Turn on thread page Beta

My dad doesn't care - who else has a useless parent/s? watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He never calls, he works all hours and doesn't know a thing about me and my sisters. My mum is effectively a singe parent. He has his own interests, and family is not one of them. He is a workaholic and doesn't ever come home. He argues with my mum if she asks him to take her out or do something together. They haven't done anything together in over a decade. He hasn't called me since last year. When I call he half heartedly talks to me. We have brought it up with him but he shrugs it off and carries on ignoring us. He basically isn't a family man and never will. My mum said today she regrets marrying him - my sister was crying because she wanted both of them to go to the uni open day with her but he said he can't so my mum is going alone.
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    My dad should never have had kids so young. My parents broke up, we saw him every weekend (well not my brother who never got on with him) but his heart wasn't in it. Pretty much the visits became less frequent - he never called, didn't know our ages, got the dates of our birthdays wrong. I haven't seen him in nearly a year.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He never calls, he works all hours and doesn't know a thing about me and my sisters. My mum is effectively a singe parent. He has his own interests, and family is not one of them. He is a workaholic and doesn't ever come home. He argues with my mum if she asks him to take her out or do something together. They haven't done anything together in over a decade. He hasn't called me since last year. When I call he half heartedly talks to me. We have brought it up with him but he shrugs it off and carries on ignoring us. He basically isn't a family man and never will. My mum said today she regrets marrying him - my sister was crying because she wanted both of them to go to the uni open day with her but he said he can't so my mum is going alone.
    As much as he sounds emotionally detached, do any of you appreciate that he works so hard to feed and shelter you? maybe just maybe it works both ways and he cant be that useless because hes out there working hard for his family!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    That really sucks.

    On the plus side, It's better then a dad who ran off and doesn't contribute financially, surely?

    Use him for money, he deserves it.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    As much as he sounds emotionally detached, do any of you appreciate that he works so hard to feed and shelter you? maybe just maybe it works both ways and he cant be that useless because hes out there working hard for his family!
    Yes we do. But he is working hard because he enjoys working or because he hates home, I don't think he does it because he loves us. I mean he gives us money (he is a doctor) but I know for a fact he doesn't care about us.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by HandsomeBWonderful)
    That really sucks.

    On the plus side, It's better then a dad who ran off and doesn't contribute financially, surely?

    Use him for money, he deserves it.
    lol I actually do think of it like that. I get so sad when I see fathers with their children, I'll admit jealous. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have a normal father, who makes convo with me, calls me and does stuff with us. He tries to spend as little time as possible with us and when he is he is just on his phone checking emails or laughing at provate jokes with himself, he is a very private person,
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    No offence, but why is your mum still with him?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Tw1x)
    My dad should never have had kids so young. My parents broke up, we saw him every weekend (well not my brother who never got on with him) but his heart wasn't in it. Pretty much the visits became less frequent - he never called, didn't know our ages, got the dates of our birthdays wrong. I haven't seen him in nearly a year.
    I feel for you. My dad should never have had kids at all. I just don't think he wanted girls, maybe he would have been happier with a son? Either way, same here, never calls, barely knows our birthdays, doesn't even care.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by takethyfacehence)
    No offence, but why is your mum still with him?
    She's Asian, divorce is not the done thing. My younger sister is still at home and she tries to hold things together for her. Divorce is not even a question really. But I know for a fact I would've left a long time ago. He is like a brick wall.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by takethyfacehence)
    No offence, but why is your mum still with him?
    love is blind, financial security? :confused:
    Offline

    2
    Both my parents are pathetic to be honest. FIVE kids and they dont really care about any of us. We were basically slaves and punch bags for them. Now im at uni I very rarely speak to them at all.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol I actually do think of it like that. I get so sad when I see fathers with their children, I'll admit jealous. I can't imagine what it must feel like to have a normal father, who makes convo with me, calls me and does stuff with us. He tries to spend as little time as possible with us and when he is he is just on his phone checking emails or laughing at provate jokes with himself, he is a very private person,
    Aww, it's a real shame he doesn't even at least try to make the effort. People that are consumed with work are so boring... a bit of time and care towards your family can't be too hard...
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes we do. But he is working hard because he enjoys working or because he hates home, I don't think he does it because he loves us. I mean he gives us money (he is a doctor) but I know for a fact he doesn't care about us.
    i suppose if you've tried talking and reasoning with him, and if he works so much maybe he has another woman on the side:confused:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    i suppose if you've tried talking and reasoning with him, and if he works so much maybe he has another woman on the side:confused:
    I know he has been exchanging emails with a work colleague - flirtatious, talking about his desires, talking about meeting her in a hotel. He is not happy with my mum, he never loved her, he just married her for convenience, to have someone to cook and clean after him.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know he has been exchanging emails with a work colleague - flirtatious, talking about his desires, talking about meeting her in a hotel. He is not happy with my mum, he never loved her, he just married her for convenience, to have someone to cook and clean after him.
    there you go then, chances are he's getting his end off somewhere else, the sooner your mother does something about it the better for her self esteem and the family's happiness

    Ps: in regards to my first comment i just wanted to put both sides of the argument out there, because he is not a complete waste, as he's out there working hard (presumably sometimes)
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by emeritus2011)
    there you go then, chances are he's getting his end off somewhere else, the sooner your mother does something about it the better for her self esteem and the family's happiness

    Ps: in regards to my first comment i just wanted to put both sides of the argument out there, because he is not a complete waste, as he's out there working hard (presumably sometimes)
    she doesn't know and I will never tell her. It will destroy our family. I am just hoping it will never come to light.
    Offline

    7
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she doesn't know and I will never tell her. It will destroy our family. I am just hoping it will never come to light.
    i can immagine the situation you're in as id like to think i'd tell my mum but im not really sure if i'd have the heart to, only other way is tell your dad you know what he's up to and his only option is start being commited to his wife and family or leave with his "side line ho" or eventually you will tell your mum..
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Haven't seen my dad since i was 6, i'm 18 now
    I send him father's day emails etc he doesn't answer
    So now I just don't bother.
    He's never met my sister, who he conceived.
    So, just don't care anymore.
    Offline

    8
    ReputationRep:
    My parents are divorced so I don't see my dad that often. I wouldn't call him useless but he just isn't very paternal (is that even a word? ). I just feel like my upper secondary school teachers know me even better. I don't like to share things if I don't trust someone but when I ever talk to him, he doesn't really listen. He does this 'guy thing' that he pretends that he is listening but in reality he is concentrating to something else. He doesn't really seem to remember anything I have ever said, he can't even remember my age sometimes...

    I don't even know what it's like to have father-daughter relationship because I honestly have no feelings about this whole relationship. He never asks me anything so he pretty much doesn't know anything about me. My graduation party was quite sad because of this. All the food was something I truly dislike, all the flowers were in that one colour I really hate and well, the whole party was nothing like me. The thing is that nobody asked me what I wanted or even liked. I sound like a whining brat but I just sometimes find it sad that my own parent doesn't show any interest in me.

    But I guess you can't always get what you want...
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    yeah he left us not long after i was born to go back to his actual wife and kids in another country.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 12, 2018
Poll
Who is most responsible for your success at university

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.