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Trapped in my old reputation

strawberrie

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(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 1

emilyemily

Yeah, I know what you mean. Don't be over the top and don't stop being yourself. People might notice a bit of a change, but if they do I'm sure they'll just be pleased for you. :smile:

Reply 2

La Trampa

18

i'm confused. the whole point of changing is that people notice it.they'll be shocked at first but then if you change become more sociable and stuff,i doubt they'll hate you for that.i bet they'll probably be pleased for you and glad you've come out of your shell.just as long as you change for the better,if you change for the worse n become i dunno a sluttish type person,then obviously they;ll see ur change as bad.

Reply 3

Katia

6

If they do indeed notice a change in you - surely it's a positive thing?

not always.

strawberrie

the only thing i find hard about changing is the fact that people will notice a change in me which makes me really anxious :eek:

There's your problem, you're anxious, always worried about how other people will see you. You have to chill out and realise, that in the nicest possible way, nobody cares as much as you think they do.

Reply 6

Dilute

15

meathead

There's your problem, you're anxious. You have to chill out and realise, that in the nicest possible way, nobody cares as much as you think they do.

Actually, they might. People are surprisingly double-standards-y. When you're expected to be a walkover or the quiet one (without loss of generality), if you start acting confident and talking to people like you have a right to, just like all the other people, people may think that you don't have a right to - just like people get really annoyed when nice teachers get angry, but they don't seem to mind when angry teachers get angry because it's the norm.

All I can suggest is - do it gradually?

Reply 7

La Trampa

18

those people who make life miserable for those coming out do it because they're jealous it's the people that know you that you listen to not some girl in your class who thinks she the 'it' girl.if the people who know and love you seem to have a problem with it,you can ask them to explain what they do/don't like.if you keep thinking the way you do,you'll never be able to be yourself.if you change before going out,who's being double standardy? (if there's such a word).just be yourself and if some people can't handle it,they should sod off.

--------------

and anyways give them a chance to see the other you and place judgement not you assuming they'll think in a certain way and not giving the new you a chance.

Reply 8

meathead

5

zhang

Actually, they might. People are surprisingly double-standards-y. When you're expected to be a walkover or the quiet one (without loss of generality), if you start acting confident and talking to people like you have a right to, just like all the other people, people may think that you don't have a right to - just like people get really annoyed when nice teachers get angry, but they don't seem to mind when angry teachers get angry because it's the norm.

All I can suggest is - do it gradually?

I still say just do it. Even if people do act weird about your change of character at first, they'll forget in days. Most people have their own problems to deal with without worrying about yours.

Now, constantly worrying about being 'out of character', and acting strangely and insecurely for months as you try to make the change in your personality as gradual as possible... that's going to make them remember.

If you don't like being shy and in the background, the first thing you must learn is how to not give a ****. I suggest you start now.

Trapped in my old reputation

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