The Student Room Group

Fancying bf's brother....

Ok, I've only posted this as anonymous because obviously this is a sensitive subject and I don't want anyone I know finding out. BTW, this is quite a long post.

I have been with my bf for about 5 years (since we were both 15.) We were friends in school and as a result I knew his younger brother. When we first got together his younger brother was 13 and in no way was I attracted to him, I was 15 he was 13 and I just looked at him as my new bf's brother. Myself and my bf stayed together and over the years me and my bf's brother became good friends but only as a gf does with her bf's younger brother. I never found myself attracted to him until about 6 months ago. He is now 18 and has all of a sudden matured into this really good-looking, kind and funny guy. It seems to have just jumped up and bit me on the backside really and the fact that I fancied him really came to light on New Year's Eve. My bf and I went to a friend's house and his brother came with us. All night I was looking at him and finding him so attractive and it scared me. He's my bf's younger brother and I shouldn't be feeling this way about him but I do. I don't want a relationship with him because I love my bf with all my heart and there aren't any problems in our relationship at all, we've been together for 5 years and I can't see a reason why I would do this :frown:
It feels like I'm betraying my bf by fancying his brother, esp. considering that it's his brother! Someone who has treated me as family and now I'm attracted to him :redface:

Sorry this post is long and most probably incoherent but I just needed to get it off my chest and see if anyone has any advice for me.
Is it 'normal' for my to be attracted to my bf's younger brother? It's just the fact that it's hit me hard because I never felt this way toward him before, I think it's because he's changed so much in the last 6 months (taller, more muscular, changed his hair and clothes) that perhaps it's not like it's him anymore (if that make sense!)

Thanks to anyone who can give me any advice :smile:

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Reply 1
maybe he just reminds you of your boyfriend.. hmm.. i don't know :s-smilie:

i didn't help but your thread looked kind of lonely.
The only advice I can give is DO NOT TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU ARE FEELING THIS!!!

Maybe try and stay away from the brother for a while, and spend more time with your boyfriend so you will see that it is him you fancy, and not his little brother!!!
Anonymous
Ok, I've only posted this as anonymous because obviously this is a sensitive subject and I don't want anyone I know finding out. BTW, this is quite a long post.

I have been with my bf for about 5 years (since we were both 15.) We were friends in school and as a result I knew his younger brother. When we first got together his younger brother was 13 and in no way was I attracted to him, I was 15 he was 13 and I just looked at him as my new bf's brother. Myself and my bf stayed together and over the years me and my bf's brother became good friends but only as a gf does with her bf's younger brother. I never found myself attracted to him until about 6 months ago. He is now 18 and has all of a sudden matured into this really good-looking, kind and funny guy. It seems to have just jumped up and bit me on the backside really and the fact that I fancied him really came to light on New Year's Eve. My bf and I went to a friend's house and his brother came with us. All night I was looking at him and finding him so attractive and it scared me. He's my bf's younger brother and I shouldn't be feeling this way about him but I do. I don't want a relationship with him because I love my bf with all my heart and there aren't any problems in our relationship at all, we've been together for 5 years and I can't see a reason why I would do this :frown:
It feels like I'm betraying my bf by fancying his brother, esp. considering that it's his brother! Someone who has treated me as family and now I'm attracted to him :redface:

Sorry this post is long and most probably incoherent but I just needed to get it off my chest and see if anyone has any advice for me.
Is it 'normal' for my to be attracted to my bf's younger brother? It's just the fact that it's hit me hard because I never felt this way toward him before, I think it's because he's changed so much in the last 6 months (taller, more muscular, changed his hair and clothes) that perhaps it's not like it's him anymore (if that make sense!)

Thanks to anyone who can give me any advice :smile:
I think it's probably just a crush thing, just the fact that it's your bf's brother has weirded you out a little and you're starting to think it's more than just that...
Reply 4
I kinda had the same thing with my boyf. I was with him for 2years and began to fancy his brother during the last 3months! its probably just because they are similar and im guesn u also spend quite alot of time with him. In the end i just carried on and my relationship ended for other reasons, now i c his bro + defo dont fancy him!!
sory not much help!
Reply 5
Deffo don't tell the BF.

I mentioned that BF's younger brother (Who's the same age as me) was really quite attractive now, he flew off and thought we were having 'an affair' because we're in the same year and good friends!
Its probably just a physical infatuation. Just give it time... but try to keep away from the brother for a while. I once fancied an ex's older sister... but it fizzled out in about 2 weeks.

G'Luck...
Reply 7
It's probably just a physical thing, infatuations like that don't mean anything and are nothing to feel guilty about, as long as they're not acted upon. I went through a phase when I found my (then) girlfriends sister more attractive than I should have, but it never really became an issue, as it wasn't like I'd ever do anything or would have considered myself to have had feelings for her at all. And she was quite hot :redface: Just because you're attached you don't stop finding people attractive, you just realise you have something more special already in your life.
Reply 8
Just a crush and a act of curiosity i think, its something that will go intime and realistically you know its something that cant and never will happen anyway.
Reply 9
It's probably just a phase because of the way he's changed etc! If you love your bf that much then it'll just pass:smile:
Reply 10
absolutely normal. Dont waste a long-term relationship over a crush (imo). Sometimes things aren't always spicy interesting, and the interest and rush you get from starting all over looks appealing, naturally, but you just have to try and improve on your own relationship, thats what i would do. heck its been 5 years, give it a try.
Drogue
It's probably just a physical thing, infatuations like that don't mean anything and are nothing to feel guilty about, as long as they're not acted upon. I went through a phase when I found my (then) girlfriends sister more attractive than I should have, but it never really became an issue, as it wasn't like I'd ever do anything or would have considered myself to have had feelings for her at all. And she was quite hot :redface: Just because you're attached you don't stop finding people attractive, you just realise you have something more special already in your life.


It's just wrong. Just wrong. :p: *grabs baby sister*
lil_lee
The only advice I can give is DO NOT TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND YOU ARE FEELING THIS!!!

Maybe try and stay away from the brother for a while, and spend more time with your boyfriend so you will see that it is him you fancy, and not his little brother!!!


why not?
Reply 13
Definitely don't tell your boyfriend. I had a similar situation with my boyfriend of 2 years, his brother is a year younger than him and so about 6 months younger than me. We've always got on well anyway because I dated one of his friends and so knew him seperately from "boyfriend's brother", he was actually my friend. Then I started to find him really attractive and he's so funny etc, he does remind me of his brother. I really fancied him and the problem was that it was a little obvious that he fancied me back, there was a lot of flirting and eye contact etc. Sounds quite bad but I guess we were just being friendly.
It did pass though, and now it's just back to being friends. Just concentrate on him, push the brother out of your thoughts. Maybe go away for a bit and I bet that it's your boyfriend you will miss, not his brother.
It is harmless, just don't act on it!
Reply 14
Scarlett_Jewel
It's just wrong. Just wrong. :p: *grabs baby sister*

:o:o:redface: It wasn't like I fancied her, I just appreciated that she was very pretty! :redface:



Now I realise why they have anonymous posting :redface:
Reply 15
I have also had this problem

My girlfriends sister looks really hot everytime I see her!!

You're not the only one.
maybe because it's so 'forbidden' it's making you like him even more?
Reply 17
a threesome?
ramroff
a threesome?


I think you'll find that illegal in this country. So go home.
Reply 19
Haven't read the other replies. Like most threads I reply in I just shove my reply in without reading others!LOL

If it hasn't already been said just try to move on. Maybe your attraction will disappear... if it grows then... well just wait a bit and see.