The Student Room Group

Sorry To Sound Obsessive, But....!

Now, as the title explains, I apologise for coming across as an obsessed nutter, but it's a Sunday evening, and I've nothing to do except stew over this irritating issue!!!!

Please refer back to my original post, which is on page two of the treads, sent two days ago; entitled "Your Interpretations On His Behaviour Please"

Basically, I sent him a text at 2pm this afternoon, basicaly wishing him a Hapy New Year, and asking what he did for the evening. I haven't had a reply!

Now, my question is this...

Why the hell does he act realy keen while we're at Uni, than behave like this? Now I know it sounds as though I'm jumping the gun a bit as I didnt exactly send it years ago, but still! He told me on Thursday night that he wasn't doing anything tonight when I bumped into him in a club on thursday.

It's just that when we're at Uni, he'll reply within a few minutes, now this. I'm also concerned by the fact that he seems to act really cold with me now we're back home. I've only seen him twice, both times were at a club on Thursday nights. One minute he'll be really keen to see me, then he'll go miserable. For example, I kept his scarf in my bag as the Cloakroom was full. My friend felt ill during the evening, so we left early. I went up to give him hs scarf and he told me to keep hold of it, despite making it clear that I was leaving. He then semi went off in a sulk!

Basically, I really dont know how to read him; he's the most complex person I've ever known. But like I said, I really want to sort this out, as I'm not going back to Uni in January to revert back to the games, as I know he'll just act as normal and play them when we go back.

(excuse the lame phrase!), but really dont want to not have him around & in my life, so I'd be tempted to go along with it, but it really is a kinda 'all or nothing' situation for me. In the meantime, if I did stop this behaviour that goes on between us, we'd inevitably socialise in all the same bars (our Uni town is a small one!) and i'm sure at some point I'd be seen by him talking to a person of the opposite sex! As i've said before, he gets a bit peeved by this, and makes a fuss. I imagine he'd never speak to me again if I stoped the silly flirting and was seen talking to others guys! You see, Ivery much doubt that we could ever be friends, despite having so much in common. (btw- thats not just my opinion- his friend told me how "funny" I am. He really isnt the sort to give out peculiar compliments like that, either!)

I'm rambling like a nutter, but he's lovely and that's why I'm so bothered!

Thanks in advance for any replies X

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Reply 1
justbrowsing
Now, as the title explains, I apologise for coming across as an obsessed nutter, but it's a Sunday evening, and I've nothing to do except stew over this irritating issue!!!!

Please refer back to my original post, which is on page two of the treads, sent two days ago; entitled "Your Interpretations On His Behaviour Please"

Basically, I sent him a text at 2pm this afternoon, basicaly wishing him a Hapy New Year, and asking what he did for the evening. I haven't had a reply!

Now, my question is this...

Why the hell does he act realy keen while we're at Uni, than behave like this?
Behave like what? Maybe he has no credit. Maybe he hasn't checked his phone. Maybe he partied so hard last night he's still sleeping. Maybe he'll reply to you tomorrow. Or he was going to reply and just forgot.

You can't sort out anything with him while you're home so why fret? Just wait till you go back to uni and put a stop to "these games". Like we said before ask him to go out with you. You'll either get a yes or a no. Eitherway you're in the position to do it..
Reply 2
Maybe I'm just a bit of a brat. But I just get confused cos I know that, if he were to send a text, I'd text him back as soon as I could. Surely in the space of ten hours, he could have spared a minute to reply back if he was that bothered! I just find it rude.
Reply 3
That guy just sounds like a player to me
Reply 4
You can't sort out anything with him while you're home so why fret? Just wait till you go back to uni and put a stop to "these games". Like we said before ask him to go out with you. You'll either get a yes or a no. Eitherway you're in the position to do it..

Forgot to address these points.

He lives just 10 mins from my house. And I can't ask him out when he hasn't replied to a simple ''how are you'' message!
Reply 5
justbrowsing
Forgot to address these points.

He lives just 10 mins from my house. And I can't ask him out when he hasn't replied to a simple ''how are you'' message!

He sounds like a waste of time to be honest,
Reply 6
MNBStyle
That guy just sounds like a player to me


Maybe! I jokingly implied that to his frend when he was asking me ''what I thought of him'' and he said that he isn't. I'm not being naive but he realy had no reason to lie, and to be honest, he gets a bit annoyed when we're together most of the night and he's being ignored.
Reply 7
justbrowsing
Maybe! I jokingly implied that to his frend when he was asking me ''what I thought of him'' and he said that he isn't. I'm not being naive but he realy had no reason to lie, and to be honest, he gets a bit annoyed when we're together most of the night and he's being ignored.

Well his friend is hardly going to be stupid enough to say "Yeah your right he is a player to be honest"
Reply 8
MNBStyle
Well his friend is hardly going to be stupid enough to say "Yeah your right he is a player to be honest"


I know that. The whole point of my thread is this... He texts all the time at Uni, asking where i'm going that night. We end up at the same place and the games commence! We see each other every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at least. He works on a Tues and Thurs. Therefore, I know that he isn't seeing other girls!
Reply 9
justbrowsing
I know that. The whole point of my thread is this... He texts all the time at Uni, asking where i'm going that night. We end up at the same place and the games commence! We see each other every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at least. He works on a Tues and Thurs. Therefore, I know that he isn't seeing other girls!

And how long have these games been going on for??? hes quite clearly a player, you know showing or making out hes interested just to see what you say or do.
How do you know hes not having flings with other girls or seeing one??
Were you both equally interested in each other during term time?
Reply 11
MNBStyle
And how long have these games been going on for??? hes quite clearly a player, you know showing or making out hes interested just to see what you say or do.
How do you know hes not having flings with other girls or seeing one??


Cos, my friend, whom I always socialise with, lives two doors down from him in halls, and is friends with the girl in between them. Another example? A girl o his course liked him. She's quite attractive and most guys probably would. She told him she liked him, he told her that he liked liked me and didnt want a relationship. I only found this out because she was always really vile to be and always gave me horrid looks every time I saw her. I politely asked her why and she apoogised and told me thats she's a ''naturally jealous person''.

As for ''doing things to see what i do'', he's the one that pulls a huge strop when I talk to other guys! And its always quite obvious that i'm not flirting with them and that he only gets pissed off when I talk to (without meaning to appear rude) attractive guys.
Reply 12
justbrowsing
Cos, my friend, whom I always socialise with, lives two doors down from him in halls, and is friends with the girl in between them. Another example? A girl o his course liked him. She's quite attractive and most guys probably would. She told him she liked him, he told her that he liked liked me and didnt want a relationship. I only found this out because she was always really vile to be and always gave me horrid looks every time I saw her. I politely asked her why and she apoogised and told me thats she's a ''naturally jealous person''.

As for ''doing things to see what i do'', he's the one that pulls a huge strop when I talk to other guys! And its always quite obvious that i'm not flirting with them and that he only gets pissed off when I talk to (without meaning to appear rude) attractive guys.

So because a friend of yours lives 2 doors from him and hes turned down one girl, this is proof hes not spreading the love when hes out???

So if he clearly likes you in the way you say he does and you like him, why has neither of you asked the other out yet? :confused:
Reply 13
So if he clearly likes you in the way you say he does and you like him, why has neither of you asked the other out yet? :confused:

Cos for some strange reason, it's just an unmentionable subject, and feels really awkward.
Reply 14
justbrowsing
Cos for some strange reason, it's just an unmentionable subject, and feels really awkward.

Why, are you both shy about this sort of thing??
Reply 15
MNBStyle
Why, are you both shy about this sort of thing??


Ok, can I pleassssse stress that know I'm coming across as deranged and a complete naive loser. I know that he's quite, well, shy. He's completely fit and gets so much attention from girls but has only had one girlfriend, which he puts down to the fact that ''she treated him like **** and he couldnt be bothered with that kind of thing again''
blah blah blah. he went to a really small boarding school before uni which on;ly had seven other girls in his year, so he hasnt really had the opportunity to meet other girls. I'm by no means suggesting this is the only way to meet girls but, he only turned 18 in July and our home town never lets guys into clubs when underage,.

I'm not the kind of person that can easily say things like that, simple as.

And as for 'making it obvious that I like him'', I havent actualy said it. For example, just so that i could test his reaction, I called him when I was on the way home from Uni on the train. He left the next day. I caled to say Hi and basically said that I wasnt gonna see him for 6 weeks and that I'd mis him. This was said inthe form of a joke. He said ''well, why wouldnt we see each other etc?''. So hence my confusion!
Reply 16
What was with the Biography story on him :p:
I think its time to quit the games, you need to ask him out, or hope and wait longer and longer hoping he asks you, either that just forget it
Reply 17
:wink:
MNBStyle
What was with the Biography story on him :p:
I think its time to quit the games, you need to ask him out, or hope and wait longer and longer hoping he asks you, either that just forget it


I know, it was completely irrelevant. :rolleyes: will probably just have to do that.
Reply 18
justbrowsing
:wink:

I know, it was completely irrelevant. :rolleyes: will probably just have to do that.

Its your best choice, as it dont look like hes going to be asking you anytime soon
Reply 19
MNBStyle
Its your best choice, as it dont look like hes going to be asking you anytime soon


Blimey, I am bloody depressed now. But thanks for the advice.