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mum keeps saying hurtful things
My mum keeps on saying really hurtful things to me. she keeps saying I should make more of a effort with myself (I'm not really a girly girl, so does not wear makeup ect) Even when I try to look my best, she ALWAYS find some comment to make, like god I'd wish you would tidy yourself up. you look such a mess. it starts to hurt after a while. she ALWAYS goes on about my lack of makeup and lack of 'effort in myself' she keeps putting me down. what can I do to get her to stop doing it so much?
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Does your Mum make much of an effort with her appearance? I don't ask that so you can use it against her if she doesn't, I'm asking to see if she's projecting her own insecurities onto you.
When my mum does that, I just say I don't care. It usually works.
wacabac
Does your Mum make much of an effort with her appearance? I don't ask that so you can use it against her if she doesn't, I'm asking to see if she's projecting her own insecurities onto you.
fair play to her, she does
Mine is always going 'Oo.. YOU'VE put weight on..' and im like.. I SO havent', and 'your friend Lucy is a pretty girl', and im like ok...
I dont think she really notices she's doing anything. Maybe your mum is just trying to find something to talk about with you, or something that she can help you with. They ALWAYS want to be a central part in EVERYTHING.
I dont think she really notices she's doing anything. Maybe your mum is just trying to find something to talk about with you, or something that she can help you with. They ALWAYS want to be a central part in EVERYTHING.
Maybe somehow she's not aware that she does it so often and hurts your feelings - have you told her how her comments make you feel?
Hopefully once she realises, she'll make more of an effort to be nice
Hopefully once she realises, she'll make more of an effort to be nice
Excellent! lmao.
Hayley_2k4
fair play to her, she does
Although, as you say, she dresses well, she might be insecure about her appearance, and thus fusses about yours also. Why don't you ask her why she keeps saying it all the time, get down to the real reason.
wacabac
Although, as you say, she dresses well, she might be insecure about her appearance, and thus fusses about yours also. Why don't you ask her why she keeps saying it all the time, get down to the real reason.
thank you, that's a good idea. I will do that
Hayley_2k4
thank you, that's a good idea. I will do that
Don't use it as a weapon though obviously, get your mother to open up, it will do your relationship a lot of good by her confiding in you.
Zoecb
Mine's the same. She criticises my appearance constantly and always tells me how horrible I look when I leave the house. Just try and learn to ignore it.
She hides food from me as well, cos she thinks I'm fat.
She hides food from me as well, cos she thinks I'm fat.
my mum gives me extra food. lol. and then starts on me a few weeks later saying 'god you look fat'
Mine always comments on how wonderful other people's daughters look etc.
Do try not to worry. Take it in your stride. If you are happy with your appearance and comfortable with yourself then attempt to ignore her if she does bug you concerning make-up and so on. I never wear the stuff to be honest and neither does my mother but you still have and always will have other people, related or otherwise giving you advice and telling you how to dress or what you should and should not eat/wear/do...
In a way I suppose she likes to wear make up and wants you to do the same. Knowing that maybe she looks better with it on and wishes for you to look good to or a mini version of her.
Do try not to worry. Take it in your stride. If you are happy with your appearance and comfortable with yourself then attempt to ignore her if she does bug you concerning make-up and so on. I never wear the stuff to be honest and neither does my mother but you still have and always will have other people, related or otherwise giving you advice and telling you how to dress or what you should and should not eat/wear/do...
In a way I suppose she likes to wear make up and wants you to do the same. Knowing that maybe she looks better with it on and wishes for you to look good to or a mini version of her.
Ha, yeah my mother used to do this to me all the time. Now I DO wear make up, she complains that I spend too long putting it on/don't take it off properly. Be yourself. I know your mother's comments are hurtful because my own mother says a ton of rubbish to me, but you're your own person.
advantage of nearly living at uni permently..i dont get this
Zoecb
Mine's the same. She criticises my appearance constantly and always tells me how horrible I look when I leave the house. Just try and learn to ignore it.
She hides food from me as well, cos she thinks I'm fat.
She hides food from me as well, cos she thinks I'm fat.
OMG my parents do that too! They comment about my appearance everyday saying I'm obese and stuff and make jokes on it too
They dont let me eat food in between meals and im not allowed to eat certain food.
THey do it beacause they want their children to be perfect, and to be perhaps what they wished they were when they were younger? It hurts loads I know, but Im so used to it now that I ignore it
awww, dont worry just try to ignore it. Maybe they dont realise that it hurts you so much? when my mum realised how her comments hurt me she got a little upset. She still does it though, either complaining that I'm not eating enough, and when I eat what she tells me too that I'm too fat and eating too much, and comparing me to my sis. Maybe its just a parent thing?
Hayley_2k4
My mum keeps on saying really hurtful things to me. she keeps saying I should make more of a effort with myself (I'm not really a girly girl, so does not wear makeup ect) Even when I try to look my best, she ALWAYS find some comment to make, like god I'd wish you would tidy yourself up. you look such a mess. it starts to hurt after a while. she ALWAYS goes on about my lack of makeup and lack of 'effort in myself' she keeps putting me down. what can I do to get her to stop doing it so much?
you are just like monica and her mother from friends! gg.
k well that didn't help.. but meh.. tell her to f!#* off because it is your life and you should be able to live it how you want, and look like you want to. GOGO!
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