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parents putting you down

Almost every time something like the end of x factor comes on or they see someone my age who's successful my mum can't resist commenting about how they have done their parents proud, made them wealthy so they won't have to work again etc and here I am dependant on them. When that 17/18 year old tennis player came on once my aunty was here and said to my mum in front of me 'yeah shes an old timer compared to her' cause I play tennis do sport as a hobby ect. Not only is it really annoying it makes me feel guilty!!

Does this happen to any of you lot? lol.Should I just ignore it all?

Reply 1

Chumsky

Yeah happens to me a bit!

I just blamed it on them not trying to force sports or really anything on me when i was young!

Seems to do the trick. :P

Reply 2

*River

15

Ignore it. I get it continually.

Reply 3

Segat1

16

Either take your mum aside and ask her if she has any underlying issues with you not fulfilling the ideal dreams she had for you and if so please cease to put you down about it, or next time she does it yell at her and embarrass her. She's embarrassing you, so don't fee guilty. Are you a bum or at uni, school etc etc??

Reply 4

IzzTheGreat

10

My parents are like that, and it really hurts! I don't know what to say really, except to try and be confident in your own abilities, and think about how screwed up these young celebrities are going to end up!

Reply 5

emilyemily

That sucks. Try not to let it make you feel guilty. As long as you're happy with your life, that's what matters.

Reply 6

always + forever

1

Just ignore it - remind them that there are more people their age (rather than yours) who are fabulously wealthy and successful, and so your percieved failure is NOTHING compared to theirs. Also, I'm sure there are many children who are wonderfully proud of their parents, and have been so successful that their children don't have to worry about earning a living. Remind your mother of this.

Reply 7

Leigh

15

Say something like "I was going to get rich but then I decided to just wate my childhood and just have kids and moan about how they should be doing everything for me so I can sit around watching X-Factor all day".

Obvious adjust the levels of sarcasm/harshness depending on how annoyed you are and she will take, but a small sharp comment should make it clear she's upsetting you; she might not even realise she's doing it.

Reply 8

alio~

OP

9

segat1

Either take your mum aside and ask her if she has any underlying issues with you not fulfilling the ideal dreams she had for you and if so please cease to put you down about it, or next time she does it yell at her and embarrass her. She's embarrassing you, so don't fee guilty. Are you a bum or at uni, school etc etc??

Was at uni but I left, now im looking to re apply to healthcare and when I went in the hospital with her a few days ago she was commenting on how the qualified nurses are only a year older than me, my aunty went with us too making it worse lol!!

I can't embarrass her nothing I say affects her I just pretend Im not bothered but she does it even more to try and bother me :eek:

Reply 9

mich2005

just ask them where they were at your age?? huh!

Reply 10

alio~

OP

9

Mylla

Just ignore it - remind them that there are more people their age (rather than yours) who are fabulously wealthy and successful, and so your percieved failure is NOTHING compared to theirs. Also, I'm sure there are many children who are wonderfully proud of their parents, and have been so successful that their children don't have to worry about earning a living. Remind your mother of this.

lol good one, they'l probably say 'your not earning a living or doing anything at the moment anyway its us that are working' though I should be soon. I'l give it a try next time :p:

Reply 11

emilyemily

If it's really upsetting you, tell them. Ask them what they're hoping to achieve by criticising you, and tell them that whatever it is, it's not working.
Good luck :smile:

Reply 12

Absinthe

1

Don't worry...my parents (well, my mum moreso than my dad) put me down all the time and think I'm a complete dosser. Incidentally, my mum has point blank refused to take me to two university interviews because she thinks I won't make it...which...helps an awful lot.

Incidentally, my very lazy self is predicted 3 As at A-level, but hey, parents right? Don't worry about it, do it for yourself. I hate parents who try to get their kids to do what they could never do...your children are completely different people to yourself.

<edit> hm, overuse of 'incidentally' there?

Reply 13

wazzup

alio~

Almost every time something like the end of x factor comes on or they see someone my age who's successful my mum can't resist commenting about how they have done their parents proud, made them wealthy so they won't have to work again etc and here I am dependant on them. When that 17/18 year old tennis player came on once my aunty was here and said to my mum in front of me 'yeah shes an old timer compared to her' cause I play tennis do sport as a hobby ect. Not only is it really annoying it makes me feel guilty!!

Does this happen to any of you lot? lol.Should I just ignore it all?

these people are born with talent.
in response tell your parents 'why didnt they give you better genes'
thats what i do.hahaha.seems to work.they ve got not excuse for it.

Reply 14

El Stevo

11

i honestly though this thread was about euthanasia. aye well.

Reply 15

Adam83

12

she wants you to be an x-factor singer and a tennis pro

hehe, make a mental list of all the contradictory things she wants you to be

Reply 16

Piers-

2

El Chueco

i honestly though this thread was about euthanasia. aye well.

Haha. Anyway alio~, I wouldn't yell at her of try to 'beat' her with a clever comment. Just tell her that it really bugs you and undermines your confidence, its unlikely she is deliberately trying to, uhh, put you down! :p:

take care

,

Piers.

Reply 17

q1w2e3r4t5y

My parents always look at my successful relatives and say ...oh she's now a lawyer at a top law firm. That other cousin of yours studied civil engineering at cambridge or whatever. Oh that other girl is doing medicine at a top uni, these people are going to be very rich and successful people. Your father is an entrepreneur with an expanding business, why don't you study business at uni, or Law, because you're rubbish at science. Don't be like that other guy who shamed the family, no because he did music and he won't get a very good job with that. What can you be? A music teacher? Hahaha, you're better off doing something that people will respect you with, especially as you're not an English person, you can't expect to be treated the same as others without being highly successful in some professional job! Don't waste your life, your father worked hard to come to this country, and so did I. The least we can expect from you is to be respectable and earn a living for yourself and your future family.

OK sorry that rant got a bit out of hand. :/