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i don't like sex
i've been celibate for 14 months now because i don't like sex. there have been various interested parties, but i just don't want it.
i don't see what people see in it.
I fancy guys all the time and like dating people casually but would hate to take it further. i don't like dicks, i find them a turn off.
so i see guys but if they start to get too close i break up with them.
it's a shame because i feel slightly like i'm missing out on something.
I lost my virginity when i was 15, and slept with many guys, 14 i think before going celibate at 18. I'm 19 now.
i slept with the guys mainly when i was out the country so no-one knew about it.
when every time was a dissappointment, I assumed i should move on and find someone better in bed. so did repeatedly. but no-one did it for me. so i gave up.
I feel very attracted to people, even the occasional woman, and I've kissed a few. but i don't want sex with anyone. i find sex boring, or primitive. my mind wanders when i should be enjoying myself.
should i be worried?
or is it wrong to assume that everyone loves sex because the media portrays it that way?
not so long ago, homosexuality was considered messed up because it deviated from "the norm", and now rightly so, it considered perfectly acceptable.
I wonder if one day, people with almost no sexual desire won't be considered weird... I don't think I'm asexual because i like kissing, and i am very attracted to someone right now. i just don't want to sleep with him.
i don't see what people see in it.
I fancy guys all the time and like dating people casually but would hate to take it further. i don't like dicks, i find them a turn off.
so i see guys but if they start to get too close i break up with them.
it's a shame because i feel slightly like i'm missing out on something.
I lost my virginity when i was 15, and slept with many guys, 14 i think before going celibate at 18. I'm 19 now.
i slept with the guys mainly when i was out the country so no-one knew about it.
when every time was a dissappointment, I assumed i should move on and find someone better in bed. so did repeatedly. but no-one did it for me. so i gave up.
I feel very attracted to people, even the occasional woman, and I've kissed a few. but i don't want sex with anyone. i find sex boring, or primitive. my mind wanders when i should be enjoying myself.
should i be worried?
or is it wrong to assume that everyone loves sex because the media portrays it that way?
not so long ago, homosexuality was considered messed up because it deviated from "the norm", and now rightly so, it considered perfectly acceptable.
I wonder if one day, people with almost no sexual desire won't be considered weird... I don't think I'm asexual because i like kissing, and i am very attracted to someone right now. i just don't want to sleep with him.
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Noone likes sex. It's just one of those hyped up things.
Perhaps you should try sex with someone of the same sex.
dogtanian
Don't worry, some people just don't enjoy it. Simple as.
but there are other sides to relationships, and this means I'm doomed to be alone. which i don't mind now, but when i'm older i might.
and i get asked out a lot.
Anonymous
Perhaps you should try sex with someone of the same sex.
my best friend, who is a lesbian says this exact thing.
but i don't really find lesbians attractive - sorry if that sounds awful, but i've been out in the gay scene a fair amount and no-one ever caught my eye.
I think i would be too shy as well!
Yeah it's true - some people just aren't into it. I read an article once about a couple who have been together decades and never had sex - it's not purely platonic either; they kiss etc and are attracted to each other. I don't really understand it myself... but yeah, it happens. Also, you might find that if you properly fall in love with someone it's different. You say you've had a lot of casual sex - perhaps if you sleep with someone you love then you might prefer it. You never know.
englishstudent
Yeah it's true - some people just aren't into it. I read an article once about a couple who have been together decades and never had sex - it's not purely platonic either; they kiss etc and are attracted to each other. I don't really understand it myself... but yeah, it happens. Also, you might find that if you properly fall in love with someone it's different. You say you've had a lot of casual sex - perhaps if you sleep with someone you love then you might prefer it. You never know.
The casual sex was in the space of a few months when i 16, that was a long time ago.
I've been in love twice. I just had sex with them because they wanted to. eventually this was realised and the relationship broke down.
englishstudent
Also, you might find that if you properly fall in love with someone it's different. You say you've had a lot of casual sex - perhaps if you sleep with someone you love then you might prefer it. You never know.
Yeah, that's another thing. Maybe it's just that you simply don't like sex, but maybe it's also that you need the emotion more than most to open up.
But please don't take that post to mean 'omg, you must love sex, you just haven't met the right bloke yet!!', because that may well not be the case.
Anonymous
The casual sex was in the space of a few months when i 16, that was a long time ago.
I've been in love twice. I just had sex with them because they wanted to. eventually this was realised and the relationship broke down.
I've been in love twice. I just had sex with them because they wanted to. eventually this was realised and the relationship broke down.
Not wanting to pry, but can you think of any reason? Abuse etc?
englishstudent
Not wanting to pry, but can you think of any reason? Abuse etc?
Well i wasn't glad about losing my virginity.
and some guy did have sex with me while i was unconsious when i was 17.
which was pretty s**t. and i was upset for a long time. but it's not like i was into sex before that anyway.
but that probably did make things worse...
Sex while you were unconsious? How did you find out?
Anonymous
Well i wasn't glad about losing my virginity.
and some guy did have sex with me while i was unconsious when i was 17.
which was pretty s**t. and i was upset for a long time. but it's not like i was into sex before that anyway.
but that probably did make things worse...
and some guy did have sex with me while i was unconsious when i was 17.
which was pretty s**t. and i was upset for a long time. but it's not like i was into sex before that anyway.
but that probably did make things worse...
That sucks, sorry. You could try talking about that with someone - see if it helps. Although you didn't like sex much before. Well I wouldn't let it bother you to be honest - it's not something to be ashamed of or worry about - it's definitely true that the media hypes everything sexual to ridiculous proportions.
This guy you like... well I'd just get to know him properly and he might be understanding about it hopefully. People wait ages to have sex for all sorts of reasons (religious, health, commitment etc)
because i remember him being there, and there was my blood on the sheets.
and i was sore.
i just don't remember the act because i was that drunk.
which is my fault i know.
**** happens. it could be worse.
and i was sore.
i just don't remember the act because i was that drunk.
which is my fault i know.
**** happens. it could be worse.
zooropa
Maybe you're simply asexual.
Maybe you're simply asexual.
Anonymous
I don't think I'm asexual because i like kissing, and i am very attracted to someone right now. i just don't want to sleep with him.
...
englishstudent
This guy you like... well I'd just get to know him properly and he might be understanding about it hopefully. People wait ages to have sex for all sorts of reasons (religious, health, commitment etc)
This guy you like... well I'd just get to know him properly and he might be understanding about it hopefully. People wait ages to have sex for all sorts of reasons (religious, health, commitment etc)
I don't think he's in any hurry, which is maybe what makes me like him.
Wow what to say to this. I sympathise with you. I guess to most men sex is a very very important part of a relationship. For me personally, I really could not be with someone who didn't enjoy and want sex at least nearly as much as I do if not more. If she's not enjoying it then what's the point? I certainly wouldn't be either.
Assuming your not that into women, then you just need to find a guy that's not that into sex. They're rare but they are definitely out there. I can imagine they find it difficult expressing this information as men are expected by society to be virile and have high libidos etc. etc. If you can find one you are attracted to and is nice you could make a really good couple. Which I sense is what you're really looking for.
I almost feel it's a pity that people can't rate their libidos on some scale and talk about it openly. Would certainly help when dating. Considering sex is something that tends to happen gradually over the beginning of a relationship, neither partner knows how much the other one really wants it. It can be disasterous on all accounts when one wants it more than the other. Especially if the woman wants it more than the man. Men are more used to not having sex when the want to. Women seem to take it as a severe personal insult if a man says "not tonight honey".. /tangent
Assuming your not that into women, then you just need to find a guy that's not that into sex. They're rare but they are definitely out there. I can imagine they find it difficult expressing this information as men are expected by society to be virile and have high libidos etc. etc. If you can find one you are attracted to and is nice you could make a really good couple. Which I sense is what you're really looking for.
I almost feel it's a pity that people can't rate their libidos on some scale and talk about it openly. Would certainly help when dating. Considering sex is something that tends to happen gradually over the beginning of a relationship, neither partner knows how much the other one really wants it. It can be disasterous on all accounts when one wants it more than the other. Especially if the woman wants it more than the man. Men are more used to not having sex when the want to. Women seem to take it as a severe personal insult if a man says "not tonight honey".. /tangent
I think you're right ApeXaviour. there must be someone out there who is like me.
and I've just realised, as sensitive and helpful as you're all being, englishstudent still asked if i'd been abused.
this is no attack on englishstudent whatsoever, he seems very nice, but it does show the general attitudes towards people with very low libidos - ie, "there's something wrong with you / you've been abused or raped ?..."
i think the media needs to cover this issue more and help evolve attitudes towards this (non?)sexuality, by covering it in a neutral and not a negative way.
and I've just realised, as sensitive and helpful as you're all being, englishstudent still asked if i'd been abused.
this is no attack on englishstudent whatsoever, he seems very nice, but it does show the general attitudes towards people with very low libidos - ie, "there's something wrong with you / you've been abused or raped ?..."
i think the media needs to cover this issue more and help evolve attitudes towards this (non?)sexuality, by covering it in a neutral and not a negative way.
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