The Student Room Group

Dealing with my ill father?

Okay so I'm at Uni most of the time but I'm back at the moment and I'm really concerned about my dad. He just seems really miserable at the moment. He gets sickly a lot and is currently suffering from some flu type thing. He has cancer and although they can try and control it it won't go away and his state will just get worse. I'm worried about how I'm going to cope when things get worse and how I can make him feel better while he's sickly all the time. He runs his own business which is even harder because it means he can't work as often therefore not earning as much money and this stresses him out even more. I'm also worried about how my mums going to cope on her own - she's going to end up really lonely. My mum and dad have a really good relationship and I don't think she would ever be able to be with anyone else and with me away she's just going to be on her own. I don't have any religious beliefs so I just think when your gone your gone. It's a bit depressing thinking about that but I can't help my beliefs and it just makes me sad. If it's scary for me it must be really scary for him. I feel bit down about it all and wanted people to talk to about it really. So if anyone has any words of advice about coping in these situations then please help.
Aaaw, hon. *hug*

I don't really know what to say except that being strong all the time is almost impossible and that at some point, you'll need your friends and familiy for support and strength. Have you got friends that you could talk to? they may be able to help you when you're at uni. It sounds a little silly, but people on here will always be around too, so feel free to post or PM if you need advice.

*more hugs* I hope that things will be ok for you chuck.
Reply 2
You (and your mum..but less so your mum) have to show him that you are strong, nd although you will miss him when he's gone you're going to be ok without him.
You also gotta let him know theres no point in stressing now, when the time comes, the time comes so he should enjoy everything.
Just you know, have a good laugh when you are with him. I thoroughly believe laughter is the best medicne.
Reply 3
I find it really difficult to talk about to him. We all just kind of pretend its not really happening.
In a way it makes it easier - because I'm very sensitive/emotional and if we discussed or even mentoned the 'c' word I'd start crying and I don't want to do that because it will make him feel bad. My dad is really sensitive too. It makes it harder though because when it gets worse I can't keep pretending its not an issue
Reply 4
1. Denial and Isolation. 2. Anger. 3. Bargaining. 4. Depression. 5. Acceptance
Reply 5
*huggles*

i dont really have much advice but just try and stay strong and hang in there. if you need to cry, cry. if you need to talk, talk. just take it as it comes.

hope your okay xxx
Reply 6
I really don't know what to say. Have you accepted that at some point, he's going to be gone? (sorry if I'm being blunt or anything :s) Once you have accepted, as a family, that he is sick and that he's going to die, you will be able to talk about it and be there for him. Tell him how you feel. Even if you find it hard. You will regret not saying things you've wanted to, once he's gone. Reassure him taht you will cope once he's gone, tell him he's been a fantatsic father and you will always love him. Tell him how brave he is...Just make sure he knows how much you care for him before he goes...I hope this helps. XxxX