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Parents won't accept brothers girlfriend.

I'm looking for some advice here, any greatly appreciated. :smile:

My brother is 16 (doing AS levels) and is seeing a girl who is 14 (in year 10). My parents do not approve of this one bit, their main problem being the age gap. This I can partly understand. However, the fact that they aren't happy with it is ruining everything at home. The atmosphere is horrible, my mum doesn't want hardly anything to do with my brother ,and although I can see both points of view, it is stilll getting me down. I attempted to talk to my mum about it earlier and all I got was a barrel of abuse, and she went off on a yelling streak. Anything that my brother does wrong now is exaggerated and he gets into so much trouble.

It is really pissing me off now because everytime I come back home from uni, all it is, is shouting etc. I just wish that my parents would just accept what my brother is choosing to do and get on with , but they won't listen.

Anyone got any ideas on what I can do?

Thanks.

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Reply 1

Indus1986

She is 14, still a child in her parents eyes and in your mothers eyes too. This isn't going to last anyway, he needs to see that.

Reply 2

sexysax

Her parents are fine with it, they like my brother. It is my parents that have the problem with it.

Reply 3

Catski

To be honest with you, I'm not seeing why they're so up-in-arms about it either. Even given a couple of years difference in age, I'd quote the old line that girls are ahead in emotional maturity anyway. As long as your brother realises that a physical relationship will be difficult and/or illegal until she reaches 16, there's no reason why they shouldn't be together.

Reply 4

username9303

I'd say your parents were being seriously childish about the whole thing. I was seeing a 14 year old when i was 17 and my parents didnt mind at all, but I think thats because theres a big age gap between my mum and dad and they know what its like. I'd just leave your brother to be happy, if your parents want to be tw*ts about it then just let them be.

Reply 5

Icy Ghost

Wow this sounds like me. When I was 14, my bf was 16 and my parents were always shouting at me because of him, and they didn't trust him, but strangely enough we're still going out at the moment, (I'm 16 now) but to say that it won't last may not be entirely true because him and I kept in contact over MSN, meeting up sometimes during the week, and now we're still together, so if they really do like each other, it won't be a good idea to seperate them if they're really determined. I'm not sure what your parents are like, but if they're not too strict, I suppose they may come around in time... If they're in love or anything, I suppose this won't be too much of a problem when your bro goes to uni...
I think you should just talk to your bro about it... Is it really worth making your family angry and getting you pissed because of it, just to go out with this girl? If he really feels strongly about this, I guess there's not much you can do...
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful :redface:

Reply 6

sexysax

My brother understands all that, and my mum has made sure of it. When I approached the subject before my mum said well what if she makes something up blah blah and then he could get into serious trouble. I really do not think this girl would do anything like that, nor do I believe my brother would do anything until she was 16.

That is impossible for my parents to understand that though.

--------------

Icy Ghost - My parents don't let him on the computer to use MSN, they hate any of us using it, they don't let him out to see her, they've now stopped them from ringing each other. He can only really see her in school. They've now refused to take him to work and pick him up so he cycles, so he leaves slightly earlier so he stops off at hers on the way. If they found out he would be in so much trouble.

Reply 7

Zerforax

Do your parents have an age gap? throw that in their face if there is :biggrin:

Reply 8

Icy Ghost

I think the most you can do now is just wait... He can either carry on, not get caught and he may even break up with her later, or he may just carry on seeing her until he goes to uni, or he can get caught and get into trouble, which may cause him to break up with her anyway. But I don't think there's much else you can do, it's his decision and I guess it's up to him really what happens. Do you think your parents are no way going to accept his girlfriend?

Reply 9

Catski

Good idea with the parental age gap.
My dad is seven years older than my mum - he was a mustachioed Army officer and she had just finished her nurse's training! That is way more weird/wrong that a two-year gap at 16, to my mind.

Reply 10

papz_007

2 years aint a big gap !!!

if you think about it in another way...thats likes sayin a 33 year old cant go out with a 31 year old!! stupid

parents are being a bit childish about it

Reply 11

sexysax

There is 2 years between them. I think part of the problem might be that my mum has been divorced twice before, and is now married again and we live with my step-dad. Perhaps this has made her a bit insecure about my brothers relationship. I don't know... :confused:

She's never been one to like us having girlfriend/boyfriend etc, she thinks we don't have time for it and that we should be studying. If I came back from uni saying I'd got a boyfriend they might eventually accept it after giving me a good talking to, they'd also probably take the mick, they often do that.

I get down quite a bit, because I am 18 and at uni now and they still try to protect me more than any of my friends parents. Now my brother is getting more of it as well.

Argh.

Reply 12

sexysax

Icy Ghost

Do you think your parents are no way going to accept his girlfriend?

I can't see it no. They'll probably do all they can to split them up. I hope they do last, so I can see how my parents act when she is 16 and my bro 18, but that is 2 years away.

Reply 13

Icy Ghost

Well, good luck to them I hope they'll last together and prove your parents wrong !

Thanks.

Tell em its better that he has one girl rather than going round sleeping with any he can get his hands on!! That will soon change their tune!! lol!!

Personally I can't see what the problem is, she is probably more mature than he is!!

Reply 16

pggirl

16 and 14 is perfect!! ur parents can be worried if she were 12!!

Reply 17

ciara

I reeeally don't see the problem either...I had a 17 y.o. boyfriend from my 15th birthday onwards and it actually lasted over a year. Maybe encourage your parents to speak to the girlfriend's parents, and any other parents in fact - it might reassure them about the normality of this sort of age gap.

Cxx

Reply 18

ehtical

did you know that a girl is 5 years biologically mature than a boy. Hence any age difference between 0-5 years is healthy.

Reply 19

Duck and Cover

My best friend (16 - year 12) is going out with a 13 year old (year 9). The girl's parents are okay with it but my friend's parents are not. You would think it would be the other way around :eek: