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Maiden name

How would you feel if someone who got married kept her maiden name?
Is it a sign of lack of commitment?

Reply 1

Tarts_n_Vicars

13

And the need for this thread to be anonymous is.....?

Reply 2

dogtanian

16

I'm considering it (should I get married).

There're less than fifty people in the country with my name!

In all seriousness though, how can it be a lack of commitment? The marriage bit suggests a woman not all that commitment-phobic...

If I were male, I wouldn't take it personally.

A lot of women don't like how their name and title is wholly dependent on a man. Traditionally, when your birth is registered, you take your father's surname and later have the title Miss. When you marry, you take your husbands surname and have the title Mrs. Yet a man always has the same surname, and is known as Mr for his whole life (Yes, sometimes they're Mstr, but that's not often, and depends only on their own age, not another man).

Reply 3

Wild Thing

11

I want to keep my maiden name. SIgn of independence. How is that anonymous worthy though??

Reply 4

dogtanian

16

Tarts_n_Vicars

And the need for this thread to be anonymous is.....?

And that.

unless someone on TSR is about to propose!

Reply 5

Tarts_n_Vicars

And the need for this thread to be anonymous is.....?

I don't want my fiance to see it...

Reply 6

Kingspharm

10

A lot of women keep their original surname these days. My wife changed her name to mine, but I wouldn't be bothered if she hadn't.

Reply 7

Phonicsdude

19

If my fiancé wishes to keep her maiden name then I shall chain her to the oven and force her to bake me bread/pies/cakes (mmmm....chocolate..!) until she changes her mind.
Besides, if she loves her family name that much she can change her christian name to it by deed poll.

(I wouldnt be too bothered, but it is traditional. I wouldnt be too bothered if she didnt want to wear a wedding ring (as long as I had kept the receipt ^o) ) She would also get taunted for being a feminist till kingdom come.

Reply 8

ciara

13

Phonicsdude

If my fiancé wishes to keep her maiden name then I shall chain her to the oven and force her to bake me bread/pies/cakes (mmmm....chocolate..!) until she changes her mind.
Besides, if she loves her family name that much she can change her christian name to it by deed poll.

Ah PD, I never knew :rolleyes:

.

I think, predictably enough, that every woman has a right to keep her maiden name without there being any kind of backlash. Sometimes the husband's name if just dumb, sometimes it's practical for other reasons, and sometimes maybe the woman just prefers her own name. Who cares? However, I think I'll probably take my husband's name unless it's something really bad like Periwinkle.

Reply 9

Mata

16

If someone is ever stupid enough to marry me, I'm taking *his* name because my maiden name is absolutely evil.

In fact, I may choose a husband based on his surname.

Reply 10

Manatee

14

I definitely plan to keep my name if I ever get married. My boyfriend is aware of this and it doesn't bother him (and, if it did, it wouldn't make me change my mind). I don't think that not wanting to change your name shows a lack of commitment - I simply don't see why a woman should automatically discard her name when she gets married. Having said that, I might be tempted to change it if my name was hideous in some way :wink:

.

Reply 11

Phonicsdude

19

ciara

Ah PD, I never knew :rolleyes:

.

OK, perhaps it should have read, 'if a fiancé of mine...'

Reply 12

Manatee

14

Phonicsdude

OK, perhaps it should have read, 'if a fiancé of mine...'

I don't mean to be pedantic (well, perhaps I do) but it's "fiancée", not "fiancé" (unless, of course, you plan to marry another man, which is entirely legitimate :wink:

).

Reply 13

ciara

13

Manatee

I don't mean to be pedantic (well, perhaps I do) but it's "fiancée", not "fiancé" (unless, of course, you plan to marry another man, which is entirely legitimate :wink:

).

My point exactly :p:

.

Reply 14

Stefan_M

10

If I had a fiancée then I would not really mind if she decided to keep her maiden name if we were going to get married. The reason I say this is because if we were both fine with the arrangement and loved one another, then I believe that it would not really affect our way of life, as we would just be announcing our love to each other on a legal term.

Besides, keeping your maiden name shows a statement that one is proud of one's surname, however in saying this it might get a little confusing if we ever had children, however I suppose you could combat this problem by giving the children a double-barrel surname, using both surnames?

Now that I have said all of this, which I hope is of some use to you anonymous, I just need to go and find a girlfriend and get the plan into action! :biggrin:

Reply 15

Exoskeletal

1

i would keep my maiden name because i like it and i have a career where i couldn't afford to be changing my name, it'd be a bad idea.

my mum kept her maiden name for the same reason - recognition - even though it was a silly name.
she took my dads surname once they'd had a few kids together, for the same reason - recognition, albeit a different kind.

Reply 16

Phonicsdude

19

Leave me alone. Ive just woken up.

Reply 17

Zoecb

11

I don't think it's a lack of commitment. Some people just like their name. I don't like mine, I'll be happy to change it when I get married. Although if my fiance had an even crapper name than me I might be inclined to keep mine!

Reply 18

Catski

I don't think a woman should feel obliged to take her husband's surname. I don't particularly like my surname, but if I was already established in a career or business, I definitely would consider keeping it if only because I would have built a reputation and recognition centred on my maiden name. I would consider the fact that I was wearing a wedding ring to be sufficient as an outward sign of commitment. Any man who insisted that I took his name would probably seem to me to be quite self-centred anyway; I am my own person and that wouldn't change if my marital status did.

Reply 19

always + forever

1

I'll keep mine - there are about 6 ppl the in UK with my surname; the only way it will continue is if I keep it, and give it in some form to my son (if I have one!)

Otherwise the name will die and my family will become extinct :eek:

Maiden name

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