The Student Room Group

being submissive & shy

i don't know if i've posted this is the right section but ah well.

i'm quite shy & submissive..if someone says something to me that i don't particularly like, i'll take it in, not bother to fight back or stand my ground.

recently, the girls at my work have been making little comments (they are around 23/24ish, i'm 18). what they say isn't paricularly nasty, but i don't usually say anything back. i mean, i'll just agree or whatever. anyway, this weekend, i was at work & when i was helping some customers out, two of the girls started sniggering and laughing..i thought nothing of it but then they made comments like 'you sounded confused when you were with that customer, like you didn't know what you were doing..'. and then later, the two girls were talking about something & i asked them what they were talking about. they just replied with 'your too young to know!' i feel like they treat me like a child, and are very patronising when they talk to me.

as well as this, i feel that just because i am the youngest person working in the shop, the girls take me for granted. eg. if customers are waiting at the till, they'll be like 'get on the till!'

when comments like these are made, i just do as they say. but now, i feel like I DONT want to do what they tell me all the time, i DONT want to be taken for granted. :frown: its just getting me down because i feel angry whenever i'm at work because of the way they treat me. i really want to stand my ground & as much as i force myself to, i never do in the end and just take whatever they say. :frown:

what can i do?
Just tell them to stop being so childish and facetious. Chances are, if you stand up to them they'll back you down.

MB
Reply 2
Anonymous
i don't know if i've posted this is the right section but ah well.

i'm quite shy & submissive..if someone says something to me that i don't particularly like, i'll take it in, not bother to fight back or stand my ground.

recently, the girls at my work have been making little comments (they are around 23/24ish, i'm 18). what they say isn't paricularly nasty, but i don't usually say anything back. i mean, i'll just agree or whatever. anyway, this weekend, i was at work & when i was helping some customers out, two of the girls started sniggering and laughing..i thought nothing of it but then they made comments like 'you sounded confused when you were with that customer, like you didn't know what you were doing..'. and then later, the two girls were talking about something & i asked them what they were talking about. they just replied with 'your too young to know!' i feel like they treat me like a child, and are very patronising when they talk to me.

as well as this, i feel that just because i am the youngest person working in the shop, the girls take me for granted. eg. if customers are waiting at the till, they'll be like 'get on the till!'

when comments like these are made, i just do as they say. but now, i feel like I DONT want to do what they tell me all the time, i DONT want to be taken for granted. :frown: its just getting me down because i feel angry whenever i'm at work because of the way they treat me. i really want to stand my ground & as much as i force myself to, i never do in the end and just take whatever they say. :frown:

what can i do?


Are you new? If so its probably the reason when someone else starts you should feel more confident. Try being more assertive and compromise, when they tell you to go on the till question them, ask them if one of them wants to swap in half an hour etc.
Reply 3
If you want something done, be aggressive. Just tell them to **** off, or stand up to them in a way in which they won't just laugh at you. That's the only way childish people like them will understand
Reply 4
Don't worry! I'm also shy and don't know how to react someone criticises me to my face (or behind my back and then I find out :mad: )....
If I were you I would just try to show those women that you're better than what they're saying and don't take the bait. Don't show them that you're upset by their comments, because they're obviously looking to provoke a reaction from you. This is often quite difficult for me, coz I don't like pretending nothing is wrong...
Reply 5
Optimistic
If you want something done, be aggressive. Just tell them to **** off, or stand up to them in a way in which they won't just laugh at you. That's the only way childish people like them will understand


lol doubt it that would give them a reason to laugh and start being nasty towards her.
Reply 6
Don't be agressive. :smile: Just try to be more social. Ask them random questions, tell them about yourself...

I used to be like that too but it changed a lot as I grew older so don't worry! :smile:


(Heh, when I just read the thread title I was gonna reply "being submissive is not a bad thing" :biggrin: good thing I read on.)