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Do guys often tell girls that they are gorgeous even if they are not?
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I have said it before and I'll say it again. People are different.
You really can't know what one person meant based on what someone else would say. There really are so many possible reasons why someone would say you are good looking, ranging from a good friend trying to cheer you up, to someone honestly thinking that about you. I suggest you don't worry about it too much.
You really can't know what one person meant based on what someone else would say. There really are so many possible reasons why someone would say you are good looking, ranging from a good friend trying to cheer you up, to someone honestly thinking that about you. I suggest you don't worry about it too much.
Attractiveness is very different from prettiness. Perhaps you're not overly pretty in a conventional sense, but if - as you say- you're comfortable with the way you look, you may give off positive vibes appear confident. And confidence is meant to be sexy! I'm sure not ALL the attention can be just guys taking the piss!
Anonymous
This is quite a silly question really but it's bugging me. I'm quite comfortable with how I look - sometimes I get a bit fed up about it but it's not as if I have any major insecurities or anything. The thing is I know what I am and I know I'm not really that pretty. I have small eyes, kinda widish nose with a small bump on it (not really that noticeable but it's there), little gap in my front teeth, I'm pale, not very defined cheeks or collar bones or anything like that. Sound hot to you? Nope I didn't think so!
BUT... I get complimented on my looks by guys pretty regularly. Pretty much every time I go out I get chatted up or told 'you're gorgeous/sexy/stunning/amazing' (bleugh gross I'm really not). Does this happen to all girls? Do guys just do this for fun? I do make the most of what I've got - dress nicely, do my hair and wear nice (subtle) make-up etc but I'm not actually very good looking. Theres a lot of pretty girls on my course and they are always getting told by the other girls 'you're stunning' etc but I never get told this hardly at all by girls. (except my friends but thats what friends do lol) So girls tend not to think I'm not very attractive either.
Then I was in the pub the other night and a lot of guys kept looking over at me (like if i past they would turn their heads or keeping looking over - haha maybe i had something stuck to my back or something) and then 7 different men came up to me that night and started chatting me up. So I got quite paranoid about it. I just started thinking there was some kind of joke on or something. I do seem to get quite a lot of male interest for some reason (i get asked out a lot, quite a few guys text me, i've been told of guys that fancy me etc - no idea why though - the weirdos!) and I just don't understand why and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
So can anyone explain this phenomenon? Guys why do you do this? Do you think it's a piss take?? And why doesn't it make me feel good about myself? I seem completely to be unable to take compliments on board - sometimes i wish i did beleive it just so i would feel fantastic but deep down i know its just not true.
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating? Or do you think they are trying to get to know me so they can get with my (pretty) friends? Or are guys just not as shallow as I thought they were?
BUT... I get complimented on my looks by guys pretty regularly. Pretty much every time I go out I get chatted up or told 'you're gorgeous/sexy/stunning/amazing' (bleugh gross I'm really not). Does this happen to all girls? Do guys just do this for fun? I do make the most of what I've got - dress nicely, do my hair and wear nice (subtle) make-up etc but I'm not actually very good looking. Theres a lot of pretty girls on my course and they are always getting told by the other girls 'you're stunning' etc but I never get told this hardly at all by girls. (except my friends but thats what friends do lol) So girls tend not to think I'm not very attractive either.
Then I was in the pub the other night and a lot of guys kept looking over at me (like if i past they would turn their heads or keeping looking over - haha maybe i had something stuck to my back or something) and then 7 different men came up to me that night and started chatting me up. So I got quite paranoid about it. I just started thinking there was some kind of joke on or something. I do seem to get quite a lot of male interest for some reason (i get asked out a lot, quite a few guys text me, i've been told of guys that fancy me etc - no idea why though - the weirdos!) and I just don't understand why and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
So can anyone explain this phenomenon? Guys why do you do this? Do you think it's a piss take?? And why doesn't it make me feel good about myself? I seem completely to be unable to take compliments on board - sometimes i wish i did beleive it just so i would feel fantastic but deep down i know its just not true.
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating? Or do you think they are trying to get to know me so they can get with my (pretty) friends? Or are guys just not as shallow as I thought they were?
Rationally speaking, you would appear to occupy that enviable 'sweet spot' intervening an aspect so lacklustre as to defy solicitation, and a beauty so eminent as to render you unapproachable. Despite myself being of that curious [read: tactless; guilt-prone] disposition which can but deliver 'round, unvarnished' (or, alternatively, what I deem 'lateral') compliments, most 'blokes', having deferred to the fundamental laws of attraction, will observe no discrepancy in massaging your self-perception beyond all ostensible rhyme and reason (with a probable view to having you 'massage' something more tangible, and vice-versa). Except, of course, that they lack the subtlety or loquacity to redeem such blandishments with the merest vestige of plausibility, thus prompting suspicion and mistrust on your part.
Reply 43
^ Why are you so verbose? It's not amusing...
Anyway, overall... You're a good looking girl. Theres 2 possible answers: the first is that you are sexy/stunning/gorgeous/hot, which is why you're getting the compliments. The second is you're good looking enough for some later.
Anyway, overall... You're a good looking girl. Theres 2 possible answers: the first is that you are sexy/stunning/gorgeous/hot, which is why you're getting the compliments. The second is you're good looking enough for some later.
I wish guys weren't so looks and sex obsessed! If a guy was sweet, caring and confident that would be so much more attractive than fitness or whatever and I certainly wouldn't be thinking about getting him into bed as soon as I'd met him. Why are a lot of guys so shallow? If a guy was going out with me for my looks alone, I wouldn't want to be with him. There only seems to be a handful of guys that actually think the way most girls do when they look for someone. Shame its like that 
its because most girls care about the way they look and are very aware of whether or not they are "pretty" or not (btw dont flame me, im not saying they are vain)
hence the whole clothes industry, makeup industry etc. etc.
why do girls do this? most do it i would guess in order to attract guys and get looks etc, be the centre of attention.
hence when a guy says to a girl you're <compliment about the way they look> it usually gets them immeadiate bonus points with the girls.
or, if that little speech was too pretentious for you, most guys are attracted to pretty much most of the girl populous, i wouldnt say guys are too picky, especially after weve had a few.
hence the whole clothes industry, makeup industry etc. etc.
why do girls do this? most do it i would guess in order to attract guys and get looks etc, be the centre of attention.
hence when a guy says to a girl you're <compliment about the way they look> it usually gets them immeadiate bonus points with the girls.
or, if that little speech was too pretentious for you, most guys are attracted to pretty much most of the girl populous, i wouldnt say guys are too picky, especially after weve had a few.
Reply 46
superalex16
its because most girls care about the way they look and are very aware of whether or not they are "pretty" or not.
I think that used to be the case, but I think a lot more guys are becoming conscious about their appearance, particularly "grooming" (which until a couple of years ago would have been considered quite an effeminate past time). I'd probably go as far as to say that some of my male friends care more about their appearance than the girls... in any case, Nivea must make an absolute mint from it.
I think you should just take it with a pinch of salt. I doubt there's a hard and fast rule: some will probably exaggerate your beauty to flatter you (perhaps with some ulterior motive) whilst others may be being honest, and so on. I don't think you should base your opinions purely on these comments.
What would be more interesting is to see what other things they say to you and find out what their intentions are. That would be a better indicator of how honest they are.
What would be more interesting is to see what other things they say to you and find out what their intentions are. That would be a better indicator of how honest they are.
Reply 50
post a picture and we'll let you know.
Reply 51
maybe you've got a hot body?, likea really nice bum or nice boobs or just nice proportions or something ,also maybe you look really good in 'club/pub' lighting ...who knows..maybe you really are fit..difficult to say without a pic...
Sounds like your not 'conventially' attractive, but believe me this can be a refreshing alternative, men probably find you much easier to approach because of this. Whenever I see one of my 'fit' girl mates gettin chatted up the guy just gets nervous and loses it mainly.
So in conclusion, you are both attractive and approachable, nice mixture to have IMO, and because of the lack of conventional attractiveness, you have acquired a personality.
So in conclusion, you are both attractive and approachable, nice mixture to have IMO, and because of the lack of conventional attractiveness, you have acquired a personality.
blissy
Compliments from girls mean so much more than compliments from boys (IMO anyway). If they say you're pretty, they mean it more often than not - especially if they say it out of the blue rather than in response to "I'm not pretty". So listen to the girls, boys are biased cause they either love you/infatuated with you (and therefore think you're the most perfect being on earth) or want to get into your pants by any means possible.
Anonymous
This is quite a silly question really but it's bugging me. I'm quite comfortable with how I look - sometimes I get a bit fed up about it but it's not as if I have any major insecurities or anything. The thing is I know what I am and I know I'm not really that pretty. I have small eyes, kinda widish nose with a small bump on it (not really that noticeable but it's there), little gap in my front teeth, I'm pale, not very defined cheeks or collar bones or anything like that. Sound hot to you? Nope I didn't think so!
BUT... I get complimented on my looks by guys pretty regularly. Pretty much every time I go out I get chatted up or told 'you're gorgeous/sexy/stunning/amazing' (bleugh gross I'm really not). Does this happen to all girls? Do guys just do this for fun? I do make the most of what I've got - dress nicely, do my hair and wear nice (subtle) make-up etc but I'm not actually very good looking. Theres a lot of pretty girls on my course and they are always getting told by the other girls 'you're stunning' etc but I never get told this hardly at all by girls. (except my friends but thats what friends do lol) So girls tend not to think I'm not very attractive either.
Then I was in the pub the other night and a lot of guys kept looking over at me (like if i past they would turn their heads or keeping looking over - haha maybe i had something stuck to my back or something) and then 7 different men came up to me that night and started chatting me up. So I got quite paranoid about it. I just started thinking there was some kind of joke on or something. I do seem to get quite a lot of male interest for some reason (i get asked out a lot, quite a few guys text me, i've been told of guys that fancy me etc - no idea why though - the weirdos!) and I just don't understand why and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
So can anyone explain this phenomenon? Guys why do you do this? Do you think it's a piss take?? And why doesn't it make me feel good about myself? I seem completely to be unable to take compliments on board - sometimes i wish i did beleive it just so i would feel fantastic but deep down i know its just not true.
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating? Or do you think they are trying to get to know me so they can get with my (pretty) friends? Or are guys just not as shallow as I thought they were?
BUT... I get complimented on my looks by guys pretty regularly. Pretty much every time I go out I get chatted up or told 'you're gorgeous/sexy/stunning/amazing' (bleugh gross I'm really not). Does this happen to all girls? Do guys just do this for fun? I do make the most of what I've got - dress nicely, do my hair and wear nice (subtle) make-up etc but I'm not actually very good looking. Theres a lot of pretty girls on my course and they are always getting told by the other girls 'you're stunning' etc but I never get told this hardly at all by girls. (except my friends but thats what friends do lol) So girls tend not to think I'm not very attractive either.
Then I was in the pub the other night and a lot of guys kept looking over at me (like if i past they would turn their heads or keeping looking over - haha maybe i had something stuck to my back or something) and then 7 different men came up to me that night and started chatting me up. So I got quite paranoid about it. I just started thinking there was some kind of joke on or something. I do seem to get quite a lot of male interest for some reason (i get asked out a lot, quite a few guys text me, i've been told of guys that fancy me etc - no idea why though - the weirdos!) and I just don't understand why and it really makes me feel uncomfortable.
So can anyone explain this phenomenon? Guys why do you do this? Do you think it's a piss take?? And why doesn't it make me feel good about myself? I seem completely to be unable to take compliments on board - sometimes i wish i did beleive it just so i would feel fantastic but deep down i know its just not true.
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating? Or do you think they are trying to get to know me so they can get with my (pretty) friends? Or are guys just not as shallow as I thought they were?
ermmm......no we do not give compliments if they are not deserved
zoea85
I wish guys weren't so looks and sex obsessed! If a guy was sweet, caring and confident that would be so much more attractive than fitness or whatever and I certainly wouldn't be thinking about getting him into bed as soon as I'd met him. Why are a lot of guys so shallow? If a guy was going out with me for my looks alone, I wouldn't want to be with him. There only seems to be a handful of guys that actually think the way most girls do when they look for someone. Shame its like that
Because nice-guys don't have the confidence to hit on girls. Lots of sweet and caring single blokes out there, it's just they are shy and quiet and girls expect to be chatted up (which shy and quiet people generally don't do) and, in general, prefer very confident outgoing people to nice people.
Not every guy just wants to bed every girl and not every guy isn't shallow. It's just that shallow guys, the extremely vocal minority, who do just want to sleep with girls are much more likely to be confident to chat girls up without provocation and be outgoing (and more likely to meet people).
And even if "sweet, caring, confident" was more widespread, I'd argue (probably slightly bitter and misogynistically) a lot of girls would probably still be attracted to the aggressive masculine cliché that does sleep around and then claim they want something else. Hell, I know of plenty of sweet, caring, confident single guys.
Have a feeling the above won't go down well, but I'm just feeling a little bit bitter and cynical at the mo (single myself, good friend who is a lovely guy has been dumped by his girlfriend) and I'm slightly sick of seeing the amount of male trashing posts on this forum.
Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and not everyone goes for girls in magazines. Being pretty but not believing it is also common. Girls tend to think they are much less attractive than they actually are in my experience (due to low-self esteem), and they are a lot more self-critical and don't believe that guys will settle for anything but perfect in the looks department (which is very wrong).
You don't have to be conventionally pretty (I dunno, big blue eyes, high cheekbones, whatever) to be attractive. You are attracted to someone for a whole lot of different reasons than just your physical state -- maybe there's just something about you that these men like! And besides, there's a lot of people out there, and different strokes for different folks -- there are going to be people out there who find you incredibly beautiful, while others think you're ugly.
Reply 58
Just like to say that although I don't think I'm 'pretty' I don't have low self steem. It's just that aesthetically speaking I wouldn't class myself as pretty - I'm not photogenic at all and close up a little plain/bland looking. But I am very self confident and happy with myself because I don't actually care about it THAT much. Just because a girl doesn't think she is pretty doesn't mean she has low self esteem - she might just genuinly believe that in her opinion but is okay with it. I just find it a little baffling that these men seemed to think otherwise so wondered how common it was for guys just to be bullsh**ing. I find your replies really interesting and it's taught me a lot.
From looking at some of the replies it's became a bit clearer about how a lot of guys find it difficult to chat girls up because they get nervous etc. Generally I'm quite warm/smiley/polite with guys and chat away with them/give them the time of day even if I'm not interested (unless it's just the cocky ones who are blatantly trying to get laid). I have a friend who is really pretty (more so than me) but she doesn't get chatted up as often - she does that evil ice queen stare a lot though - perhaps scaring a lot of guys away!
From looking at some of the replies it's became a bit clearer about how a lot of guys find it difficult to chat girls up because they get nervous etc. Generally I'm quite warm/smiley/polite with guys and chat away with them/give them the time of day even if I'm not interested (unless it's just the cocky ones who are blatantly trying to get laid). I have a friend who is really pretty (more so than me) but she doesn't get chatted up as often - she does that evil ice queen stare a lot though - perhaps scaring a lot of guys away!
Reply 59
Anonymous
Guys why do you do this?
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating?
Oh and also do guys tend to approach less attractive woman because the attractive ones are intimidating?
Because it works very well in my experience. Bit of alcohol, a few compliments and there is a good chance of getting into someone's pants.
It works best on the not-so-attractive ones. I don't want to brag, but it is amazing what some of them will do and let you do to them, if you keep the compliments and the alcohol flowing.
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