People don't understand what I'm saying? Watch

dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Hi, this is kind of embarrassing, and I'm guessing there will be some replies which just take the **** out of this post, but I really appreciate everyone who tries to help.

I get a lot of people asking me to repeat what I've just said, or saying 'what?' to me when I talk to them. It was mostly just my nan at first, and I blamed it on her hearing :rolleyes: , but recently a few more people are doing the same. My Mum tells me that I speak to fast, and I mumble a lot, even though to me, I'm speaking clearly, and opening my mouth more as I speak just feels weird and unnatural.

It's hard to explain, but I'm wondering if anyone else is like this, and whether you think I will grow out of it in the future (I'm almost 16 now), or whether I have to - I know it sounds stupid - 'learn how to speak properly'.

You may be thinking after reading this that my speaking terrible, but I wouldn't say that it is extremely bad, but it just makes me conscious about it, and then it makes me shy about talking to new people. I'm starting college in September, and I want to be able to make new friends by approaching them and knowing that they won't find me weird because they can't even understand what I'm saying.

Thanks for reading - and thanks in advance for any help!
0
reply
Wild_Precious_Life
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
Do you feel anxious when speaking to others? If it is nerves, maybe you would benefit from taking a few deep breaths now and then. Don't feel nervous if people ask you to repeat things, just laugh it off and make a light hearted joke of it, then you'll feel more relaxed too and this will no doubt help with your speech.
1
reply
OneStepAtaTime
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#3
Report 7 years ago
#3
I'm sorry what?

No, on a serious note, I know someone that's in exactly the same boat, but you just gotta try to enunciate more and hopefully even the fact that you mumble will be overridden. She finds it really difficult to raise her voice to a louder pitch but she makes sure to pronounce her letters better to make it a bit clearer and has learnt to talk a tad slower (until she gets superexcited and then she's a lost cause). So don't worry so much, try to consciously pronounce stuff slower and fuller if that makes sense and you'll probably grow out of it.
0
reply
SugarPuffs
Badges: 5
Rep:
?
#4
Report 7 years ago
#4
You might be talking a little too fast or something? practice your pronunciation on words as well :yy:
0
reply
goodnightvienna
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#5
Report 7 years ago
#5
xD i speak too fast when i'm nervous or excited. plus i get a weird accent too.

the thing that works for me (when i remember) is to take a slow breath before you start speaking. it calms you down (and helps you avoid saying bull**** too)
0
reply
kat2pult
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 7 years ago
#6
I have this too. I was born with glue ear and couldn't hear very much until I was about 6. I had some elocution lessons when I was 10 and did Grade 1 at LAMDA but I still get a range of reactions to my voice, even now (I'm 21 by the way). Some people have a lot of difficulty understanding me; mainly my mum but she's deaf in 1 ear. However I've also have many people telling me I speak nicely, even being told I have 'a voice for radio' and 'a pleasant telephone manner'. I do get a lot of people asking me to repeat myself though, and I understand that it does knock your confidence.

I think, like you, I speak too fast at times, and I think I'm speaking loudly or at a normal level but I'm not.

Try speaking slower and more loudly, even if you think you're being really loud, you probably aren't. Also, ask your teachers for some comments about how they find your voice.
2
reply
dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#7
(Original post by Wild_Precious_Life)
Do you feel anxious when speaking to others? If it is nerves, maybe you would benefit from taking a few deep breaths now and then. Don't feel nervous if people ask you to repeat things, just laugh it off and make a light hearted joke of it, then you'll feel more relaxed too and this will no doubt help with your speech.
Sometimes I do, but I don't really think it's that, as I'm definitely not anxious when talking to my mum, but she still cannot understand me sometimes.
Thanks for the advice though :-)


(Original post by OneStepAtaTime)
I'm sorry what?

No, on a serious note, I know someone that's in exactly the same boat, but you just gotta try to enunciate more and hopefully even the fact that you mumble will be overridden. She finds it really difficult to raise her voice to a louder pitch but she makes sure to pronounce her letters better to make it a bit clearer and has learnt to talk a tad slower (until she gets superexcited and then she's a lost cause). So don't worry so much, try to consciously pronounce stuff slower and fuller if that makes sense and you'll probably grow out of it.
Haha, thanks.
Yeah that's the same as me in some way. I can't really speak loudly because my voice just goes high - due to my voice breaking etc.
So being in a place that is loud is just impossible for me to shout, especially when there is loud music playing AND people talking!
0
reply
mew_156
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#8
Report 7 years ago
#8
Did you have grommets as a child? I knew someone whose speaking was affected by having poor hearing as a child and would often mumble. Just take your time,, articulate your words and take a deep breath and slow down if you start getting nervous.
0
reply
dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#9
(Original post by kat2pult)
I have this too. I was born with glue ear and couldn't hear very much until I was about 6. I had some elocution lessons when I was 10 and did Grade 1 at LAMDA but I still get a range of reactions to my voice, even now (I'm 21 by the way). Some people have a lot of difficulty understanding me; mainly my mum but she's deaf in 1 ear. However I've also have many people telling me I speak nicely, even being told I have 'a voice for radio' and 'a pleasant telephone manner'. I do get a lot of people asking me to repeat myself though, and I understand that it does knock your confidence.

I think, like you, I speak too fast at times, and I think I'm speaking loudly or at a normal level but I'm not.

Try speaking slower and more loudly, even if you think you're being really loud, you probably aren't. Also, ask your teachers for some comments about how they find your voice.
That's how I am different. I don't like my voice at all, and that is probably another reason why I lack confidence when talking to people. But yeah, I'll give it a go at talking slower, and hopefully I'll get better as tim goes on. Thanks for your reply, it helped a lot!

(Original post by Heartbroken9)
Wild Precious, I was expecting a pun, you've let us down! Quit with the nonsense above, lol.

Anyway as for the post maybe you should go to speech therapy? Try airing your views to someone who deals with these problems on a regular basis I am sure they would give you techniques to improve your confidence when speaking.
I don't think I would be ready to go to therapy just yet. I don't think it is THAT bad, but if it was to get worse I may consider it. I just would feel awkward going to therapy at this point.
0
reply
Dannnn
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#10
Report 7 years ago
#10
Just sounds like nerves take over when you talk. Some people will rush to get things out or others won't say anything at all.

I used to be like this, it was definitely a confidence issue for me, I mumbled a lot and my sentences were very jumbled. You just need to relax, take deep breaths as much as possible and think about what you're going to say.
0
reply
dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#11
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#11
(Original post by Dannnn)
Just sounds like nerves take over when you talk. Some people will rush to get things out or others won't say anything at all.

I used to be like this, it was definitely a confidence issue for me, I mumbled a lot and my sentences were very jumbled. You just need to relax, take deep breaths as much as possible and think about what you're going to say.
Yeah that's the exact same as me. So did you just grow out of it? Or did you have to control it yourself?
0
reply
batboy113
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#12
Report 7 years ago
#12
Maybe you mumble? Maybe you aren't talking loud enough? I get this said to me too btw....
0
reply
kerily
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#13
Report 7 years ago
#13
I talk incredibly fast and people apparently have problems understanding me :emo:

It's not even nerves - it's just that when I think I'm talking slowly, I actually talk really quickly. I have no idea how to alter it either.
0
reply
dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#14
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#14
(Original post by batboy113)
Maybe you mumble? Maybe you aren't talking loud enough? I get this said to me too btw....
Yeah I apparently do mumble, and I find it hard to talk loudly because my voice goes high pitched because of 'my hormones' lol, and that's even more embarrassing!
0
reply
Boogaloo_Shrimp
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#15
Report 7 years ago
#15
(Original post by kerily)
I talk incredibly fast and people apparently have problems understanding me :emo:

It's not even nerves - it's just that when I think I'm talking slowly, I actually talk really quickly. I have no idea how to alter it either.
story of my life.
0
reply
whyumadtho
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#16
Report 7 years ago
#16
I have exactly the same problem... It's made even worse by having a very deep voice. :erm:

Some people understand me perfectly well and others always ask me to repeat myself. Too many mixed messages!
0
reply
xoxAngel_Kxox
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#17
Report 7 years ago
#17
Have you ever tried recording yourself speaking? Set your phone to record say, ten minutes of just normal conversation with your family, and then listen back to see how you speak. If you make a conscious effort to speak more slowly and clearly, it will eventually become habit like anything else.
0
reply
orca92
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#18
Report 7 years ago
#18
I get this at university. I live in Newcastle so have a slight geordie accent; and those in London (especially the international students) don't really understand it. It's sometimes a bit annoying, i have one friend who just doesn't get anything i say; slight exaggeration i guess, but yeah, he finds it hard to understand.
0
reply
dannyr
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#19
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#19
(Original post by xoxAngel_Kxox)
Have you ever tried recording yourself speaking? Set your phone to record say, ten minutes of just normal conversation with your family, and then listen back to see how you speak. If you make a conscious effort to speak more slowly and clearly, it will eventually become habit like anything else.
Thanks for your reply, that's a really good idea, and I don't know why I didn't think of it haha.
I've tried just recording me speaking on my own, but I tend to speak different when 'talking to myself' than to other people. So I'll definitely try that. Thanks!
0
reply
the bear
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#20
Report 7 years ago
#20
i speak with a "posh" accent... people who speak estuary english/mockney in shops & so on find it hard to understand my received pronunciation.

bear

:badger:
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How has 2019 been so far?

Amazing!!! (39)
5.71%
Fairly positive (227)
33.24%
Just another year... (271)
39.68%
Is it 2020 yet? (146)
21.38%

Watched Threads

View All