(Original post by heninacoop)
Currently, I'm in year 12. I have a very good friend from Malaysia who has decided that she wants to read Music at university. She isn't really that keen on the idea of a campus university, but her father insists on it even though he went to one of the smaller colleges that has subsequently become Imperial, so never actually experienced campus life. Ideally, she would like to be in a big city, but her father won't let her because he says that he isn't paying for her to go to university to party all night, but to work 24/7. He also thinks that the only universities she should even consider are Oxford and Cambridge, and doesn't seem to have grasped the fact that you can't just walk into Oxbridge with straight As She has been researching universities, and when she mentions places such as KCL, he just dismisses them as rubbish. I can understand that internationally, people have only really heard of Oxbridge, LSE and Imperial but with her course she can only apply to one of those. I don't really know what to say to her because I'm in a completely different situation - I'm a UK student, and my parents don't really mind what I do or where I go as long as I'm happy (to a certain extent). I was wondering if anybody has had similar experiences with their parents, and if they have any tips on how to try and get her father to understand the situation because she's getting really upset about it.
Although like you I've never been in that situation, one of my best friends (whose mother is Malaysian) has been. Her parents (well, mother - she's very much the head of the household) had decided that she was going to do dentistry, becuse it was the best paid, most secure job they could find, but was better hours than medicine. My friend wanted to do biochemistry, which for a long time was laughed at by her mother. It took a while, but she did a lot of research into biochemical-type careers, presented it to her mother over and over. Eventually, she came around to the idea of biochemistry (I think the mother is still hoping for Dentistry via graduate entry, but she's cooled down)
Your friend needs to be persistant in showing information about the courses at the places she likes and explaining why the courses are good, to show her parents that she's not basing choices on how easy it is to go clubbing.
Oh, and Oxford and Cambridge aren't campus universities - quite the opposite, in fact. Perhaps, if your friend wants to go to Durham or Lancaster (?) (which have a similar arrangement, I think), she could compare them to Oxbridge. In the end, it's her decision, and if she keeps badgering her parents, she should get somewhere. I gues it's very tough, I know that's what my friend found, but she'll get there.