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Why did he do that? Or why do guys go for the easy option?...

For the past two months, me and this guy (lets call him Cecil) have become closer in terms of friendship. We used to merely be aquaintances but for some reason we've been talking lots and lots, and there's been a lot of flirting too.

Mainly on his part, because I'm annoyingly hostile. But I tried my best. He always told me how beautiful I was, he'd make an effort to talk to me more, to sit next to me in the pub and so on...

Last Friday we went for a meal, albiet a group meal for my best friends birthday. He sat next to me, and the usual compliments came out and I shyly said "thank you" and probaly blushed a lot... But for some sort of reason nothing happened with us again

I was 99.9% sure he actually fancied me...

On Christmas Eve, I was at work and I realised how much I liked him... I've got to know him as a friend and I havent attatched stupid idealism to him like I normally do with guys. And everything was full of hope. I vowed to not be so hostile with him next time I saw him.

New Years came. Fancy dress party. I was going to get him for Midnight kiss... About an hour before he asked me if I wanted to be his Midnight kiss. I said "Maybe..." in what I thought sounded like a yes. At the time it did, now looking back I think it was more of a no sounding maybe (Pathetic, Lame? ME!).

I couldn't find him at midnight...

Later on I found him in the arms of a slut...

I was then subjected to how he had such a wicked time at the party on msn last night. Thank you dear... ¬_¬

But I was so sure he wanted me. How could I (and all my friends) be completely wrong?

And why do guys for the easy option (who wasnt even wearing fancy dress just high street slut clothes) rather then the classy option?...

I feel entirely utterly heartbroken right now. My friends all think he was doing it to make me jealous, but I doubt that...

I just need advice about what to do next. Crap start to 2006.

Hope you all had better 2006s xxx

Reply 1

Indus1986

4

lol...

Reply 2

MagicNMedicine

20

if you described yourself as "annoyingly hostile" then that could be the root of it....I know that you probably dont mean to come over like that and it might be just because of shyness but some girls like the idea of being chased, and the wonder of if something "might happen"...look at it from his perspective, if he was showing interest and you seemed ambivalent then it wouldn't necessarily have come over as being cool or hard to get, he might have just thought you were dropping the hint that you didn't like him in "that way"

evidently this slut was not quite as ambivalent

Reply 3

erk

14

He was probably pissed, the easy option? it sounds like he got pissed off because you were so off/'hard' if you like. perhaps you should put in some of the work? perhaps he's getting mixed signals off you? and yeh.. the jealousy thing could be very very true.

Reply 4

Tyler Durden

17

Anonymous

(lets call him Cecil)

You've really gone off him then... :p:

Anyway, as to the issue at hand - sounds like you gave him negative signals and he thought he fancied a NY kiss. Just one of those things. Doesn't mean your chances are over though. Explain to him that you like him and that you didn't want to make him feel otherwise. Arrange to meet up sometime in the next week or two and see how it goes (and try not to be so hostile towards him! :biggrin:

)

Reply 5

beecher

2

Maybe he thought you rejected him. Like you said "I'm annoyingly hostile" "more of a no sounding maybe"

Reply 6

hhhhhhhhhhppppp

2

agh forget bout him. If really felt anything for you then he would have kissed you at midnight, not the "slut" lol. And plus if he actually cared for you and your feelings he wouldn't have gone on about how great it was on msn. Forget bout him - u deserve someone better.

Reply 7

Slice'N'Dice

2

Anonymous

For the past two months, me and this guy (lets call him Cecil) have become closer in terms of friendship. We used to merely be aquaintances but for some reason we've been talking lots and lots, and there's been a lot of flirting too.

Mainly on his part, because I'm annoyingly hostile. But I tried my best. He always told me how beautiful I was, he'd make an effort to talk to me more, to sit next to me in the pub and so on...

Last Friday we went for a meal, albiet a group meal for my best friends birthday. He sat next to me, and the usual compliments came out and I shyly said "thank you" and probaly blushed a lot... But for some sort of reason nothing happened with us again

I was 99.9% sure he actually fancied me...

On Christmas Eve, I was at work and I realised how much I liked him... I've got to know him as a friend and I havent attatched stupid idealism to him like I normally do with guys. And everything was full of hope. I vowed to not be so hostile with him next time I saw him.

New Years came. Fancy dress party. I was going to get him for Midnight kiss... About an hour before he asked me if I wanted to be his Midnight kiss. I said "Maybe..." in what I thought sounded like a yes. At the time it did, now looking back I think it was more of a no sounding maybe (Pathetic, Lame? ME!).

I couldn't find him at midnight...

Later on I found him in the arms of a slut...

I was then subjected to how he had such a wicked time at the party on msn last night. Thank you dear... ¬_¬

But I was so sure he wanted me. How could I (and all my friends) be completely wrong?

And why do guys for the easy option (who wasnt even wearing fancy dress just high street slut clothes) rather then the classy option?...

I feel entirely utterly heartbroken right now. My friends all think he was doing it to make me jealous, but I doubt that...

I just need advice about what to do next. Crap start to 2006.

Hope you all had better 2006s xxx

Well, there's your problem for a start. Why did you say "Maybe"?

Reply 8

Adam83

12

u didnt do anything wrong. feel sorry for you.
dont take it too bad
he would have found you if he wanted to although it is possible you put him off.
that msn thing doesnt sound like it though

Reply 9

*~Emma~*

1

I'd speak to him....tell him how you feel and the signals you thought you were getting from him. And if you can, do it face to face. It's the only way to stop being so confused and find out what he actually thinks. :smile:

He may not realise that you feel that way about him.

Reply 10

Bexxxx

14

It was probably the drink, though you havent really been giving him positive, i like you loads, signals! :p:

Maybe, if you still like him, tell him that you wish you were his midnight kiss? Then if all else fails pass it off as a joke! But lifes too short to hang aound. :smile:

Reply 11

Thanks for the tips.

He doesnt drink... so he wasnt drunk. He knew what he was doing. And I don't drink either... I was aiming for sober love :p:

But alas...

See, I am lame. My friends keep on saying "Ah you're not lame" But I so am, it's nice to see people agreeing with me! I have no idea why I said "Maybe" I was surrounded by people and assumed he was joking about it... Because I'm lame. Exceedingly lame, the lamest of the lame.

Reply 12

Adam83

12

prolly not as lame as me.

maybe you'll get better. n you wont say maybe next time

Reply 13

naelse

15

You still have time to fix it if you explain and apologise... But don't blame him for 'taking the easy option'. It sounds like he was just sick of playing games and his question was a last ditch attempt to see if you liked him. You rejected him, so he went elsewhere. It's not rocket science.

Reply 14

Harv616

9

Maybe he was just lonly and took whoever he could get after you didt say yes?

Talk to him about it!

Reply 15

Mark_UK

I think you need to make it more clear what you really want. Like you should have said yes not maybe lol. I used to be like that tbh but you need to make it clear. He probably went with that other girl just for the sake of it, she was up for it and he just wanted to make the best of his night.

Reply 16

pggirl

I think he just wanted to get you in bed, hence the compliments and his action!

Reply 17

34253

2

If he was after the easy option then why did he spend months working on you? Perhaps he wasnt so much after the easy option as he was after an option at all?

Reply 18

Introspecktive..

I've noticed that the majority of the females have sided with the Thread Starter. I personally think it is your fault... As far as I know, you had no reason to play hard-to-get and reply with a "maybe". You like him, and from what you've said he really likes you, in terms of the compliments and the extra bit of effort in trying to sit next to you, talk to you more, etc. If I was in the same situation - done all the right things - and got a no-sounding maybe, then I would have been kinda pissed off, leading to extra drinking, leading to kissing any decent looking girl at midnight.

Sorry if I've sounded a little bit harsh or anything, but honesty is the best policy, except when it comes to parents.

And:

I think he just wanted to get you in bed, hence the compliments and his action!

What else does a guy have to do? He was kind, polite, courteous, etc. What girl doesn't like being given compliments? ESPECIALLY when they're "beautiful" as opposed to "fit" or "hot" or w/e. Trust me, he wouldn't use beautiful if he just wanted some that night. And, they've been friends for 10 months? Who would spend 10 months trying to get a girl in bed? Nobody I know would.

Reply 19

One-Prophecy

I've noticed that the majority of the females have sided with the Thread Starter. I personally think it is your fault... As far as I know, you had no reason to play hard-to-get and reply with a "maybe". You like him, and from what you've said he really likes you, in terms of the compliments and the extra bit of effort in trying to sit next to you, talk to you more, etc. If I was in the same situation - done all the right things - and got a no-sounding maybe, then I would have been kinda pissed off, leading to extra drinking, leading to kissing any decent looking girl at midnight.

Sorry if I've sounded a little bit harsh or anything, but honesty is the best policy, except when it comes to parents.

And:

What else does a guy have to do? He was kind, polite, courteous, etc. What girl doesn't like being given compliments? ESPECIALLY when they're "beautiful" as opposed to "fit" or "hot" or w/e. Trust me, he wouldn't use beautiful if he just wanted some that night. And, they've been friends for 10 months? Who would spend 10 months trying to get a girl in bed? Nobody I know would.

Ah you make lots of sense thank you. Oh no, I appreciate honesty, you're not harsh at all. I need that kick up the backside.

I'm thinking of writing him an email

"Hey,

Sorry I've been hostile with you for so long. I don't mean it at all.

I didn't mean to say “Maybe” I really meant “Yes” on Saturday. And then I couldn't find you... "

Or something. I figured, if this was the movies (and we both want to work in movies, behind the scenes) then it would and should be me to make some sort of over-wrought romantic gesture. As I'm not romantic, an email will have to do in this modern age.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone, I'm utterly pathetically useless, as you'll probaly all agree!

I'll stop baffling...

Why did he do that? Or why do guys go for the easy option?...

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