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Ex putting me down
Hey
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
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I know a serbian who can "settle" these things for around £2000. Your ex wont be bothering you no more.
I never intend to sleep with him. It is something to do with my own insecurities. I am insecure by the fact he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. ( it sounds worse than it is, it simply was because we started fighting when our lives took differnt paths, he started first year uni and didnt have time to see me anymore ). I think that when i see him and he cuddles into me and gets close i simply cant resist. Its because im insecure that he wouldnt want me, and when he does it seems great. I dont want to get back together with him, so im not doing it for hope he'll want me back. I dont want that. But i think i want him to regret things slightly and to find me amazing.
Anonymous
Hey
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
First of all, hes saying that because hes jealous of how you look and is trying to make you feel like **** and damage your confidence so much that you dont go and chat up anyone else.
Its his tactics to be able to keep sleeping with you whenever he wants.
Just dont sleep with him in future. : )
First things first, stop sleeping with him, you're no longer with him, so don't do it. If you can't resist him, just don't see him, don't let him get close enough for you to crumble at his feet, i know that if i saw my ex now i wouldn't be able to resist him, so i don't agree to meet up with him. Easy as that. People tell you you are good looking, believe them, they wouldn't say it if i wasn't true. In my own opinion i believe he is unsure of his feelings about the break up. He is sleeping with you cos part of him still wants you, but he puts you down to convince himself that he did the right thing in breaking up, but in the process he is messing with your head and that is unfair. Move on, deliberately, go out of your way to avoid seeing him. Secondly build up your confidence do something to make you feel sexy, go out on the town (not necessarily on the pull) with your mates, buy some new underwear (always works for me). Lastly make sure you have him completely out of your system, this is done in different ways for different people, myself, i cried for hours, crying doesnlt work for everyone, but you must get him out of your system somehow otherwise you won't be able to properly move on and forget about him.
He has you right where he wants you. He no longer has to commit to you but at the same time can sleep with you seemingly quite easily - as you say down to your own insecurities. It's now apparant he's taken to criticising you openly, but I dunno if he's said anything else so it may have been a comment that came out all wrong.
Still, as a matter of self respect, do not sleep with him and I would break off contact with him for a month or two and may be try to get a crush on someone else. It is not healthy to maintain a sexual relationship with someone you've broken up with, it makes things confused and messy for you, and he's just getting his kicks for free.
Still, as a matter of self respect, do not sleep with him and I would break off contact with him for a month or two and may be try to get a crush on someone else. It is not healthy to maintain a sexual relationship with someone you've broken up with, it makes things confused and messy for you, and he's just getting his kicks for free.
Anonymous
I never intend to sleep with him. It is something to do with my own insecurities. I am insecure by the fact he no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me. ( it sounds worse than it is, it simply was because we started fighting when our lives took differnt paths, he started first year uni and didnt have time to see me anymore ). I think that when i see him and he cuddles into me and gets close i simply cant resist. Its because im insecure that he wouldnt want me, and when he does it seems great. I dont want to get back together with him, so im not doing it for hope he'll want me back. I dont want that. But i think i want him to regret things slightly and to find me amazing.
you sound like you've got things pretty figured out ... I know it's hard to separate yourself from someone you still want to impress, but you do realize that your insecurities are the root of the problem. Making a clean break is really the only way to move on.
But my main problem there is I really do want to stay friends with him. So breaking contact is hard. This is because we were friends a long time before we got together, i never really was attracted to him until i suddenly fell for him by chance. I remember all the reasons we were close before. He's someone I can rely on and always turn to if I'm in trouble. It makes me think the relationship has spoiled it all (even though it was the most amazing thing at the time). I dont wanna loose a friendship because i know he does still care about me, even though it is in differnt ways now. How can i do this without my head becomming messed up? I know that he does want to maintain a friendship too, but i think he is still very attracted to me physically which is why he becomes so sexual when we're alone. He is not like most guys, and stays good friends with most of his ex's. I still want to stay friends with him, but how do i do it without me being messed up by his feelings??
Thanks so much for all the great advice so far!!!
Thanks so much for all the great advice so far!!!
Anonymous
But my main problem there is I really do want to stay friends with him. So breaking contact is hard. This is because we were friends a long time before we got together, i never really was attracted to him until i suddenly fell for him by chance. I remember all the reasons we were close before. He's someone I can rely on and always turn to if I'm in trouble. It makes me think the relationship has spoiled it all (even though it was the most amazing thing at the time). I dont wanna loose a friendship because i know he does still care about me, even though it is in differnt ways now. How can i do this without my head becomming messed up? I know that he does want to maintain a friendship too, but i think he is still very attracted to me physically which is why he becomes so sexual when we're alone. He is not like most guys, and stays good friends with most of his ex's. I still want to stay friends with him, but how do i do it without me being messed up by his feelings??
Thanks so much for all the great advice so far!!!
Thanks so much for all the great advice so far!!!
you can only really be friends with someone you really cared about, after a long period of no contact, it'll be easier when the raw feelings have subsided, for now no contact is best honestly.
Its newyears eve this weekend, you should goto the sales, buy something nice and see what attention you recieve this weekend. might help you to forget for a bit.
If he's still your friend why does he always criticize you and put you down? You may want to remain friends but does he? Does he just see you as someone he can easily sleep with?
You say he stays friends with all his exes. Does that mean he sleeps with them too?
As others have said, he seems like a filthy character. Don't give in to him. He doesn't even seem to be worth your friendship, let alone anything else.
It's not his fault for doing it as much as your fault for letting it happen.
As others have said, he seems like a filthy character. Don't give in to him. He doesn't even seem to be worth your friendship, let alone anything else.
It's not his fault for doing it as much as your fault for letting it happen.
Anonymous
Hey
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
This story could become long and confusing, so i will just try to condense it to what is bothering me at the moment. Basically, my boyfriend split with me a few months ago and we've stayed friends. We still sleep together sometimes, which he initiates. At the time it makes me happy, but i dont know if its just causing me more confusion in the long run.
Anyway, it just really bugs me that he still does this, he always puts me down about everything. I got new boots for my xmas and when we were out the other night i had them on with a quite short skirt, he didnt mention anything about my looks then. But today i saw him in town and i was wearing the boots with jeans rolled up. He delibrately made a comment, sarcastically sayin he loved the rolled up jeans. I knew from the fact he said it that he was taking the piss. I confronted him about it on msn and he just said he wasnt saying i was looking 'a mess' he just doesnt like the boots and doesnt like girls wearing them like that.
It basically made me feel ****. He went out of his way to say something. Even if he didnt like my outfit, he didnt need to make comment on it. Especially since we're not even going out anymore. People tell me im a good looking girl, but right now im failing to beleive it. And the fact he is going out of his way to put me down simply on the way i look makes me feel awful.
Why does he bother??? Im not his girlfriend anymore so he doesnt need to worry. And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not? Am i taking an off-hand comment to heart or do i have every right to be annoyed/sad by this comment??
Nope it doesnt.
Anonymous
And he still sleeps with me which implies he is still attracted to me, does it not?
Honey, all this implies is that you have an available orifice. Men are like that.
If he always puts you down why do you want to be friends with him still ? It seems he is just using you for sex, which might explain the reasons he is still friends with his other exes.
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