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The problem with university LGBT societies

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To be perfectly honest, a straight guy might get hit in the face if they hit on the wrong person. This idea that gays need a special club or bar or society to help them pull is a bit silly. We all take a chance when approaching someone new. Not being liked because of your sex is essentially the same thing as not being liked because you're fat or have the wrong length of hair. Obviously, there is an element of danger in hitting on a guy in a normal bar, as there is a chance he is a homophobe, but **** happens. Many girls use the "I'm a lesbian" as an excuse to avoid responding to a guy; so technically I don't even know if the girl I'm approaching is straight or bi.

One of the many reasons homophobia exists is because homosexuals claim they're just like everyone else but then willingly segregate themselves, suggesting that they are actually different. Whilst I agree that the LGBT needs to exist, it's also a hinderance. Of course there are other reasons, and until those disappear the LGBT will be needed, but after that, if it continues to exist, it will be detrimental.

As genderfluid and a cross-dresser, I don't go to the LGBT because it essentially throws people of utterly different interests together for one reason: sexuality. Transgender folk just got tacked on because we are freaks and homosexuals and bisexuals are more accepting (and the tricking issue of transgender sexuality). Moreover, it really emphasises the whole sex aspect of the society and that puts me off. I don't want to play silly games involving admitting to things I've done with males or females. I have nothing in common with the people in the LGBT and it's telling when I go there.

LGBT isn't about sexuality as such. It uses the sexuality as a smokescreen, but it's more often than not about the "gay lifestyle" which is utterly different from the sexuality. One can live the gay lifestyle and not be gay at all. I really don't fit into that culture, despite my strange tendencies. Thus, the LGBT will not appeal to the people who are homosexual but have no interest in this lifestyle until they change and they can't do that, really.

As for the activism part, well that comes with being homosexual, unfortunately. There's still a lot of inequality for homosexuals and transgendered people. The LGBT is the rallying point and was originally formed with that in mind. Without the LGBT, so man gains would never have been got.

So you don't think it's a good idea for gay people to have nights when 90%-100% of the people in the bar are gay, so they can approach anyone - but just nights when like 3 people out 100 are gay, and you don't even know who they are so you end up alone while your straight mates are with someone?

Reply 21

Hylean

Original post by Kabloomybuzz

Yes... its called simply "society"

That analogy is flawed. Straights don't have their own specific culture based around their sexuality. Whilst there are "straight bars", they are run by and for homophobes. Otherwise, bars are not actually designated for straights, unlike gay bars. There is no Straight Society, no Straight Pride, etc.

Obviously, there's no need for those things, but to suggest that society is "straight culture" and a "straight lifestyle" is just not true. And as I've stated elsewhere, having gay bars, Gay Pride and the various gay societies and LGBT actually is as detrimental as helpful.

Reply 22

olihax

I dont understand why people need to give LGBT ( i am gay ) people a label, it also bugs me that when people go on about how they cant fit in or anything, they then become the Gay stereotype and then all gay people end up looking the same. Since i came out i havnt really changed im still me not what people think im supposed to be.

Reply 23

innerhollow

Original post by Faustus Fotherby

As my signature will tell you then I was the President of the University of Kent's LGBT Society his year (2010-11) so I'd like to give a few thoughts on this - it's a topic I care about a lot so I'm gonna make quite a long reply - I'd appreciate it if it was read in full.

That's a very inspiring story actually, you have earned a truckload of respect from me, good sir. :top:

Definitely if the problem is that LGBTSocs are not friendly or welcoming enough, then people should fight to counteract that. Certainly you have inspired me to adopt a more proactive attitude about this topic when I go to uni.

+repped

Original post by Ciaran88

I never understood them, I don't see why people would be more likely to get along just because they are not heterosexual?

Original post by Chasing_Monsieur_X

Thing is, the whole concept of forming a "society" for a certain group of people may be an act of segregation in itself. It's the same "I'm-different-must-stick-to-other-'different-people" hooplah. Some might reject the idea of societies just because of the contradictory principle of it.

Yeah but if you're a homo/bisexual person looking for a relationship, then a society made up almost entirely of LGB members has its uses. I know that makes it sound pretty sleazy, but most humans are looking for companionship/love in this lonely world; and if any gay/bi person posts on here expressing difficulty in finding same-sex romantic relationships, they're almost always told to go join an LGBTSoc. I'm not overly keen on this notion either, but what can you do?

Original post by olihax

To address the "label" part of your post, it's because humans are obsessed with dating/relationships, and your gender+sexual orientation is a bit of a deal-breaker when it comes to forming romantic relationships. Trust me, I don't like it myself, but it's just the way it is.

I don't feel I changed at all after coming out either (my friends barely remember me telling them to be honest). I think it's unfortunate that some people begin acting in a very cliquey manner after coming out, which alienates people and causes disunity, but you just got to set an example and be welcoming and friendly.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 24

Faustus Fotherby

Original post by innerhollow

That's a very inspiring story actually, you have earned a truckload of respect from me, good sir. :top:

Thanks very much :smile:

The Society and the way I changed it and the understanding I gained from the change in styles meant loads of to me in the last year so I was really keen to post my thoughts when I saw this thread.

Glad to hear you want to get involved, hope things work out well for you when you go to university - I returned your rep :smile:

Reply 25

roseblood

Original post by olihax

People who change after coming out are the ones who got bullied or punished for gender nonconformity and so defeminised themselves as children (it's usually boys because there's less stigma against gender atypicality in girls). There are sociological books and studies documenting this phenomenon among children, not all of whom go on to gay but a disproportionate number. When the ones who are gay come out some get the courage to finally be themselves. This experience (effeminophobia) may be the reason why transgendered and gender nonconforming gays have historically been the most politically active - no gender typical privilege to protect them.

Reply 26

SoulfulBoy

Original post by Tericon

I'm bisexual, and would never consider joining such a society, simply because I don't see the need. I'm bisexual...so what? Who cares really? I don't want to segregate myself from other students who aren't gay, I find most girly girls/boyish boys are the same, they don't want to segregate themselves from the 'norm'.

What have I got to gain from joining? I'd rather join the debating/riding/politics society thanks, I'd be basically paying for friends if I joined the LGBT society ^^