I like someone who lives in a different country. Watch

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faberry one
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basically, I am 17 years old. In April, I went to Florida with my family and met a guy there, who lives in the USA anyway. I live in the UK.
we got on so well, and I ended up spending most of my holiday with him... we kissed a few times and knew we had feelings for each other but tried not to make too much of it. Since we wouldn't be able to see each other again.

we keep in touch via facebook, email and skype and very occasionally, phone calls. we talk on skype a couple of times a week, whenever we're both online (cause of time zones). It's the summer holidays now and I've stayed up as late as 4am to keep talking to him... it's starting to really upset me. because we can't be together, we live thousands of miles apart and it just feels like there's no point. But you can't magically turn off your feelings for someone.

he feels the same, says that he still really likes me and doesn't want to stop talking but doesn't see a way we could be together.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I can't have a relationship back home because I like him. I kissed someone at a party a few weeks ago and it felt like I was cheating (even though we're not officially together).

I just need advice. what's the best thing to do here? keep talking? cut off all contact, or what?
I suppose it'd be okay if we were older but we're both only 17. and I'm just confused right now.

by the way, I have another account on here, didn't wanna go anon hence the 0 posts etc..
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Cicerao
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It can be done, but only if you have some serious plans on when you'll visit/end the distance. You can't continue in an infinite internet relationship, obviously. Consider whether you or he would be willing to move and then go from there, see if there's any long-term potential. You do have to be very committed with these things, huge sacrifice.

I wouldn't cut contact, just have a serious chat and decide whether anything can happen or not. If not, keep distance for a bit but stay friends.

Please don't let anyone tell you that you're ridiculous, many LDRs can and do work. But you need to consider whether this one could.
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obstupefacere
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If you like each other, why doesn't one of you move country?

Seriously.

Worst that can happen is both of you get some great life experience of another country. Perhaps, combine university with studying abroad and see each other that way. It can't hurt to try if you feel the relationship is worth trying it for.
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emmanottinghil
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I would suggest take it one day at a time and see where it goes. Sometimes when you're on holiday and make a friend, it can seem magical and closer than normal. That's partly because of the differences and strangeness between you, so there is more to explore. Over time, when you get to know more, some of that "special magic" can go away and you might not be quite so in deep with each other as it looks now. So take it easy, there's no rush. Find out as much as you can about each other, enjoy sharing remotely and chatting and maybe also take breaks from each other for little periods. There are probably lots of nice guys you will meet closer to home in the future and it will be easier for you to have a relationship with one of those, even though it might not seem as mysterious or "special".
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faberry one
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(Original post by Cicerao)
It can be done, but only if you have some serious plans on when you'll visit/end the distance. You can't continue in an infinite internet relationship, obviously. Consider whether you or he would be willing to move and then go from there, see if there's any long-term potential. You do have to be very committed with these things, huge sacrifice.

I wouldn't cut contact, just have a serious chat and decide whether anything can happen or not. If not, keep distance for a bit but stay friends.

Please don't let anyone tell you that you're ridiculous, many LDRs can and do work. But you need to consider whether this one could.
I know, it's getting frustrating being so far away but still liking him and it's only been like 3 months. we thought about me maybe just getting a plane ticket and going to stay with him for a few weeks if we still feel the same in a few months, just to spend some more time together. i just feel like the distance will beat us. I'll be going to Uni next year and I certainly can't afford to study in the US :/
it's just so far away. I guess we will have to just talk it out :| thank you for your advice
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faberry one
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(Original post by obstupefacere)
If you like each other, why doesn't one of you move country?

Seriously.

Worst that can happen is both of you get some great life experience of another country. Perhaps, combine university with studying abroad and see each other that way. It can't hurt to try if you feel the relationship is worth trying it for.
we're 17 and neither of us have the money to travel right now.
I thought about uni in the US, not just because of him - I've always wanted to study abroad and this whole thing has only made me want to go more but it's so expensive. I might look into it some more and look into maybe getting bursaries and whatnot but I'm fairly sure they don't allow foreign students bursaries. Idk.

(Original post by emmanottinghil)
I would suggest take it one day at a time and see where it goes. Sometimes when you're on holiday and make a friend, it can seem magical and closer than normal. That's partly because of the differences and strangeness between you, so there is more to explore. Over time, when you get to know more, some of that "special magic" can go away and you might not be quite so in deep with each other as it looks now. So take it easy, there's no rush. Find out as much as you can about each other, enjoy sharing remotely and chatting and maybe also take breaks from each other for little periods. There are probably lots of nice guys you will meet closer to home in the future and it will be easier for you to have a relationship with one of those, even though it might not seem as mysterious or "special".
I know, I do keep just thinking I need to distract myself with another guy from round here but idk, I'm not very lucky with romance. but I know what you mean. it was quite novel at first, with us both just being foreign to each other and finding out different stuff about where each of us lived, it was new and different and fun. it's been "going strong" for a few months to the point where I'm now thinking... where is it going. we can't keep talking and saying we like each other, but have no plans for the future. there's more against us than there is for us, tbh.

thanks for the advice both of you
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tripsis
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An international LDR can definitely work out. I'm in one right now I live in the United States and my boyfriend lives in the UK and we've been in this LDR for almost two years. There are a few things that have to be done to make a relationship like this succeed:

- You have to talk about your future and figure out how it's going to work out "in the end." Who's moving to who's country? When will this happen? etc.

- Both of you have to be very geared towards the long term. A relationship like this can only work if you both can easily see yourselves marrying the other.

- You have to come to terms with the fact that you could quite possibly only see each other once or twice a year. When you're both in school it is incredibly difficult (and costly) to visit each other when not on summer break.

- Find ways to connect. Talk often, speak on webcam, watch movies at the same time, play online games together, etc. My boyfriend and I leave each other a text to wake up to every single day. It's a wonderful thing to have a consistent piece of communication and it's a comfort knowing that your SO was thinking about you while you were sleeping! (time differences)

It'll be hard work but it can be done! Good luck
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faberry one
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(Original post by tripsis)
An international LDR can definitely work out. I'm in one right now I live in the United States and my boyfriend lives in the UK and we've been in this LDR for almost two years. There are a few things that have to be done to make a relationship like this succeed:

- You have to talk about your future and figure out how it's going to work out "in the end." Who's moving to who's country? When will this happen? etc.

- Both of you have to be very geared towards the long term. A relationship like this can only work if you both can easily see yourselves marrying the other.

- You have to come to terms with the fact that you could quite possibly only see each other once or twice a year. When you're both in school it is incredibly difficult (and costly) to visit each other when not on summer break.

- Find ways to connect. Talk often, speak on webcam, watch movies at the same time, play online games together, etc. My boyfriend and I leave each other a text to wake up to every single day. It's a wonderful thing to have a consistent piece of communication and it's a comfort knowing that your SO was thinking about you while you were sleeping! (time differences)

It'll be hard work but it can be done! Good luck
that is really comforting to hear!! it just seems SO weird to me, like it's impossible.. but seeing that it isn't is good.

how old are you, can I ask?
I don't think we're quite at that stage yet but it's definitely something to think about... I mean, we've known each other 4 months so I wouldn't say I know him entirely but obviously I know him well enough to consider an LDR.
we talk on skype as much as we can, too does it cost extra to text people overseas? I've been apprehensive about texting him because I'm on contract and my dad would go insane if I went over...

but thanks so much! that was really helpful
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Cicerao
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(Original post by faberry one)
does it cost extra to text people overseas? I've been apprehensive about texting him because I'm on contract and my dad would go insane if I went over...
If you get a free Lebara Mobile SIM card, it costs 10p to text and 5p a minute to call the US. Costs a lot more than that on the main networks, unfortunately.
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faberry one
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(Original post by Cicerao)
If you get a free Lebara Mobile SIM card, it costs 10p to text and 5p a minute to call the US. Costs a lot more than that on the main networks, unfortunately.
ahh :/ that sucks. I'll just stick to using whatsapp, haha.
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mirin?
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He's probs ****ing some American broad right now. Let it be , oh let it be, you're most likely the bit on the side for some mental masturbation.
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faberry one
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(Original post by mirin?)
He's probs ****ing some American broad right now. Let it be , oh let it be, you're most likely the bit on the side for some mental masturbation.
Cynicism is beautiful. Thanks for your contribution.
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emmanottinghil
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(Original post by faberry one)
Cynicism is beautiful. Thanks for your contribution.
Best to just ignore this kind of random nastiness.
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tripsis
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(Original post by faberry one)
that is really comforting to hear!! it just seems SO weird to me, like it's impossible.. but seeing that it isn't is good.

how old are you, can I ask?
I don't think we're quite at that stage yet but it's definitely something to think about... I mean, we've known each other 4 months so I wouldn't say I know him entirely but obviously I know him well enough to consider an LDR.
we talk on skype as much as we can, too does it cost extra to text people overseas? I've been apprehensive about texting him because I'm on contract and my dad would go insane if I went over...

but thanks so much! that was really helpful
I'm 20 I was 18 when we started dating. For a while I was on an international texting plan but then whatsapp came out, which allows you to text for free and I've been using that ever since!
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emmanottinghil
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As someone who has been a lot in other countries for moderately long periods of time (because of my father's job and family issues) i would just caution that a lot of long-distance relationships don't stand the test of time. They are much harder to maintain and keep than the ones you might have with people you are seeing all the time. The other thing is that being in lurve with someone you can't see for long periods closes down your chances of seeing what people have to offer who might live round the corner or be at your school or guys you meet at parties. Also i think it sometimes it feels kind of "safer" to be in deep with someone the other side of the world and can act like a comfort blanket ("there's someone out there!") but is not as satisfying as it seems. Most holiday romances don't last. Some do, but most don't.
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Anonymous #1
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I need someone’s help so basically I’m 16 in a few months I went on a family holiday to Blackpool I meet a boy he’s from France and I’m from Belfast we got on so welll had fun and kissed a few times the connection was good he feels the same buh he went home before me I didn’t get his number because he didn’t remember it he didn’t have his phone and he’s no social media how do I find him??
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popthatcorn
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(Original post by faberry one)
basically, I am 17 years old. In April, I went to Florida with my family and met a guy there, who lives in the USA anyway. I live in the UK.
we got on so well, and I ended up spending most of my holiday with him... we kissed a few times and knew we had feelings for each other but tried not to make too much of it. Since we wouldn't be able to see each other again.

we keep in touch via facebook, email and skype and very occasionally, phone calls. we talk on skype a couple of times a week, whenever we're both online (cause of time zones). It's the summer holidays now and I've stayed up as late as 4am to keep talking to him... it's starting to really upset me. because we can't be together, we live thousands of miles apart and it just feels like there's no point. But you can't magically turn off your feelings for someone.

he feels the same, says that he still really likes me and doesn't want to stop talking but doesn't see a way we could be together.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I can't have a relationship back home because I like him. I kissed someone at a party a few weeks ago and it felt like I was cheating (even though we're not officially together).

I just need advice. what's the best thing to do here? keep talking? cut off all contact, or what?
I suppose it'd be okay if we were older but we're both only 17. and I'm just confused right now.

by the way, I have another account on here, didn't wanna go anon hence the 0 posts etc..
Idk, maybe when you turn eighteen book a flight and go see him or vice versa
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Camryn0903
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Hey..
Yeah I actually had a similar situ othe rthan the fact that I got to know my person in my country and then they moved off to Spain.
. We are still in contact but eventually it just faded and I found someone new... so idk... it just depends how much you talkIf you are willing to wait that long before you can visit them and at some point one of you will have to move to the country of the other... but it's totally up to you... my best advice is that you just go with whatever happens and try not to.stress.abiut it coz the more you stress the more tension there is on the relationship and the less likely it is to work.out xx
(Original post by faberry one)
basically, I am 17 years old. In April, I went to Florida with my family and met a guy there, who lives in the USA anyway. I live in the UK.
we got on so well, and I ended up spending most of my holiday with him... we kissed a few times and knew we had feelings for each other but tried not to make too much of it. Since we wouldn't be able to see each other again.

we keep in touch via facebook, email and skype and very occasionally, phone calls. we talk on skype a couple of times a week, whenever we're both online (cause of time zones). It's the summer holidays now and I've stayed up as late as 4am to keep talking to him... it's starting to really upset me. because we can't be together, we live thousands of miles apart and it just feels like there's no point. But you can't magically turn off your feelings for someone.

he feels the same, says that he still really likes me and doesn't want to stop talking but doesn't see a way we could be together.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I can't have a relationship back home because I like him. I kissed someone at a party a few weeks ago and it felt like I was cheating (even though we're not officially together).

I just need advice. what's the best thing to do here? keep talking? cut off all contact, or what?
I suppose it'd be okay if we were older but we're both only 17. and I'm just confused right now.

by the way, I have another account on here, didn't wanna go anon hence the 0 posts etc..
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Camryn0903
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Do you know his name?? And where he lived... if so... search it?? Either that or go to France and find him 😂😂🤔... bit of a tricky one that sorry 🙁
(Original post by Anonymous)
I need someone’s help so basically I’m 16 in a few months I went on a family holiday to Blackpool I meet a boy he’s from France and I’m from Belfast we got on so welll had fun and kissed a few times the connection was good he feels the same buh he went home before me I didn’t get his number because he didn’t remember it he didn’t have his phone and he’s no social media how do I find him??
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shailivr
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I’d like get a job to fund u to meet him. I’d apply for jobs in The US after Uni. If i were you I mean. Think long term. I know it’s hard. But don’t stop talking to him. I think it’s amazing you are so far but feel so strongly about each other.
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