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xXMessedUpXx
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#41
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#41
i have a really really sick joke

but i wont tell it
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Crimson Black
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#42
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#42
(Original post by xXMessedUpXx)
i have a really really sick joke

but i wont tell it
Likelyhood is, we all know it anyway. So don't bother.
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Mrs_F
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#43
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#43
(Original post by shopaholic_soph)
what is mary short for????????????????????????????? ???????






because she has little legs!
WTF?!? :confused:
It's: What is ET short for?

Because he has little legs!
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abc101
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#44
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#44
Two blind blokes walk into a bar.

A woman's having a bath when there's a knock at the bathroom door. "Who is it?" she calls. "It's the blind man. Can I come in?" She thinks for a second then shouts, "Alright." The guy walks in: "Nice tits. Where do you want the blind?"

Why did 6 run away from 7? Because 7 8 9.
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Cunning Linguist
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Ah Rass)
Two blind blokes walk into a bar.

A woman's having a bath when there's a knock at the bathroom door. "Who is it?" she calls. "It's the blind man. Can I come in?" She thinks for a second then shouts, "Alright." The guy walks in: "Nice tits. Where do you want the blind?"

Why did 6 run away from 7? Because 7 8 9.
that first one is goooooooooood!!

heard the second one from like 7/8 year olds yonks ago!
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Mrs_F
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#46
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#46
What does ET stand for?






Because he can't sit down...
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Cunning Linguist
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#47
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#47
(Original post by lynseyweth)
What does ET stand for?






Because he can't sit down...
ha ha (!) lol that was kinda funny...in an immature way!
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Mrs_F
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#48
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#48
(Original post by linguist786)
ha ha (!) lol that was kinda funny...in an immature way!
I'm in an immature mood tonight
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abc101
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#49
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#49
(Original post by lynseyweth)
What does ET stand for?






Because he can't sit down...
Haha! That's good!
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Cunning Linguist
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#50
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#50
ok this is quite long-ish, but quite funny:

An Irish man walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, "what'll you have?" The man says, "Give me three pints of Guinness please."
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they're gone. He then orders three more.

The bartender says, "Sir, I know you like them cold. You don't have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I'll bring you a fresh cold one."

The man says, "You don't understand. I have two brothers, one in Australia and one in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we'd still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we're drinking together.

The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week the man came in and ordered three beers. Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more.

The bartender said to him, "I know what your tradition is, and I'd just like to say that I'm sorry that one of your brothers died."

The man said, "Oh, me brothers are fine - I just quit drinking."
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Cunning Linguist
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#51
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#51
oh yeh i like this one too:

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The man said, "No dear."

The woman said, "I'm sure you would."

So the man said, "Okay, I would"

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"

And the man replied, "No, she's left handed."
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Cunning Linguist
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#52
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#52
oh yeh i like this one too:

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
The man said, "No dear."

The woman said, "I'm sure you would."

So the man said, "Okay, I would"

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"

And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."

Then the woman asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"

And the man replied, "No, she's left handed."
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lukeharmz
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#53
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#53
Ur mamma so fat she can tell the time in 2 different time zones.

something like that lol

--------------

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive!"
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that ....Number 1 - you have to be single and Number 2 - you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfils his fantasy with a passionate kiss. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."
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wacabac
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#54
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#54
Why was Jesus such a hit with the ladies?







Because he was hung like this *holds arms out in crucifix position*.
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SmuUsh
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#55
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#55
oooh a blonde joke ... Blonde and brunette walks through a park... brunette looks at the floor and says look at the poor dead bird...
Blonde looks in the sky and says where? :worm:
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wacabac
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#56
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#56
Why do Essex girls wear knickers?






To keep their ankles warm.
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Eco warrior
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#57
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#57
cat walk into a bar a say to the bar man! i'am look for the guy who shot my paw
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Cunning Linguist
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#58
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#58
(Original post by Vienna:))
oooh a blonde joke ... Blonde and brunette walks through a park... brunette looks at the floor and says look at the poor dead bird...
Blonde looks in the sky and says where? :worm:
very very good!! thats a GOOD blonde joke!
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Ferrus
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#59
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#59
A guy walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat.

He asks the cat to lend him some money but he refuses.

The barman seeing his gloomy face asked what was up.

He replied "This morning I had a genie come who gave me one wish. I wished for a tall bird with a tight pussy".

Poor joke... but it's all you're getting.
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wacabac
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#60
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#60
Three mice are in a bar, bragging about how they are harder than the other two. One mouse downs a shot of tequila and says, "I'm so hard, I find a mousetrap round the house each day, set it off, catch the bar in my teeth, do 100 sit-ups then make off with the cheese."

The second one downs two shots and says "I'm so hard, I go round the house collecting all the mouse poison, then I grind it up and put it in my coffee every morning so I get a buzz for the rest of the day."

The third one casually gets up to leave and says, "Sorry guys, gotta go home and rape the cat."
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