Importance of a Partner.

At 18, how seriously should one take a partner?

My mums opinion is that someones partner should be the most important person in their life, their closest friend, and the person who comes first in everything.

Ok, so I can kinda see what she means. But. At 18, when you've been with someone for 2 months (and have only known that exact time) is it right that they then become *the* most important person in the world? The person who means everything above everyone and everything else? I realise they aren't supposed to replace friends, there is a different relationship made, but... What would everyones general reaction be if your best friend suddenly prioritised their partner in such a way you felt you weren't "needed" anymore? If it seemed as though, if there really was a choice, it wouldn't be difficult for them to choose the partner?

I'm having a slight dilemma as to whether im wrong to be feeling the way I am. And as to whether I should just swallow my pride and forget about it all..

Reply 1

latentcorpse

12

feel what you want mate

i just read that and it sounds bad - auch i can't do this without abusing mods and swearing so i won't edit it - you know what i mean

Reply 2

Mrs_F

15

I suppose it depends how you feel about the person. If you fall in love then they automatically become the most important person and you don't need to question it. If you don't feel ready for this kind of committment then maybe you aren't ready for a relationship just yet?

Reply 3

emily87

9

Anonymous

At 18, how seriously should one take a partner?

My mums opinion is that someones partner should be the most important person in their life, their closest friend, and the person who comes first in everything.

Ok, so I can kinda see what she means. But. At 18, when you've been with someone for 2 months (and have only known that exact time) is it right that they then become *the* most important person in the world? The person who means everything above everyone and everything else? I realise they aren't supposed to replace friends, there is a different relationship made, but... What would everyones general reaction be if your best friend suddenly prioritised their partner in such a way you felt you weren't "needed" anymore? If it seemed as though, if there really was a choice, it wouldn't be difficult for them to choose the partner?

I'm having a slight dilemma as to whether im wrong to be feeling the way I am. And as to whether I should just swallow my pride and forget about it all..

I think they needn't be the most important thing at all, it of course depends on the relationship. At 18 you're probably not expecting to get engaged...

Just as long as you don't forget that the person you are with is very important to think of as you are someone that can have a big impact on their feelings and life.

But just have fun!

Reply 4

SlyPie

12

TWO MONTHS? That's nothing at all.

Firstly, your mother is wrong. The chances of a romantic relationship working out is less than 50%, and a parent should always put his/her child first, not partner. Secondly, two months is nothing. You definitely can't know a person well in two months. Thirdly, at 18 that person's own future should be first priority, not a relationship. Fourthly, from what I've read, I reckon you are the best friend? It's normal to feel bad if a best friend ditches you for a bf/gf they hardly know, but it shouldn't get you too down as long as you guys are still decent friends.

Reply 5

Harv616

9

Its different from person to person.

Peronsly when i find a girl she is the most important thing in my world, and id do anything for her. But like i said its different from person to person, you may not feel this way. Most girls i have found dont have guys very high up on their list.

Reply 6

toiletwall

I would definitely disagree with your mum. 2 Months is not long, and plus your friends you obviously will rely on for different reasons than that a girlfriend/boyfriend. I wouldn't want to think my boyfriend replaces his friends by me either. Maybe after afew more months/if you fall in love but it doesn't mean you're a bad person/not ready for a relationship, just maybe you're not such a needy person? Well wrong term but still, not so "hung up" over a relationship.

bro's before hoes

Sir Joe

bro's before hoes

SO TRUE!!

Reply 9

SlyPie

12

Sir Joe

bro's before hoes

Yes, and sisters before shovels.

It's HO, not hoe.

Reply 10

Drogue

19

To me, my lover is always the most important person in the world to me. If I love someone, then that's not a conditional feeling, it means I'd rather be with them than anyone else.

If I'm not in love, then it would just be who I'm closest to. I have close friends, so probably not, but I have a nasty habit of neglecting friends a little during relationships :redface:

Importance of a Partner.

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