Should I tell my girlfriend I kissed another girl whilst drunk? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
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Basically, a few months back I was on a night out and I kissed a girl. Nothing else came of it, I walked away and didn't see her again. I was pretty drunk, which is no excuse really, and I've felt awful since whenever I think about it. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now, she lives in the same town as me and we go to Uni at the same place. We've not had any trouble with either of us cheating before, but I admit I've felt attracted to other girls but not done anything about it (also whilst I'm drunk). Is this a sign I don't love my girlfriend as much as I think I do? Should I tell her about the kiss and hope that she knows it meant nothing, or should I keep it quiet and hope the couple of mates that know about it won't ever tell her either?
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darkred
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I'd tell her. The last thing you need is your mates accidently mentioning it and then making you look worse for trying to hide it, it would only suggest to her that it was more than a drunken kiss.

It doesn't mean you don't love her, it's just your penis talking when you're drunk. The good thing is that you don't let it control you, and it was a mistake and the best thing you should do is tell her.
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neiljeff123
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you iz gettin dumped pal
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cloppy
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I don't think you should tell her. Honesty is not always the best policy my friend, and it will cause so very many problems to the relationship (especially since it sounds like a pretty full-on one). And I doubt she'll hear it from your friends, unless they're complete simpletons.

Had it been more than a drunken kiss, I'd say otherwise. Everyone feels the call of their loins once in a while, it's just nature telling you to spread your seeds. Just don't make it a habit!
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Yawn11
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Go ahead if you want to turn her into a controlling paranoid freak.
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zaid16
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naaa 4get it pal!!!
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darkred
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(Original post by Yawn11)
Go ahead if you want to turn her into a controlling paranoid freak.
if i were a girl I would like it if my bf be honest to me
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miser
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Basically, a few months back I was on a night out and I kissed a girl. Nothing else came of it, I walked away and didn't see her again. I was pretty drunk, which is no excuse really, and I've felt awful since whenever I think about it. I've been with my girlfriend for over 2 years now, she lives in the same town as me and we go to Uni at the same place. We've not had any trouble with either of us cheating before, but I admit I've felt attracted to other girls but not done anything about it (also whilst I'm drunk). Is this a sign I don't love my girlfriend as much as I think I do? Should I tell her about the kiss and hope that she knows it meant nothing, or should I keep it quiet and hope the couple of mates that know about it won't ever tell her either?
Firstly, don't tell her - it only risks harming your relationship. Secondly, it doesn't mean you love her less than you thought - it means that you lacked self-discipline and gave in to temptation. Being in love doesn't negate a person's attraction to other girls, it just makes that person want to stick with their partner.

Exercise more self-control, don't be unfaithful.
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qwerty7
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I wouldn't want my boyfriend to tell me if we were in the same situation. If you genuinely want to be with her, and this was an honest mistake that literally meant nothing to you, then I don't see the point in mentioning it. If anything it would make things worse because it could make her doubt her relationship with you, when in all honesty there could be no problems at all.
I realise this isn't the 'best' response to give, but I know that if I was in that situation the 'kiss' would just keep going around and around in my head until I wouldn't be able to trust the person any more, despite it meaning nothing.

If you honestly didn't mean anything by it, and it would have never have gone any further, and you truly regret it. Then I don't see much reason to tell.
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Yawn11
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(Original post by failingatm)
as a girl I would like it if my bf be honest to me
Yeah, but aferwards you'd probably find it hard to trust him completely again, as you realise he has the potential to cheat.

Then you'd be paranoid and controlling always where he is and who he is with.

If not that then you'll be angry randomly at the memory, to him it will look like random mood swings, which leads to heated arguments.

Factors like this could lead to the destruction of the relationship.
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The Dark Lord
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If you were a girl this thread would be so hot.
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Converse
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(Original post by failingatm)
as a girl I would like it if my bf be honest to me
How is that relevant to his post?

OP, I would suggest that you tell her, as she deserves to make the decision of whether she wants to stay with you after what you did. Although even if she does agree to put it in the past, she'll probably bring it up at every opportunity and the relationship would be ruined.
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mabrookes
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(Original post by cloppy)
I don't think you should tell her. Honesty is not always the best policy my friend, and it will cause so very many problems to the relationship (especially since it sounds like a pretty full-on one). And I doubt she'll hear it from your friends, unless they're complete simpletons.

Had it been more than a drunken kiss, I'd say otherwise. Everyone feels the call of their loins once in a while, it's just nature telling you to spread your seeds. Just don't make it a habit!
I really don't like this attitude towards this kind of thing. You are aware you are saying you have the right to decide what is important to another person, and a right to take away the choice of whether they want to be with you. Just how important do you think you are (I know you haven't said you have done it, but it is what you would do in the same situation is my point). It is purely selfish, it is not "for the relationship" and never will be.
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darkred
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(Original post by Yawn11)
Yeah, but aferwards you'd probably find it hard to trust him completely again, as you realise he has the potential to cheat.

Then you'd be paranoid and controlling always where he is and who he is with.

If not that then you'll be angry randomly at the memory, to him it will look like random mood swings, which leads to heated arguments.

Factors like this could lead to the destruction of the relationship.
:erm: well thats her problem for not trusting him. What if his mates tell her? even if its by accident, it would make the whole matter so much more worse. And if he tells her theres a possibility that she won't react like you said and would appreciate that he told her the truth.
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darkred
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(Original post by Converse)
How is that relevant to his post?
It's relevant because he wants to know if he should tell her.

Keeping the truth from someone can be just as bad as lying.
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maton_91
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(Original post by failingatm)
as a girl I would like it if my bf be honest to me
It says you're male? :confused:
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TooLaidBack
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In all honesty unless its likely to come up again in some way I wouldn't tell her.
It was just a kiss a couple of months ago and nothing came of it. No point ruining a 2 year relationship over that
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darkred
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(Original post by maton_91)
It says you're male? :confused:
I'm a girl irl. I just like confusing people. Sorry.
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The Real Quaid
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No one seems to have picked up that he's left it quite a while before telling her

Will she not question why it's taken him so long to tell the truth?
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Pink Sparkles
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I don't think you should tell her personally
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