The Student Room Group

Not even pulled in many years :(

:mad: Hi im nearly 18 and ive not a pulled a girl in over 3 years and in my life have only pulled 2 girls.
My confidence is dented because of this although i wouldnt say i am unconfident.
I find it easy speaking to girls but never know when to make the next move if you get my drift...
Ive not done anything else with a girl except snog and that has been limited.
Anyways my question is how can i get out of this mode
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.
I go out clubbing and am a social guy but never ever seems to happen.
Have you got any tips to make me a more confident individual who is not scared of rejection???
My main fear is rejection i never know whether to "go for it" etc.
Anyways i need some advice,
thanks for any advice given :smile:
:frown:

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im 18 and have NEVER pulled a girl. in fact i've never even had a proper kiss *blush*
my tip would be to just go for it, get used to rejection, its not a feeling that lasts long, and what have you got to lose really? (this is in cases where you're not already friends with the girl, e.g. meeting a girl clubbing, etc.)
Reply 3
im scared of rejection too- but i guess you just have to go for it if it feels right... ive learnt in the past year that if you really like someone chances are that they'lll really like you too- if your rejected then all you can do is apologise- and try to make sure things dont get akward...at least then you;ll know you tried- and you wont always have to worry
Just go for it... Everyone will get rejected sometime. It's just part of the learning curve. Also, take some chances - you're mos def not going to get a snog if you don't go for it, because girls in this society/culture have this crazy idea that men should do all the work. It's not right, but its the way things are...
Reply 5
I'm just 18, can still count the girls I've kissed on one hand, but recently started a serious relationship that's going strong and well.

I'd say it depends what you are looking for.
If you're looking to be like your brother and pull lots of girls with little attachment, then the only thing to really do is to work on it. Go out clubbing, maybe have a couple of drinks, and just be bold; you don't know if you don't try. You may get rejected occassionally, but if you don't let it get you down; not everyone is looking for the same things as you, don't take it personally, you'll eventually build up some confidence, and I think that'll help alot, that's what girls often look for.

If you are looking for something more serious (like I was), then there's not much else you need to be doing; those things can't be forced or practiced and tend to just happen so just keep your head up, be positive, and don't worry that you've not randomly kissed any girls in a while, this kind of relationship (if that's what you want) is worth waiting for.

Hope that helps.
Anonymous
:mad: Hi im nearly 18 and ive not a pulled a girl in over 3 years and in my life have only pulled 2 girls.
My confidence is dented because of this although i wouldnt say i am unconfident.
I find it easy speaking to girls but never know when to make the next move if you get my drift...
Ive not done anything else with a girl except snog and that has been limited.
Anyways my question is how can i get out of this mode
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.
I go out clubbing and am a social guy but never ever seems to happen.
Have you got any tips to make me a more confident individual who is not scared of rejection???
My main fear is rejection i never know whether to "go for it" etc.
Anyways i need some advice,
thanks for any advice given :smile:
:frown:
Mate, you're still young. Don' let it worry you yet. For all you know you could meet a girl tomorrow an be with her for many many years. We just don't know what will happen.

I guess I'm in no position to talk though. It's been two years since anything happened between me and a girl too :frown:

I guess the others in this thread who are saying to just go for it are right. We will never get anywhere (with anything) if we don't take a chance now and again. We my get rejected, but so what? At least we would have tried.

Just go for it as see what happens...I think that might be the attitude I take in the coming months :biggrin:
I've never pulled in a club or bar...
I have never even pulled a random...

*Must get out more*

:biggrin:
Reply 8
Anonymous
:mad: Hi im nearly 18 and ive not a pulled a girl in over 3 years and in my life have only pulled 2 girls.
My confidence is dented because of this although i wouldnt say i am unconfident.
I find it easy speaking to girls but never know when to make the next move if you get my drift...
Ive not done anything else with a girl except snog and that has been limited.
Anyways my question is how can i get out of this mode
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.
I go out clubbing and am a social guy but never ever seems to happen.
Have you got any tips to make me a more confident individual who is not scared of rejection???
My main fear is rejection i never know whether to "go for it" etc.
Anyways i need some advice,
thanks for any advice given :smile:
:frown:


InaSpin
I've never pulled in a club or bar...
I have never even pulled a random...

*Must get out more*

:biggrin:


Hmm fill in the gaps somebody...


Seriously though, i would reccomend just going for it.
Reply 9
There are a few things you need for pulling ::

Find drink (Dutch courage) - Don't have too much but enough so you know what you are doing.
Find an absolutly packed dance floor.
Look for all the single girls. I.e. not the ones already with a guy.
Start dancing near them.
Bumb and grind with them.
Then the key bit - Which works most of the time - TRY AND HOLD HANDS WITH THEM. - You can be quite sly when your doing this, specially in a crowded place. - this lets them know that you are interested in them.
Then you can start dancing with them.
Then make your move - If they like you/are drunk enough then your in. If not then just walk away.

Thats about all the advise I can give.

Sounds a bit cheesy but its worked everytime when I've tried it, and i'm no Brad Pitt.
Reply 10
Anonymous
There are a few things you need for pulling ::

Find drink (Dutch courage) - Don't have too much but enough so you know what you are doing.
Find an absolutly packed dance floor.
Look for all the single girls. I.e. not the ones already with a guy.
Start dancing near them.
Bumb and grind with them.
Then the key bit - Which works most of the time - TRY AND HOLD HANDS WITH THEM. - You can be quite sly when your doing this, specially in a crowded place. - this lets them know that you are interested in them.
Then you can start dancing with them.
Then make your move - If they like you/are drunk enough then your in. If not then just walk away.

Thats about all the advise I can give.

Sounds a bit cheesy but its worked everytime when I've tried it, and i'm no Brad Pitt.

Predatory behaviour if ever I saw it! Whatever happened to wooing a girl and seeing where the evening took you, eh?
Reply 11
blissy
Predatory behaviour if ever I saw it! Whatever happened to wooing a girl and seeing where the evening took you, eh?


Think that went round about the times they replaced horse and cart with automobiles!
Anonymous
:mad: Hi im nearly 18 and ive not a pulled a girl in over 3 years and in my life have only pulled 2 girls.
My confidence is dented because of this although i wouldnt say i am unconfident.
I find it easy speaking to girls but never know when to make the next move if you get my drift...
Ive not done anything else with a girl except snog and that has been limited.
Anyways my question is how can i get out of this mode
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.
I go out clubbing and am a social guy but never ever seems to happen.
Have you got any tips to make me a more confident individual who is not scared of rejection???
My main fear is rejection i never know whether to "go for it" etc.
Anyways i need some advice,
thanks for any advice given :smile:
:frown:




Next time think to yourself "what is the worst that can happen"

The worse that can happen is that you'll get turned down and you'll never see her again.

Whats happening currently, Is that you're not making any moves and you're never seeing her again.


So what have you got to lose?

Really think about it the next time you're out, Because the only outcomes possible are that either A> You'll pull or B> you'll never see her again.

But B> is happening by default anyway, so you might as well give it a go to see if the possiblity of A> actually happens.
Reply 13
Anonymous
:mad: Hi im nearly 18 and ive not a pulled a girl in over 3 years and in my life have only pulled 2 girls.
My confidence is dented because of this although i wouldnt say i am unconfident.
I find it easy speaking to girls but never know when to make the next move if you get my drift...
Ive not done anything else with a girl except snog and that has been limited.
Anyways my question is how can i get out of this mode
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.
I go out clubbing and am a social guy but never ever seems to happen.
Have you got any tips to make me a more confident individual who is not scared of rejection???
My main fear is rejection i never know whether to "go for it" etc.
Anyways i need some advice,
thanks for any advice given :smile:
:frown:
Aww diddums.

You know there is many a guy our age who has never pulled so it is not as if you are suffering some massive hardship. Besides if you can't "go for it" women will for the most part see that as pusillanimity which trust me, isn't attractive to the female mind.
Reply 14
Ha! You haven't pulled in three years? Boo-hoo, I have never even come close in my life to it, you'll be fine soon... just be confident and someone who knows what he wants as well as having a mind of your own rather than always agreeing with her and that will form the basis of being attractive... the trick is GAINING confidence for many people...
Reply 15
Four times, between the ages of sixteen and nineteen; but, given a face like mine, I'd deem that worthy of an accolade.

Besides which, it's reputed to become easier as one gets older (and the women, proportionately, worse).
Reply 16
Profesh
Four times; but, given a face like mine, I'd deem that worthy of an accolade.
Not necessarily, attracting girls is as more about projecting a masculine personlity than it is an attraction to visual masculinity.
Reply 17
ferrus
Not necessarily, attracting girls is as more about projecting a masculine personlity than it is an attraction to visual masculinity.


Neither of which I can honestly attest.


Ah; right. I see.
Reply 18
Profesh
Neither of which I can honestly attest.
Are you a good actor though?
Reply 19
Anonymous
I wouldnt say i am an ugly person but i see my brother who is regearded as a "pimp" which gets me down now and then.


Rejoice, then: for at least you do not suffer the curious and unenviable disposition of being 'ugly' in several dimensions at once.

ferrus
Are you a good actor though?


I've reason to believe that such may be the case; yes.