Right, for the last 7 months have been going out with a girl which I met on another student forum... we had 4 amazing months together, basically only seeing each other once a week when we met up/I went and drove down to her house.. we live about 100 miles apart but are at the same university.
However, we are in the same halls at uni and basically are within a minute of each other. Since being at uni I went through a very weird patch of just wanting to see her ALL the time, I don't know why, i never felt like this at home, but I just felt just because I could go and see that i HAD to... this got alot worse, if i'd come back from a night out and see her light on I'd always have to go up and see her...
Things have got awful, she has two main-best friends, both are lads and she is very close with them... I have developed an awful jealousy, stemming from a night when lad#1 went to her room at 1am and stayed in her room till 5:30am. I dont know why, i really didnt like it and i know ive been very stupid, I got very upset when she told me (yeah, at least she told me!) but from this time on, in my head my mind has been making things up and making me see things.... she never introduced me to either of the lads, and did it basically when i saw them all out and went and did it myself. I felt she felt embarrased by me... i cant see why. I introduced her to my friends .. male and female, and things were fine.
One night, she txt me saying she was coming over to my room... this was at 9:30 at evening... waiting for 2 hours, but no sign..so i tried phoning her/texting her but no answer... she was at lad#2's room so decided to go make sure she was there and ok.. anyways, my mate in the same block as me told me which room he was in, so went and knocked on the door, they told me to come in, when i did she was lying in his bed with him on it too (but not in the covers)... this made me upset again and angry...
another main point being, she always used to check my txts as a girl who she thought fancied me had been txting me and she wanting to check nothing was going on... i found it fine, i liked it. she used to let me look at her texts... as soon as we got to uni, and she got in with other lads, she stopped letting me read her texts which made me suspicious.
my main problem is ive lost her trust as shes lyed to me on numerous occasions (one being she said she'd gone to a nearby city with her bro in his car... when actually she left the used train tickets in my room)... so i m guessing she went with someone else...
im very emotional, and ive seem to put her upon a pedestal in my life... this led me to breakdown before christmas, she was in my room i accused her of stuff she would never do, and got very angry and shouted alot and got aggressive (hitting wall et al). i know im probably the usual paranoid/jealous ********. but i want to change, but i just dont know how i can trust her, every moment im thinking about her and my mind will start thinking about 'bad' things... this'll lead to me getting a rush of adrenaline and usually accusing her or her male friends of doing stuff...
i dont want it to be like this, i love her to bits, and she loves me too (i k now she does as most girls would have left ages ago...)...
I really want someone on here to try and suggest some things for me...
sorry for rambling!
Rw