you were desperate?
Reply 2
Im more of a personality person, having said that, good looks is a bonus,lol and indeed it is shallow of me to say so but yeah
Reply 3
horrorboy, I've just noticed, we've got the same birthday!

No I wouldn't go out with someone who I wasn't attracted to... it wouldn't be fair on them and it would just feel weird.
Reply 4
horrorboy
Would you not even wanna be with them if you were desperate?


depends on how desperate I was. Possibly. But probably not.

[This is making me appear very shallow!]
Reply 5
Chester
Following on from a conversation I had with my cousin, we both agreed that we couldnt / wouldnt go out with someone we werent at least slightly attracted to... But at the same time, this seems a bit fickle and shallow.

However, if there's no spark then the relationship's going no where.

Comments?

Chester

I'm sure you meant physically atttacted to, because what's the point of being with someone you weren't attracted to. And by attracted, i mean someone you were interesting in.
Reply 6
No, I couldn't date someone I wasn't physically attracted to.

IMO, looks is what attracts in the first place.
Reply 7
If there's no spark, there's no point. The date would just be a waste.
Reply 8
Attraction for females has little to do with looks (although I admit it helps). It's all about the guys attitude and personality - if he's the alpha male of the group then girls find him attractive - which is why many go for the badboy types since they're almost certainly alpha males and dominate their social groups.

Some girls say they want a 'nice' guy who's sweet and buys them things and takes them on romantic dates. Well that might sound ideal, it doesn't create attraction.
Reply 9
No there is no point if you are not attracted to them.

I had sex with some random girl, she was ok average looking in my opinion and it was s***. It was a bad way to lose my virginity.

If you go out with someone who you dont find attractive it simply wont work and the sex is likely to be not very good. Best wait for the right person in my opinion.
to fancy/love someone you have to find them attractive, in my opinion!
Reply 11
I once didnt go out with someone cos I wasnt that attracted to them. I have seriously come to regret this over time. I then got to know him more and started to fall for his personalty and his looks grew on me. Then last year on my birthday I was going to tell him how I felt. Only he turned up in the pub with his new girlfriend who wouldnt let him speak to me.

Then at New Year things happened between us and he told me that he had always loved me. He was in the middle of splitting up with his girlfriend. When he confessed to her the next day so declared that she was three months pregnant but wanted an abortion. I was devested. Took me months to get over it. I have found out a couple of weeks ago that this "girlfriend" wasnt really pregnant and only making it up to keep the guy.

If Id have gone out with him in the first place then none of it would happen. You need to get to know someone before you judge them. I didnt and I ended up the one getting hurt. Take my advice people!!!
Reply 12
attraction isnt totally dependant on looks obviously it is intitially because thats the reason you first notice someone but after that personality is more important for me.
But obviously you have to be physically attracted to the person..you couldnt kiss someone you thought was really ugly...could you...?
Not really. The whole point of going out with someone is that you find them attractive :p:
Reply 14
The-Lennon
you should anyway just to get extra experience


:laugh:
Jack0
Attraction for females has little to do with looks (although I admit it helps). It's all about the guys attitude and personality - if he's the alpha male of the group then girls find him attractive - which is why many go for the badboy types since they're almost certainly alpha males and dominate their social groups.
How can you state that all girls go for the same thing? Clearly this isn't true or else only the asshole types you're describing would ever get dates. I'm not attracted to the jack the lad, man's man type that you're describing and a lot of women I know wouldn't be either. Different people are attracted to different things.
Some girls say they want a 'nice' guy who's sweet and buys them things and takes them on romantic dates. Well that might sound ideal, it doesn't create attraction.
Some girls DO like that. Yes it's correct to say that it isn't going to create a physical attraction to someone if you give them flowers. Some people like little gifts and romantic things to feel appreciated. I believe that when someone starts to feel more strongly for another person the physical attraction can grow. So yes in a convoluted sort of way doing something romantic can make someone more attracted to you, by making them fall for you a bit more. If someone treats me badly I become less attracted to them because I look at them differently from then on.

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To the original question. For me there has to be some physical attraction to go out with someone. It's possible for the physical attraction to grow as you start to like them as a person more, but there has to be some initial attraction to begin with.
Reply 16
Jack0
Attraction for females has little to do with looks (although I admit it helps). It's all about the guys attitude and personality - if he's the alpha male of the group then girls find him attractive - which is why many go for the badboy types since they're almost certainly alpha males and dominate their social groups.
:rolleyes: That's honestly quite a stupid generalization.

Ever occured to you that there are girls who turn down this so-called 'alpha male' because they're interested in the most shy nerdy guy in the class?
I went out with someone I didnt think of as particularly good looking because I thought he was really sweet and funny. Then I got to know him better and he had no good looks to distract me from what a complete moron he was... Not good.
Reply 18
I would because from past experience I know perfectly well that if I fall in love with somebody I suddenly find them the most attractive person in the world. I have 3 serious exes all of whom I fancied like mad and only 1 of them is actually proper fit - the other two I was just very love-struck

That said there's the obvious point here that I don't go out with people just to sleep around - it'd be different if it was a relationship where love wasnt a factor
Reply 19
Jack0
Attraction for females has little to do with looks (although I admit it helps). It's all about the guys attitude and personality - if he's the alpha male of the group then girls find him attractive - which is why many go for the badboy types since they're almost certainly alpha males and dominate their social groups.

Some girls say they want a 'nice' guy who's sweet and buys them things and takes them on romantic dates. Well that might sound ideal, it doesn't create attraction.


Nice of you to speak for all of womankind there. Any other gems you'd like to share?