being shy around guys I actually like!

When im around guys that i dont fancy but am friends with I am my normal confident and happy self, but as soon as I'm with a guy i fancy myself I just freeze up!
How can I act confident like I normally do when its someone that I actually like?! I end up looking like Im really stupid and have nothing to say, when in fact thats not how i normally act at all lol :rolleyes:

Anyone else get this problem of being shy around guys they like, and how can i just be myself around them :redface:

Reply 1

Mrs_F

15

Are you young?
I don't know about anyone else, but the majority of people I know personally all went through this stage when we were younger.
Butterflies, nothing coming out when you try to talk to them, tripping over when you walk past them trying to be cool, just making a complete fool of myself. Or was that just me and my group of friends?

Reply 2

ApeXaviour

7

Well I can't offer you any answers personally because I'm in the exact same boat around girls I like. So I'll be interested in the replies you get.

I'm not young, relative to people on these boards.

I reckon it stems from the fact that ya really care about the impression they get from you and you're worried about giving a bad one. Self-fulfilling prophecy. It's such a stupid natural reaction and makes no sense (survival wise) to me.

Reply 3

Mrs_F

15

ApeXaviour

It's such a stupid natural reaction and makes no sense (survival wise) to me.

True, it's a natural reaction. Which I think is why a lot of people go out and have a drink before they try to pull so that all their nerves are drowned in alcohol.

I don't think there is a cure for it really, other than to just put on an act and pretend that you are confident enough to talk to them.

Reply 4

bobbob

11

Alcohol: Helping shy people with the opposite sex since 4000BC

Reply 5

Im 19! Its only with guys who have really made an impression on me and who i think are just way out of my league! Whereas with guys who im friends with i feel comfortable with and can be myself with. i dunno really, I just have moments when i feel ugly and not attractive to men lol.

Reply 6

Mrs_F

15

bobbob

Alcohol: Helping shy people with the opposite sex since 4000BC

Yes, and it can also make things 100x worse than they already are when you wake up the next day, remember what you did, and daren't face the person ever again. :biggrin:

Reply 7

ApeXaviour

7

lynseyweth

I don't think there is a cure for it really, other than to just put on an act and pretend that you are confident enough to talk to them.

That's really good advice actually..

Reply 8

I have exactly the same thing, and everyone gets it. The only way to get over it is to not be scared of rejection as that is the source of the nerves. How you get rid of the fear is up to you, but perhaps just trying and being rejected enough times to not care either way.

Reply 9

Mrs_F

15

Anonymous

Im 19! Its only with guys who have really made an impression on me and who i think are just way out of my league! Whereas with guys who im friends with i feel comfortable with and can be myself with. i dunno really, I just have moments when i feel ugly and not attractive to men lol.

Ah, we all feel like that sometimes. You just need a bit of confidence in yourself (easier said than done though, I know).
It is easy to be yourself with friends, rather than men you are attracted to, but try and pretend that these other men are just your friends as well (easier said than done again I know).

Reply 10

yeah thats true :biggrin:

I try to tell myself that if they reject me then they arent worth my time anyway... but I always forget that point when Im actually face to face with someone I really fancy!

Reply 11

lil_sweetie

1

I'm like that, get so shy, try and act confident and cool but normallu end up saying something stupid. I don't recommend alcohol. This could give totally the wrong impression, because you might do something even more stupid! It's going to sound so unhelpful, but just spend more time with them and you will learn to be yourself around them. Good luck x x

Reply 12

Nakeli

Anonymous

When im around guys that i dont fancy but am friends with I am my normal confident and happy self, but as soon as I'm with a guy i fancy myself I just freeze up!
How can I act confident like I normally do when its someone that I actually like?! I end up looking like Im really stupid and have nothing to say, when in fact thats not how i normally act at all lol :rolleyes:

Anyone else get this problem of being shy around guys they like, and how can i just be myself around them :redface:

Omg I think we are the same person.

I also cannot talk to people I like. It sucks cos I'm not a shy person, in fact around my mates I'm quite the joker and attention-seeker! But when I'm near a guy I may like, even just a little bit, I stand there in silence like a total plank. :frown:

Reply 13

Eien

16

Some people deal with shyness in different ways - some people act outgoing and gregarious, while inside they are nervous, or like me, are quiet. It is a natural reaction to stumble over words as you are imagining all the worst possible outcomes and impressions you could possibly create. The best way to overcome this is to greet someone immediately - when you see them, talk to them straight away and go for it - that way you would have started conversation without any time to worry what the outcome might be and conversation will be easier.

Reply 14

ApeXaviour

7

Eien

The best way to overcome this is to greet someone immediately - when you see them, talk to them straight away and go for it .

Good advice.. I usually do that actually. The problem is then what?

Example
"Hey, how are you, nice to see you. What's up?"
"Oh the usual"
"Same here"
**Awkward silence (now this is where I fumble)
"Em... so.. Hows your mother?"

I actually did that not so long ago. :redface:

I don't know anything of her mother! It just came out randomly cos my mind was screaming at me to say something, ANYTHING..

Reply 15

Mrs_F

15

ApeXaviour

Good advice.. I usually do that actually. The problem is then what?

Example
"Hey, how are you, nice to see you. What's up?"
"Oh the usual"
"Same here"
**Awkward silence (now this is where I fumble)
"Em... so.. Hows your mother?"

I actually did that not so long ago. :redface:

I don't know anything of her mother! It just came out randomly cos my mind was screaming at me to say something, ANYTHING..

Lol, I'm so sorry but that really made me laugh. I suppose it isn't really funny. Sorry. :redface:

Reply 16

Nakeli

Lol it's hilarious! The worst is when you try to make a joke, and everyone just stares, and you can almost visibly see the tumbleweed rolling past... *gulp*

Reply 17

DrAtomic

1

haha yes that happens to me too! i'm so silent and shy around guys i really like.. it's terrible.. some people i know can just go up to guys they like and talk to them and be normal and everything. i don't know how they do it!

Reply 18

Bob123

What you should do is go somewhere with a load of people you dont have a clue who they are and just walk up to them with the intention of getting there number JUST FOR S*** AND GIGGLES.
It will be realy embaracing at first and your bound to make a tit out of your self but if your never going to meet them again who cares. After a while you will find your self getting far more confident, That would completly solve your problem but it takes serious balls.