What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

Breakdown?

Not that I wish to discuss my personal life on a public forum as such, but I feel I have no alternative. Or no one to get advice from.

I've just split up with my girlfriend of 5 years before the christmas break for good. It went all wrong November 5th 05. I'm the most loyal guy ever, and would never cheat on my girlfriend having proved that many a time.

It hurt a lot, more than anyone is likely to feel unless in a similar position. I hadn't shed a tear until last week when my brothers girlfriend pestered me about being down whilst at a restaurant with my family. I had to quickly get out of view of my parents as I was literally feeling devastated. My brothers girlfriend instantly knew and pursuaded me to cry. I don't think I have ever cried like that before in my life and it upsets me that I did.

I feel I can't tell my family or open up. My friends are heartless that couldn't even feel supportive around a couple of other friends that have recently had father and friend pass away lately. Very good mates, but still can't.

I need help. I know i'm feeling bad and time is a great heeler and all, but some of the thoughts i've been having are not good. I was travelling along A40 into London a few days ago at 50mph coming back home at around 4am after seeing friends. I don't know why, but I just gradually put my foot on the pedal until I was doing over 100mph in wet icy conditions with a big curves and a long drop. I was seriously hoping that I could have the guts to jerk my wheel left or right. I know this is wrong, but feels so right. And it still kind of feels right.

Being a bit scared of the winter darkness doesn't help at all and I pray for daylight. I can't sleep, can't eat having lost a stone in a month from 11 to 10 stone.

I'm doing well at Uni, but I know I'm going to fail it or give it in unless I do something about this. What can I do. Where can I go to for support and can anyone recommend something to make it a bit easier?

Thanks.

I've posted this thread as anonymous as I feel I shouldn't be acting like this. Its just not me to be like this.

Reply 1

MNBStyle

Surely you know someone is going to suggest counselling its your only option

Reply 2

hitmanuk2k

So what was it that went wrong in the relationship, if you didn't cheat, and presumably she didn't?

Reply 3

Jack0

I feel for you dude, five years is a long time and if anything it's a complete and utter culture shock being single again. I should know as I'm going through the same stuff as you right now, having been with my ex-girlfriend for four years. I know what you mean with the car thing - it can seem very tempting to totally give up on things and the timing isn't great with january exams and I guess like me you're not feeling all that motivated.

My advice would be to see a counsellor when you're back at University, and try doing some exercise - if you do already then do a different sport - just keep active. Socialise and meet new people through your friends or may be a society at Uni. In my opinion single life sucks big time but that's only because I've spent most of my teenage years in a relationship. Most of my friends in my halls are single and they seem to get by ok. It's just grinding it out and getting used to being single again - although I can find it to be a very lonely existence.

You mentioned that you might quit Uni - please don't. Don't let this girl drag you down even further. If you have exams and they don't do so well then go and see your tutor and explain the situation - they should have things like mittigating circustances or a similar system in place to take account of things which affect Uni work. Just stick with it and eventually you'll get back into things.

Can I ask how you two split up cause we'd all understand your situation a little better if we knew?

Reply 4

thegame26

to see a doc :smile:

good luck

Reply 5

President_Ben

Stay safe.

Cry if you feel like it. It's ok.

Don't listen to too much music. Especially if it has lyrics.

Watch more comedy that you in particular find funny even if no one else does. Try to smile and laugh at the end of each day.

edit: try to see a counsellor, counselling doesn't suit everyone or work for everyone and is no quick fix either

Reply 6

PapeeChumo

I think it's just to easy to say to you to see a counselor when you may feel for whatever reason you cannot (even though it may be a option).

I would still repeat what Jack0 said but also add that you try focusing on the positive things in your life (you mention doing good at uni) and try to slowly progress, it won't be easy (5 yrs is a lot) but I think it's important that you know you can progress albeit slowly.

Hope it helps.