Intriguing Alias
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#1
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#1
Things get a bit too serious in here sometimes with all the talk of applying and grades etc. So how about sharing some maths jokes, even if you think we may of heard them just go for it.

Why couldn't I eat any mince pies after christmas dinner?

Because \sqrt {\frac{-1}{64}}

Sorry if this has been done before but couldn't find on search. Just an idea to have some fun.
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ak9779
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#2
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#2
I don't get your joke
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HugoDuchovny
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#3
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I don't know if you're in my range, but I'd sure like to take you back to my domain.
I'll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior.
Can i explore your mean value?
Being without you is like being a metric space in which exists a cauchy sequence that does not converge
My love for you is a monotonically increasing unbounded function
You are the solution to my homogeneous system of linear equations.
Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator!
Let's take each other to the limit to see if we converge
Let me integrate our curves so that i can increase our volume
If i were a function you would be my asymptote - i always tend towards you.
Your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.
I wish i was your problem set, because then i'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on the desk.
My love is like an exponential curve. it's unbounded
My love for you is like a fractal - it goes on forever.
My love for you is like the derivative of a concave up function because it is always increasing. we're going to assume this concave up function resembles x^2 so that slopes is actually increasing.
I hope you know set theory because i want to intersect and union you
You've got more curves than a triple integral.i wish you were sine squared theta and i was cosine squared theta so together we could be one

i suppose these are actually pick up lines
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venenecinema
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#4
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Adele's first 2 albums were apparently named after numbers which are important to her.
3.14159265 is due out later this year.
(Sickipedia, I won't take credit for that)
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mauvetard
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so there was a maths party and all the functions were jamming on the dance floor except one of course, e^x. So tan x and cos x go up to ask e^x to 'integrate' with them but e^x replies saying 'it's not possible :'('

Haha get it! (my maths teacher had more, but this got me!)
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RamsFanNo1
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#6
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(Original post by ak9779)
I don't get your joke
Well this could be a good little bit of maths revision for you haha. First research what the square root of -1 is. It is quite obvious what the square root of 64 is, link the two together and there's your joke. A rather good one!

Here is one:
Why did the cat fall off the roof?
Because it lost its Mu.

Not a great one, but one my maths teacher told me long ago when I did mechanics.
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whatacrapname
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Did you hear the one about the mathematician who had diarrhoea?
They worked it out with a pencil.
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Mechie
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(Original post by mauvetard)
so there was a party and all the function were jamming on the dance floor except one of course, e^x. So tan x and cos x go up to ask e^x to 'integrate' with them but e^x replies saying 'it's not possible :'('

Haha get it! (my maths teacher had more, but this got me!)
It is possible to integrate e^x... just it doesn't do anything.
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Intriguing Alias
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(Original post by ak9779)
I don't get your joke
i/8 so because I over-ate Sorry haha!

Great ones btw
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ak137
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#10
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Maths puns. Its the first sine of maddness!
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steph_v
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#11
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Why did the mathematical tree fall over?

It had no real roots...

Yes, tragic, I know. The Adele one is amazing!
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steph_v
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#12
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(Original post by davidmarsh01)
It is possible to integrate e^x... just it doesn't do anything.
The joke is supposed to be, "It doesn't matter, that won't change anything."
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venenecinema
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#13
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#13
What's yellow, normed and complete?
A Bananach space.
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Gallant92
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#14
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Why do mathematicians get Halloween and Christmas day mixed up?


because dec 25 = oct 31
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Meena373
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#15
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A precocious student and their teacher are doing some integration. The teacher says to the student, 'Okay, figure this out then. What's the integral of 1/cabin?'
The student thinks for a moment and then triuphantly says: 'Its a log-cabin!'
'Actually,' replies the teacher smugly, 'its a boat house. You forgot to add the c.'
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Simmytime
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#16
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#16
The square root of 69 is 8 something right? cos I've been trynna work it out..
69 = the 69 position
8 something = ate something... nuff said.
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[Insert_Username]
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#17
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Yep, I don't get any of them.
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moesy
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#18
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I suppose you can categorise these as mathematicians:

Statisticians do it......

Statisticians do it continuously but discretely.

Statisticians do it when it counts.

Statisticians do it with 95% confidence.

Statisticians do it with large numbers.

Statisticians do it with only a 5% chance of being rejected.

Statisticians do it with two-tail T tests.

Statisticians do it. After all, it's only normal.

Statisticians probably do it.

Statisticians do it with significance.

Probabilists do it on random walks.

Probabilists do it stochastically.

Statisticians do all the standard deviations.
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miike1234
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#19
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Parallel lines have so much in common, it's a shame they'll never meet.
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Imperial Blitz
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#20
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Making math jokes is the first sine if madness…

Damn beaten to it!
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