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Normal?
Some background.
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
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nah, if you're happy with your lot then there's no need to be insecure.
If you're feeling inadequate then it would suggest you're not happy and maybe you should put yourself about a bit more, try and make a few more friends, be a bit more socially active. Your sister's mate sounds like a bell, tbh, so I wouldn't take any notice of what she says. She'll end up as a receptionist while you might be a CEO or something, then ask her whether its better to be stupid or intelligent.
If you're feeling inadequate then it would suggest you're not happy and maybe you should put yourself about a bit more, try and make a few more friends, be a bit more socially active. Your sister's mate sounds like a bell, tbh, so I wouldn't take any notice of what she says. She'll end up as a receptionist while you might be a CEO or something, then ask her whether its better to be stupid or intelligent.
I agree with Fleece, in a few years time you'll be doing better than her.
The only thing I noticed is, you mention something that happened in childhood which makes you find any sort of intimacy hard, you don't need to say waht happened, but have you worked through whatever it is? I'm probably barking up the wrong tree, but if something bad happened if could bring down your self confidence and make you feel the way you are feeling. I'm probably completely wrong so just ignore me if I am!
As you being the 'blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd' I don't think that's true at all! Being clever is a gift, and working hard to do well isn't anything to be ashamed of, on the contrary, you should be proud of your acheivements! I know it's difficult, but try not to compare yourself up against your sister, you're two completely different people as you say, and you will excel in different things. Just hang on in there and in a few years you'll be so glad you never gave up
The only thing I noticed is, you mention something that happened in childhood which makes you find any sort of intimacy hard, you don't need to say waht happened, but have you worked through whatever it is? I'm probably barking up the wrong tree, but if something bad happened if could bring down your self confidence and make you feel the way you are feeling. I'm probably completely wrong so just ignore me if I am!
As you being the 'blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd' I don't think that's true at all! Being clever is a gift, and working hard to do well isn't anything to be ashamed of, on the contrary, you should be proud of your acheivements! I know it's difficult, but try not to compare yourself up against your sister, you're two completely different people as you say, and you will excel in different things. Just hang on in there and in a few years you'll be so glad you never gave up
to be honest, neither of you sound entirely normal. i don't really think it's the best idea to smoke and get stoned and go out every single day and not look after herself or tidy up, and the fact that she would slag off her own SISTER to her friends makes me think she needs a serious personality adjustment.
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'
.
you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'
.you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
For the most part you seem pretty normal to me. There were two things you said that have me a little worried however:
This to me, is unimaginable. I don't have armies of friends, but I have enough to take up my time. You said only. Does it bother you on any level that you don't have more?
If you don't mind me asking, what subject (or type of subject) is it?
Oh and please tell me this is a gross exaggeration of how you spend your waking hours? How many hours a week do you tend to study?
My thinking on this is that you misunderstood her. They said common sense but they probably meant it in a more social aspect. You can't blame them for this perception.
Your mother probably didn't intend to load the answer as much as you imply. Also sister is normal by her standards. She would seem (by your tone) to be abnormal by yours.
Everybody goes through the former at some point or another. I have, it's terrible but you get over it and tend to become stronger as a result. The latter however is a different kettle of fish. If it was a serious incident I suggest you seek counselling. I get a sense from you that you do want to experience relationships in the long term, would I be right? If this is hindering you then you should do something about it, get it resolved for your own sake. If the incident wasn't that serious and you are unwilling to get counselling then I'd take a serious objective look at yourself, as you may well be using this as an excuse to yourself to avoid intimacy.
Is that what you consider yourself? Do you want to change? Are you happy? You don't seem happy to me. Why else would you post this? If you don't want to be your prediction then don't. It is that simple...
Anonymous
I only have one friend
This to me, is unimaginable. I don't have armies of friends, but I have enough to take up my time. You said only. Does it bother you on any level that you don't have more?
Anonymous
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time,
Oh and please tell me this is a gross exaggeration of how you spend your waking hours? How many hours a week do you tend to study?
Anonymous
They were saying that I have no common sense at all ... ... but I think I have common sense.
Anonymous
and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Anonymous
I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship.
Anonymous
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
Anonymous
Some background.
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
you'll be the one who makes something of yourself. your sister seems to be an idiot.
Anonymous
Some background.
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
I have a sister who is a few years younger than me but has always been the 'grown up' one. I have only ever had one boyfriend which ended badly and another experience I had in my childhood means I find any sort of intimacy hard so I have never had another relationship. My sister though has had a constant stream of boyfriends since she hit puberty. On Christmas day five different men came round proclaiming their undying love for her. I don't smoke or go clubbing and only drink very occasionally. My sister smokes every day, gets stoned in the afternoon and goes out partying every night. I only have one friend, who I talk to on MSN every few days and on the phone maybe once a week and we go to the pub a couple of times a year. My sister has the aforementioned army of male admirers, literally hundreds of girl mates and they are all round here or ringing her up at all hours (and I mean all hours - she has people coming and going at 3 or 4 in the morning). I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone. But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I went to knock her door the other day to ask whether she was going to be around for tea and I accidentally overheard her talking to one of her friends about me. They were saying that I have no common sense at all and I'm never going to get anywhere in life, and her friend said "yeah it's much better to be thick and normal than a bloody smart arse".
I study an academic subject so immerse myself in abstraction 90% of the time, but I think I have common sense. I look after myself and the house, I save my money and drive safely. I might not have the best fashion sense or a hundred friends but I have all my faculties.
When I was alone with my mum I casually mentioned that I feel small and naive and a bit stupid around my sister and her friends, and Mum said I shouldn't be angry with her or anything, because she's normal and she's living a normal life.
Am I a blubbering idiot who's never going to be anything but the class nerd?
maybe you should see what its like to be her for a while, go crazy etc. Schoolwork isnt the end of the world you know, and who knows, you might enjoy it!
technik
you'll be the one who makes something of yourself. your sister seems to be an idiot.
She's not an idiot though, is she?! That's a useless addition to the conversation...
kimberley1987
She's not an idiot though, is she?! That's a useless addition to the conversation...
Well, not an idiot, but a bit of a slag. The only reason she had 5 guys proclaiming their undying love for her in one day is probably because she slept with them all.The truth hurts, but it's probably still true. I mean she gets stoned all the time , parties all night, dates tons of men...
Regarding this, I'd say: stop making her meals. Screw cleaning up after her, and realize that she's quite rude for talking crap about you when you do all of this stuff for her.
Regarding common sense, I have no idea who you are, so I don't know if you do or not, but you will probably get a better job than her even if you do have certain social apprehensions which could hinder progress to a certain degree. Getting stoned 24/7 doesn't exactly help you get a career. (My boyfriend is testament to this...he got stoned 24/7 and he didn't exactly progress much.
He admits it as well...he had TONS of mates too, ones he never speaks to anymore because he has quit his ways.)ApeXaviour
This to me, is unimaginable. I don't have armies of friends, but I have enough to take up my time. You said only. Does it bother you on any level that you don't have more?
This to me, is unimaginable. I don't have armies of friends, but I have enough to take up my time. You said only. Does it bother you on any level that you don't have more?
A little. I'm naturally shy and can only really be myself when I have got to know a person. When I first meet people they tend to think I'm simple because even if I'm feeling confident my voice wavers and I don't say much. People don't want to bother cracking through my shell when they could just as easily talk to a more confident person, and I don't expect them to. It doesn't bother me much that I don't have friends because I like to be free to do what I want.
If you don't mind me asking, what subject (or type of subject) is it?
Oh and please tell me this is a gross exaggeration of how you spend your waking hours? How many hours a week do you tend to study?
Mathematics. I didn't mean that I have my head in a book 90% of the time, but when I'm not studying I do think about problems. It's hard to switch off and I like having something to concentrate on. I actually don't study in the conventional sense very much, I read an assignment then let it work itself out subconsciously first.
My thinking on this is that you misunderstood her. They said common sense but they probably meant it in a more social aspect. You can't blame them for this perception. Your mother probably didn't intend to load the answer as much as you imply. Also sister is normal by her standards. She would seem (by your tone) to be abnormal by yours.
I don't think so but I know I can't blame them for it, I just thought that my sister knew me better than that. So I thought that maybe she does know me better, and it's me that's seeing myself as alright when in reality I'm not. It's not that I think she's abnormal (I was trying to highlight the differences between us). I don't know what normal is. It just seems that there are more people around who share her view of life than there are sharing mine.
Everybody goes through the former at some point or another. I have, it's terrible but you get over it and tend to become stronger as a result. The latter however is a different kettle of fish. If it was a serious incident I suggest you seek counselling. I get a sense from you that you do want to experience relationships in the long term, would I be right? If this is hindering you then you should do something about it, get it resolved for your own sake. If the incident wasn't that serious and you are unwilling to get counselling then I'd take a serious objective look at yourself, as you may well be using this as an excuse to yourself to avoid intimacy.
It was a serious thing and I have had counselling. I've talked it over until it's a numb memory lingering in the back of my mind. But now a wall comes down whenever I get feelings for anyone accessible. I can open up perfectly well to a man who I know is married or in a relationship, because there's no fear of anything happening. If I am in a pub and a man smiles at me I feel sick. When a man tried to kiss me last year I froze and cried when he just kept on when he knew I didn't want to. As soon as he left I was sick and had a shower.
Of course I want to have relationships. There is nothing I would like more than to be able to love someone entirely.
Is that what you consider yourself? Do you want to change? Are you happy? You don't seem happy to me. Why else would you post this? If you don't want to be your prediction then don't. It is that simple...
At the moment, yes. I am the nerd in the class of nerds. I like the academic side of my life. I work hard because I enjoy it and I don't feel that I am giving anything up by putting my heart into it. No, I am not happy. I don't mind being the nerd at university but at home I thought I was something else. Yes I posted this because I am not happy and what I heard from my sister rocked me. It isn't easy to just pull your socks up and get a life. It seems to me that to be considered normal you have to smoke, drink, use drugs and have sex a lot. Do I have no sense because I don't do those things? I thought I functioned well enough in day to day things but apparently I don't.
I've lost the thread now I think I should go to bed.
grace
but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek' .
.I do go out and do relaxing things. I go to the theatre and museums and to gigs when someone I like plays, I just do it alone. I have loads of hobbies. That is why I thought my family would know me better because they see me go out driving and cook family dinners and paint and potter about with my camera. It seems though that the things I am interested in don't count when it comes to being well-rounded. Nobody sees past the glasses and grades and that's going to hurt when I want to have children and nobody believes I have the mental capacity to cope with everyday life.
If being normal means being thick, I'd rather be a smart arse.
I'm sure your sister will have a lot more respect for you when you're the one who has to bail her out of a nasty situation with your safe driving, or take her to rehab/the abortion clinic, lend her money to pay off her drug debts, attempt to get rid of stalking ex-boyfriends etc...
I'm sure your sister will have a lot more respect for you when you're the one who has to bail her out of a nasty situation with your safe driving, or take her to rehab/the abortion clinic, lend her money to pay off her drug debts, attempt to get rid of stalking ex-boyfriends etc...
Anonymous
I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone.
But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
I feel like a maid answering the door to her friends, answering the phone, cooking her meals, washing the dishes, trying to keep the house clean etc. She'll come in at 1am with three friends and expect me to whip up a meal for everyone.
But all this I can cope with; I know that the two of us are opposites.
this is what i have issues over. somethings not right there. maybe you should tell her to get stuffed, ignore the doorbell, let her wash the dishes, leave half the cleaning for her, and tell her to cook her own bloody meals at 1am!
just a thought
There is no need for you to do all this stuff for your sister. It probably isn't helping either of you as you are getting treated like a door mat and she isn't learning to do things for herself.Remember the only person that can make you feel inferior to anyone is yourself. So stop comparing yourself to your sister and worrying if you are "normal" as no one is anyway. Concentrate on improving your own self confidence and remember you are just as important as everyone else and have a right to be who you are
Anonymous
It seems to me that to be considered normal you have to smoke, drink, use drugs and have sex a lot. Do I have no sense because I don't do those things?
No no no no no! Don't think like that.
I'm a little like you - though I was never quite as shy, I've always been very academically involved. At school I was often referred to as a 'boffin' or other similar things and, though it hurt my feelings, I would just tell myself that one day I would be much better off than them and I would be able to laugh in their faces. As time went on, I met people I could be friendly with and didn't hide who I was - I wanted to do well.
If you have enough conviction in what you do, people WILL respect you for being strong.
I have friends who smoke and do drugs (I've never tried either) and when I was about 15 I started to be offered cigarettes and joints. My response was always a simple, unequivocal 'NO', because I'd decided a long time previously that they were stupid things to get involved with. Because I was so sure about my choice, no one really bothered to try to convince me; thus, I didn't suffer too much pressure and my real friends would try not to smoke too near me etc.
Now that I'm older, I know people who do harder drugs and I tend to overlook that because I like these people's company. However, they know my opinion on drugs and they respect it. I also don't drink too much and am still a virgin - though I've been very anxious about this before, I'm glad that I've waited because I think that losing it to the wrong person would be a mistake.
In terms of boyfriends, although I've never suffered from men -too- badly, I have always been intimidated by them and unsure how to react when being chatted up. Older men have approached me before and it always made me feel sick. However, I am now going out with a guy who I've known for years and I would suggest to you that you concentrate on finding friends of both genders before finding love, particularly because spending more time with guys will enable you to get used to talking to them and gradually overcome your feelings.
I agree with lots of other posters about your sister - why do you do so much for her when she treats you so badly? If anything, you would have more time for yourself if you didn't spend it clearing up after her. She needs to learn to stop being so selfish, and it's perfectly reasonable to be angry at her if her friends wake you up at 3am (IMHO anyway).
Does your friend have any other friends? If so, perhaps ask if you could meet/get to know them? Otherwise, perhaps the two of you could go places to find more. It's nice to have a cosy group of friends.
Whatever you do, good luck and remember when you're unhappy that life will not always be like this! It's what you make of it.
If you are happy with yourself then it doesnt matter what your sisters like. However, if you are feeling inferior to her then maybe you could try dong some of the things that she does and see what happens, obviously im not talking about going n smoking pot or whatever but maybe go to a club or something like that, get a hobby and make some friends- may a sturday job.
grace
to be honest, neither of you sound entirely normal. i don't really think it's the best idea to smoke and get stoned and go out every single day and not look after herself or tidy up, and the fact that she would slag off her own SISTER to her friends makes me think she needs a serious personality adjustment.
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'.
you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'
.you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
Spot on
Great post.
grace
to be honest, neither of you sound entirely normal. i don't really think it's the best idea to smoke and get stoned and go out every single day and not look after herself or tidy up, and the fact that she would slag off her own SISTER to her friends makes me think she needs a serious personality adjustment.
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'.
you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
similarly, i think it's probably just a tiny bit unhealthy to be quite so indifferent to having a social life...it's fantastic and admirable that you are so academically conscientious and sensible, and i know having one good friend is something to be very grateful for, but part of being a well rounded person is learning how to, well, loosen up just a little bit. that's not to say you need hundreds of friends and legions of male admirers, just a close small circle of friends who you can do social and relaxing things with...clubbing's not for everyone, but meals out, trips to the cinema or theatre or museum or gigs or whatever tickles your fancy would maybe balance you out a little and ensure you can be seen as more than just the 'class geek'
.you seem a little bit uptight and quite insecure, and i think probably just gettiing out and experiencing being sociable a little bit more would have an amazing effect on you.
don't feel down
Sound advice... can't really add anything to be honest! Hope things get better for you soon
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