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Clingy?
I don't usually go in for this sort of thing, I like to try and work things out myself, but thought a few opinions may be useful on this one.
Basically, me and my girlfriend have been together just over a year, everything is going well, I really enjoy being with her. The thing is the amount of attention she seems to want.
When we first started speaking, we used to text non-stop. A year on, we still do. She will text me as soon as she gets up, and as soon as I reply, she fires another one straight back. If I don't reply for an hour or two, for whatever reason, I get another text, either the last one resent or a new one. I like getting texts from her, and feel bad when I don't reply, but if she instantly replies, and so do I, we will spend 50% of our lives reading texts and 50% of it sending them, which is ridiculous.
Even when I, or her, go out with friends, she will still text all the time and ask me to do the same. I often say I'll text 'when I can', and she'll always say she looks forward to me texting, which I find a little... obsessive?
She also openly admits she wants to see me everyday. I love spending time with her, but I know it's not healthy to spend all the time with a girl; we both need to see friends too. I can't actually remember the last time she went out with her friends, she has them, but doesn't often do thing with them. I don't know if that's just how she is, it's sort of an awkward topic to bring up!
One other little thing is when we are together, here, out in public, whatever, we will always hold hands. Always. I don't think I've been with her more than about 3 minutes without us touching eachother. She gets a little annoyed if I walk without holding her hand anywhere, which is also a little weird and can be awkward if we are out with friends or whatever.
The flipside of it though is that I know some couples speak for hours on the telephone every night. We don't do that, we only chat maybe once a week or so on the phone, depending on how much we've seen each other that week.
Sorry for the long winded post. I don't really want advice, like "just ditch her" or whatever won't help, more just opinions; is this what relationships are like, or is she a little dependate? I mean, I love the time we spend together, don't get me wrong, it's just at times (like when we are 'apart') it seems to get a little bit too much.
Opinions?
Basically, me and my girlfriend have been together just over a year, everything is going well, I really enjoy being with her. The thing is the amount of attention she seems to want.
When we first started speaking, we used to text non-stop. A year on, we still do. She will text me as soon as she gets up, and as soon as I reply, she fires another one straight back. If I don't reply for an hour or two, for whatever reason, I get another text, either the last one resent or a new one. I like getting texts from her, and feel bad when I don't reply, but if she instantly replies, and so do I, we will spend 50% of our lives reading texts and 50% of it sending them, which is ridiculous.
Even when I, or her, go out with friends, she will still text all the time and ask me to do the same. I often say I'll text 'when I can', and she'll always say she looks forward to me texting, which I find a little... obsessive?
She also openly admits she wants to see me everyday. I love spending time with her, but I know it's not healthy to spend all the time with a girl; we both need to see friends too. I can't actually remember the last time she went out with her friends, she has them, but doesn't often do thing with them. I don't know if that's just how she is, it's sort of an awkward topic to bring up!
One other little thing is when we are together, here, out in public, whatever, we will always hold hands. Always. I don't think I've been with her more than about 3 minutes without us touching eachother. She gets a little annoyed if I walk without holding her hand anywhere, which is also a little weird and can be awkward if we are out with friends or whatever.
The flipside of it though is that I know some couples speak for hours on the telephone every night. We don't do that, we only chat maybe once a week or so on the phone, depending on how much we've seen each other that week.
Sorry for the long winded post. I don't really want advice, like "just ditch her" or whatever won't help, more just opinions; is this what relationships are like, or is she a little dependate? I mean, I love the time we spend together, don't get me wrong, it's just at times (like when we are 'apart') it seems to get a little bit too much.
Opinions?
Well, you mentioned several times that you like being around her, which is a good thing. So, I presume that this is the only negative aspect to your relationship.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
Wow, I hate the texting obsessive thing. It's like someone can always get to you and control you. I'd suggest you break your phone 
Hmm, you say you prefer this to long telephone calls? Surely it's more healthy to actually *speak* to your girlfriend! Texts are usually quite light-hearted, you can't figure as much out from them (because you can't hear the sound of someone's voice) and they're not private because others can read them.
Texting her so much must be really expensive.
I can get being "clingy". But this isn't even clingy, it's just paranoid and controlling. There's a difference. Just stop replying to her texts so much, don't keep your phone with you all the time (that's an excuse). Discuss how expensive it is to text etc.
Hmm, you say you prefer this to long telephone calls? Surely it's more healthy to actually *speak* to your girlfriend! Texts are usually quite light-hearted, you can't figure as much out from them (because you can't hear the sound of someone's voice) and they're not private because others can read them.
Texting her so much must be really expensive.
I can get being "clingy". But this isn't even clingy, it's just paranoid and controlling. There's a difference. Just stop replying to her texts so much, don't keep your phone with you all the time (that's an excuse). Discuss how expensive it is to text etc.
justbrowsing
Well, you mentioned several times that you like being around her, which is a good thing. So, I presume that this is the only negative aspect to your relationship.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
You pretty much hit the nail on the head, that sums it all up and I shall keep what you said in mind, thanks.
I hadn't really thought about her having problems with friends, but now you mention it, she did have a falling out with a close friend recently, and she's been treated badly by guys before, that probably comes into it.
Saffie
Hmm, you say you prefer this to long telephone calls? Surely it's more healthy to actually *speak* to your girlfriend! Texts are usually quite light-hearted, you can't figure as much out from them (because you can't hear the sound of someone's voice) and they're not private because others can read them.
I didn't say I preferred it, it's just something we've always done. I just mentioned telephones because some couples talk on the telephone every night, whereas we don't, I was just pointing that out in her favour!
justbrowsing
Well, you mentioned several times that you like being around her, which is a good thing. So, I presume that this is the only negative aspect to your relationship.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
You definately need to talk to her. Above all, she sounds a little insecure. She clearly adores you and, if it's any consolation, she's probably proud to be seen with you, hence the public displays of affection. But I understand that you would feel really suffocated by this.
You mention that she hardly see's her own friends alone. Is she having friendship-troubles that are preventing her from seeing them? I'd start by askin her that. You need to be a bit crafty in addressing her 'clinginess'. By starting the conversation with a question about her friends, it takes the emphasis off you two. If you launch into a eavy conversation about ''needing space'' etc, she's just gonna suspect that you're having doubts, which I don't think you are.
Reassure her that she's special to you, but you'd like a little space. How about buying her a little something. Maybe a necklace, bracelet, or something. You don't need to spend much, she'll appreciate the thought. She only behaves in this way because she's worried you'll meet someone else! I think there are underlying reasons for this extreme obsession that she has.
However, this isnt healthy, and you'll end up resenting her. Tell her the sae things you've written in this thread- that you love being around her etc, but that part of the excitement is actually looking forward to seeing her, and that she's worrying unnecesarily.
Make light of it though, this problem needn't be serious unless you make it like that.
You pretty much hit the nail on the head, that sums it all up and I shall keep what you said in mind, thanks.
I hadn't really thought about her having problems with friends, but now you mention it, she did have a falling out with a close friend recently, and she's been treated badly by guys before, that probably comes into it.
Saffie
Hmm, you say you prefer this to long telephone calls? Surely it's more healthy to actually *speak* to your girlfriend! Texts are usually quite light-hearted, you can't figure as much out from them (because you can't hear the sound of someone's voice) and they're not private because others can read them.
I didn't say I preferred it, it's just something we've always done. I just pointed it out because some couples do spend hours on the phone every day, while we don't. I was looking to see how 'always' she wants us to be compared to other couples, so was just pointing out we aren't the always on the telephone type. Still, thanks for the comment
i think she's just a tad too clingy and your doubts are reasonable.try talking to her about it. and try calling more maybe that way she won't feel she has to text all the time. just talk to her and ask if you guys could have 'me- times' where you don't speak n you guys can do your own things. tell her so she can see her mates and you can see yours and do your own thing.
i think you've got a lovely lady who loves you too pieces but she is clearly abit insecure and if shes fallen out with her mates then she will be relying on you more for support and friendship. The fact shes been treat crappy by guys before is bound to make her a little more clingy since shes desperate to hold on to you. i think the best way to do it is to be honest and explain that you love spending time with her but you need time with your friends too, emphasise that this way you'll look forward to seeing her even more and i do like the idea of giving her a small, meaningfull gift just because she will really appreciate it and it may help to give her more confidence that your not going to find another girl. please just patient with her, she sounds like she adores you and is mostly just insecure as a result of previous crap experinces and lonely due to the arguement with her mate. x
Feel sorry for you, the fact that you can't go a few days without contacting each other does not say a lot about the strength of the relationship... I find it quite immature. What happens when you go away on business or when you start working in the REAL WORLD?... I get the image of a psycho control freak.
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