Do you think he's bored?

mich2005

I've been with my boyfriend for 3years now, for both of us its our first proper relationship. We still enjoy each others company, we're still very much in love, however people keep saying that he'll get bored because he's a man and that i'm stupid for thinking that we're going to be together for years, get married, kids etc. they say I should have lots of boyfriends before all that happens but i'm happy with what I have now and I think my boyfriend is too. What are your views?

Reply 1

ApeXaviour

7

What age are you? What age is he?

Reply 2

frank01277779

1

why would he be bored? especially if the only basis they have for this is "because hes a man"...are most of them single out of interest? sound a bit jealous/bitter in my opinion, or maybe they're just making sure that you realise its a possibility that you will split up...

Reply 3

mich2005

OP

i'm 19 and he's 21. Well people just say its just men, they can't stay faithful for so long. My friends say that 3years is a very long time and that he's bound to get fed up sooner or later. So why do people waste time on relationships at all then? I personally don't think he is bored but with everybody else around me saying he is its very hard not to have doubts

Reply 4

username18215

0

10

As long are you are happy and he is happy ignore everything else.

Reply 5

Mrs_F

15

It's not just men. That's a load of crap for a start your friends making such an assumption. Women can get bored just as much as men. So forget that one.
If he has made no suggestion that he is bored with the relationship then I wouldn't worry about it.
My best friend has been with her man for 5 years now since they were 16 and they have just gotten engaged. It was both their first proper relationship and they aren't bored with each other at all yet.
However, for some people it might get boring as some people may feel they have missed out on other things. I had a couple of serious relationships before I settled down with my fiance and I know for me it was the right thing to do. But like I have said others find the partner who is meant for them at an early age and will stay with them forever.

What's meant to be will be. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

Reply 6

nina_100

12

Whats important is what you feel and think, not what others do!! If you feel that things aren't going well then maybe it is time to call it a day- it is young to settle down and whilst young most people 'live' and date many people. Thats not to say its what's right and what you should do and that you're not living, its only because you're friends haven't experienced what you've got that they're sayin the things they do!!
Only you and you're boyfriend know whats going on! Talk to him about it and see what he feels!

Reply 7

mich2005

OP

lynseyweth

It's not just men. That's a load of crap for a start your friends making such an assumption. Women can get bored just as much as men. So forget that one.
If he has made no suggestion that he is bored with the relationship then I wouldn't worry about it.
My best friend has been with her man for 5 years now since they were 16 and they have just gotten engaged. It was both their first proper relationship and they aren't bored with each other at all yet.
However, for some people it might get boring as some people may feel they have missed out on other things. I had a couple of serious relationships before I settled down with my fiance and I know for me it was the right thing to do. But like I have said others find the partner who is meant for them at an early age and will stay with them forever.

What's meant to be will be. Or at least that's what I tell myself.

thanks thats made me feel better. I'm just really happy and I don't want to lose it all. Some things that make me think that he's bored is that its mostly me who suggests that we go for a meal, cinema etc. He doesn't seem to mind when I ask he just always says whatever you want to do, but i always feel that he never seems bothered. And another thing is sometimes he'll be in a bad mood mainly at work (we work together hes a supervisor n has alot of responsibilities) and whatever I do doesn't seem to cheer him up then I see him laughing and joking with other people. I've asked him before and he just said I'm being stupid

Reply 8

ApeXaviour

7

mich2005

My friends say that 3years is a very long time and that he's bound to get fed up sooner or later.

You're friend doesn't know what they're talking about. She (I'm assuming she) is most likely jealous or has had bad experiences with men.

It's such a ridiculous statement. My grandparents were happily married for over 60 years, my parents for 25. Some of my friends have been going out with their girlfriends and boyfriends for nearly 5 years now.

If there's no signs from him just ignore everybody else. Oh and don't go pressurising him into marriage anytime soon :wink:

That ended it for a friend of mine who was the same age as your bf.

Reply 9

mich2005

OP

yeah my best mate was cheated on by her boyfriend, she said " i thought he was perfect and that he would never do anything to hurt me, there all the same" so she keeps saying that my boyfriend will do the same

Reply 10

SpiderBoy

1

mich2005

i'm 19 and he's 21. Well people just say its just men, they can't stay faithful for so long. My friends say that 3years is a very long time and that he's bound to get fed up sooner or later.

everyones different and generlisations like that are dangerous. My mates 22, been with his girlfriend for 7 years now and they are still a 'sickly in love' couple.

So long as your realistic and realise that if things change it might not last for ever but by sounds of it your bf hasn't given you any reason to think its likely in the near future so enjoy what you have and don't let your friends views worry you.

Reply 11

ApeXaviour

7

mich2005

" i thought he was perfect and that he would never do anything to hurt me, there all the same"

Ugh

Why would you even pay her any heed? She has one bad experience and all of a sudden we're "all the same". If I did that for women I'd be a mysoginist hermit living in a hut..

Reply 12

Mrs_F

15

mich2005

yeah my best mate was cheated on by her boyfriend, she said " i thought he was perfect and that he would never do anything to hurt me, there all the same" so she keeps saying that my boyfriend will do the same

They aren't all the same though. Women cheat just as much as men, your friend has just had a bad experience and probably has your best interests at heart, but she needs to learn that all men aren't the same at all. She will learn one day when she finds the right person for her.

Reply 13

mich2005

OP

so men!!! from your point of view what would cause you to get bored? anyone been with their gf for a couple of years and how do you feel??

Reply 14

pumpkin7

13

mich2005

i'm 19 and he's 21. Well people just say its just men, they can't stay faithful for so long. My friends say that 3years is a very long time and that he's bound to get fed up sooner or later. So why do people waste time on relationships at all then? I personally don't think he is bored but with everybody else around me saying he is its very hard not to have doubts

well unless your boyfriend has told them personally, i'd just say they are jealous and you should ignore them. :biggrin:

Reply 15

ApeXaviour

7

mich2005

so men!!! from your point of view what would cause you to get bored? anyone been with their gf for a couple of years and how do you feel??

Excessive clingyness from the girl. (You need something to to challenge you, just a little, and small things. Men need this just as much as women.)
Loss of feelings (something you just can't help sometimes).
Excessive routine: either in the bedroom and/or in general.
Depression might also do it a bit too. A general downturn in your outlook on life

In any case if it was me, it'd be hard not to pick up on the signals, unless you're completely in denial.

Reply 16

mich2005

OP

ApeXaviour

Excessive clingyness from the girl. (You need something to to challenge you, just a little, and small things. Men need this just as much as women.)
Loss of feelings (something you just can't help sometimes).
Excessive routine: either in the bedroom and/or in general.
Depression might also do it a bit too. A general downturn in your outlook on life

In any case if it was me, it'd be hard not to pick up on the signals, unless you're completely in denial.

so i should make him for my attention?? So if your gf doesn't text you ring you, do u get worried?

Reply 17

jointhedots

16

mich2005

so i should make him for my attention?? So if your gf doesn't text you ring you, do u get worried?

You guys have been together for three years and you haven't said that either of you have any problems with the relationship. By all means if you're that worried about him 'getting bored' then just ask him and I'm sure he'll reassure you. Otherwise, don't try to fix something that isn't broken :smile:

Reply 18

Mrs_F

15

mich2005

so i should make him for my attention?? So if your gf doesn't text you ring you, do u get worried?

After 3 years, you really shouldn't need to make him wait for attention etc. You should know each other well enough by now to know what each other wants. I know that my fiance would be huffed if I started waiting hours before replying to his texts, or not return a phone call.

I really don't think you need to make him chase you after 3 years of a happy relationship. If he is showing no signs of being unhappy, just continue your relationship as normal. Don't let your friend get to you, you don't need to change things!

Reply 19

emilyemily

He's been with you for three years, so he obviously cares a great deal about you. Ignore your friends, you can't make generalisations like that.

Do you think he's bored?

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