Feelings of inferiority

I'd be grateful for any (helpful!) comments on the way I'm feeling at the moment. I met a boy at uni in freshers week and I've spent a lot of time with him since then. Since our second week he has been telling me how much he likes me and asking me to be his girlfriend but I've said no cos I wanted to get to know him better (and that is the truth, I'm not just giving him the "I just want to be friends" line). Well 12 weeks down the line we have got even closer and have kissed a few times and we've been texting and e-mailing loads to each other now we are home, and a couple of days ago I said I would be his girlfriend and he said that was the best Xmas pressie he has ever had (yeah, he is really sweet!). I'm really happy about this cos I've realised how much I like him, but the thing that is bothering me is that I've realised in the last week from things he has said that his family is pretty wealthy, and mine isn't, and I'm starting to feel really inferior. Now I know this is being really shallow, and he has only asked me to go out with him, not marry him (lol!), but I can't stop feeling this way and I'm starting to think that maybe I should just walk away from it now before anything gets started. I'd be really grateful for advice, spesh if anyone has been in a similar situation. Thanks. x

Reply 1

spoon1

How is that a problem? You really like each other, and just because his family is more wealthy doesn't mean you shouldn't be together! He sounds really sweet and if that fact that you are poorer than him bothers him (which it shouldn't!) then maybe he's not worth it. But from what you've written it sounds like it hasn't even crossed his mind, so really you've got nothing to worry about. Walking away now would be silly!

Reply 2

always + forever

don't be silly! :p:

my boyfriend's family is far far wealthier than mine, and we get along fine! being serious, it is something that occasionally bothers me - like I can never buy him anything nicer than his parents could :frown:

- but it's not a big problem.

Reply 3

magna cum laude

From what you have said he has done nothing at all to indicate looks down upon you because you are "poor". That seems to be a problem you have created entirely yourself. You are going to meet people much wealthier than you all your life, at university, at your job etc etc. Are you always going to shy away from these people because you feel inferior to them? This is something you will have to get used to, a friendship or relationship with someone wealthier can always be a good thing; they can open doors to lots of interesting people and help you "network", which is important in the careers market.
As for your relationship, you should try it out. Nothing is ever certain and many relationships eventually break up, but you will not know whether you are prefect for each other if you do not give it a try.
Do not let these feelings seep into the relationship, as this will lead to ruin. I would advise talking to him about this issue, maybe you can say something like "what do you think your parents would think". If you do not think you can talk to him about this issue, in which you seek the consult of strangers, then you are not ready for a relationship with him.

Reply 4

SciFi25

Love can break all barriers if you just let it!! He is not with you out of pity!! He is with you cause he likes you!! Wealthy families mean nothing, my familly is considered wealthy but I am probably one of the poorest people in the country, I have no money of my own!!! lol!! But that doesn't stop me loving my girlfriend more than life itself!

Reply 5

puppy

You want to dump him cos he's rich? Am I missing something?

And why feel inferior anyway- since when did having more money make people better than you? That makes you poorer than him, not inferior

Reply 6

miss_buttercup

please do not let money come between you and the guy you like! i have the opposite problem in that my bf of almost 3 years comes from a realy poor family whereas my family are really wealthy. i know hes sometimes felt how you do but i can assure you that i have felt just as scared that he'll think my family are snobs (and to be fair some are!). hes prob just a nervous but def dont walk away now, you liked him loads before you knew how wealthy or not he is - im sure this knowledge wont change n e thing!
good luck hun x

Reply 7

hugatree

I don't see the problem. :confused:

My bf's family are wealthier than ours too but that was never even a topic of discussion. It wouldn't matter to anyone in the family, it's not like they'd "lower themselves to your level" or sth, if that's what you're worried about.