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I want him back

I split up with my ex just over a year ago because I thought it wasn't going anywhere. He moved to a different place and he's changed a bit now but he's still a really nice guy.

I went to see him about 2 months ago and we ended up sleeping together and it was just like it used to be.

But now he says he doesn't want a relationship, which has left me feeling a bit low because it feels like the tables have turned and now he doesn't want me! To be honest I'm feeling a bit needy (!) because I'm finding it hard to get over this...mainly because I had him before and can't now.

Any advice? :confused:

Reply 1

pggirl

Give him time and cont to be his friend. You never know he might chnage his mind and maybe see the chnages in you (i.e. if u ve chnaged)

Reply 2

Katia

6

You're right the table's have turned. He's probably sacred of been hurt/rejected by you again so uses "I don't want a relationship right now" as an excuse. Maybe if you talk to him, or even write to him, and explain that you really have feelings for him, you won't hurt him again etc. etc...

You never know until you try.

Reply 3

Jack0

He's doing the right thing I reckon - you dumped him once so he's thinking that you stand a chance of doing it again. It's a defence mechanism, to stop himself from being rejected again. He has a lot of bad feelings attached to you and it will take quite a lot of work to get rid of them so he can trust you not to hurt him again. He's being perfectly reasonable.

If you really wanna have a go though, my advice is to act in a serious manner to convince him that you're genuine. By this I mean start from the beginning by asking him out for a drink, do the whole dating thing to see if you and him really hit it off again. I think that might work better than simply sleeping with him.

You really want to be in the position that he's seducing you rather than the other way round and the only way I can see that happening is to start again and give him the opportunity - ie asking him out on an innocent date. Make sure you tell him that it doesn't mean you're in a relationship again - it's just you wanna spend some time with him etc. That will let his guard down. HTH, good luck! Just don't hurt him again!!!!

Reply 4

TrentEnd

2

pggirl

Give him time and cont to be his friend. You never know he might chnage his mind and maybe see the chnages in you (i.e. if u ve chnaged)

maybe you should 'chnage' your spelling teacher...

Reply 5

pggirl

TrentEnd

maybe you should 'chnage' your spelling teacher...

Thanks!! Word Police!

Change Change Change!! Did it cross ur mind that I was writing fast and did think of it!! :p:

Reply 6

JonnyB

2

TrentEnd

maybe you should 'chnage' your spelling teacher...

Maybe you should get a 'using capitals in sentences' teacher, smartass.

There's a reason why you and your bloke broke up, don't forget that. It wouldn't work the second time round, you would just get pissed off at the same flaws that he had the first time.

Reply 7

trixie

9

Everyone on here is going to get a complex about writing everything perfectly!

Reply 8

El Scotto

15

Anonymous

I split up with my ex just over a year ago because I thought it wasn't going anywhere. He moved to a different place and he's changed a bit now but he's still a really nice guy.

I went to see him about 2 months ago and we ended up sleeping together and it was just like it used to be.

But now he says he doesn't want a relationship, which has left me feeling a bit low because it feels like the tables have turned and now he doesn't want me! To be honest I'm feeling a bit needy (!) because I'm finding it hard to get over this...mainly because I had him before and can't now.

Any advice? :confused:

remember, exes are exes for a reason, I expect your just missing the company around winter-time. You split up with him for a reason, if you did get back together you might end up feeling the same as you did before and splitting up with him again, which isnt good for either of you.

I'm sure someone will come along for you soon.

Reply 9

kriztinae

14

wel if u really really like him and want to be with him, and arent just feeling this cos u cant have him then remain friends with him, he could change his mine.
but dont sleep with him or do anything cos that will make as if he can have you without the relaitonship if that makes sence :confused:

Reply 10

Fleece

15

Were you missing him before you met up and slept with him?

Thing with exes is, you find yourself missing them - not particularly because of who they are - but because it's safe - you know what it was like...not good.

Reply 11

Thanks everyone, that's really good advice.

Were you missing him before you met up and slept with him?

Thinking back, i definitely wasn't thinking about him as I am now, and there's part of me that suspects that I only want him because I can't have him.

I have been trying not to text him, and acting nonchalant but its very hard!! I find myself just wanting to tell him how much I like him!

Thing is he's a pretty sensitive guy, he's not just out for sex.

I know exes are exes for a reason but its hard reminding myself why I finished with him when I want to be with him so much right now.

Reply 12

Tyler Durden

17

Anonymous

there's part of me that suspects that I only want him because I can't have him.

Which is a terrible reason. And then if you do get back with him you'll remember why you split up and he'll be hurt again. I say leave it unless you're sure.

I want him back

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