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low self worth, confidence in the way i look etc
recently, i've started to become really VERY self aware & concious.
don't get me wrong, i don't think i'm hideously ugly but neither am i beautiful.
this has really been getting me down - i'm always thinking to myself that i am ugly. this may sound stupid also - but when i am at work/shopping etc & nobody makes eye contact with me, i feel they don't because i am ugly. i know i'm probably not but deep down inside, i feel like my nose is too big or that my face is fat or my eyes are different or that my thighs are fat etc.
i feel that i have to have recognition from others to make myself feel good ie. if people tell me i look pretty, i'll feel okay. but if they don't, i feel very very ugly & insecure.
i feel like if someone does make eye contact with me/look at me, its only because they saw me from far away but when they see me face to face, they must think i'm ugly.
seeing pretty girls getting lots of attention also makes me wish i was more like them. and i feel that even when i make an effort, eg wear more make up, i get nowhere or nothing from it.
its silly to get upset about it, i know but its getting me down quite a lot nowadays.
has anyone got any advice for me/anyone ever felt the same?
don't get me wrong, i don't think i'm hideously ugly but neither am i beautiful.
this has really been getting me down - i'm always thinking to myself that i am ugly. this may sound stupid also - but when i am at work/shopping etc & nobody makes eye contact with me, i feel they don't because i am ugly. i know i'm probably not but deep down inside, i feel like my nose is too big or that my face is fat or my eyes are different or that my thighs are fat etc.
i feel that i have to have recognition from others to make myself feel good ie. if people tell me i look pretty, i'll feel okay. but if they don't, i feel very very ugly & insecure.
i feel like if someone does make eye contact with me/look at me, its only because they saw me from far away but when they see me face to face, they must think i'm ugly.
seeing pretty girls getting lots of attention also makes me wish i was more like them. and i feel that even when i make an effort, eg wear more make up, i get nowhere or nothing from it.
its silly to get upset about it, i know but its getting me down quite a lot nowadays.
has anyone got any advice for me/anyone ever felt the same?
yes
it is hard living in a world where there always seems to be more good looking people around
I know the feeling, when you start to fancy someone who you get on well with and you get rejected, and you know deep down that it's just because they don't find you attractive...then someone else turns up who's "fit" and the object of your desire is suddenly "in love with them" after a couple of weeks of going out
happened to me many a time
like you I dont have a real issue thinking Im a minger or anything, but I'm aware I'm lower down the food chain than I'd like
A female friend of mine has a theory that "attractiveness" is difficult to define but if you have 2 out of the 3 of, good looks, good body or a nice personality then you will be deemed attractive by most of the opposite sex. I suppose all you can do is control the controllables - body and personality you can improve with a little work so technically everyone can be more attractive
it is hard living in a world where there always seems to be more good looking people around
I know the feeling, when you start to fancy someone who you get on well with and you get rejected, and you know deep down that it's just because they don't find you attractive...then someone else turns up who's "fit" and the object of your desire is suddenly "in love with them" after a couple of weeks of going out
happened to me many a time
like you I dont have a real issue thinking Im a minger or anything, but I'm aware I'm lower down the food chain than I'd like
A female friend of mine has a theory that "attractiveness" is difficult to define but if you have 2 out of the 3 of, good looks, good body or a nice personality then you will be deemed attractive by most of the opposite sex. I suppose all you can do is control the controllables - body and personality you can improve with a little work so technically everyone can be more attractive
to the OP, how old are you?
i'm 18, female.
I hoped that you were female, as I'd think it a bit wierd otherwise that you were wearing make-up! 
As for the whole being really self-aware thing - it just seems to happen to a lot of people at that kind of age where you're making the transition from childhood to adulthood. If you seem to get a lot of attention from boys when you're out, then I'm sure you look fine. As for not being able to take a compliment, that can sometimes happen to people who think that people have alterior motives for complimenting you, for example, you may think that a guy only compliments you because he wants to sleep with you, but this may not be the case - maybe he's just complimenting you because you do simply look nice, or look like you've made an effort. The modern world seems to bombard us with images of extraordinairily beautiful people and we seem to think that that's the way we need to look in order to be popular and successful in life, however I'm sure this is not the case - I'm friends with plenty of people who are stunning as well as plenty of people who are average, or dare I use the words 'below average', however beauty and everything that goes with it is entirely subjective. I used to be a little self-conscious when I was younger, but I realised that I really couldn't care less if people judged me on apperances - it's their loss, and plus, I found that as you get older, you become more comfortable with your body and everything that goes with it. I hope that you realise that many other people have been in the same situation as you, and it seems very natural at this age when people are blossoming into adulthood and questioning everything to do with how people interpret them. Hope this helps.
As for the whole being really self-aware thing - it just seems to happen to a lot of people at that kind of age where you're making the transition from childhood to adulthood. If you seem to get a lot of attention from boys when you're out, then I'm sure you look fine. As for not being able to take a compliment, that can sometimes happen to people who think that people have alterior motives for complimenting you, for example, you may think that a guy only compliments you because he wants to sleep with you, but this may not be the case - maybe he's just complimenting you because you do simply look nice, or look like you've made an effort. The modern world seems to bombard us with images of extraordinairily beautiful people and we seem to think that that's the way we need to look in order to be popular and successful in life, however I'm sure this is not the case - I'm friends with plenty of people who are stunning as well as plenty of people who are average, or dare I use the words 'below average', however beauty and everything that goes with it is entirely subjective. I used to be a little self-conscious when I was younger, but I realised that I really couldn't care less if people judged me on apperances - it's their loss, and plus, I found that as you get older, you become more comfortable with your body and everything that goes with it. I hope that you realise that many other people have been in the same situation as you, and it seems very natural at this age when people are blossoming into adulthood and questioning everything to do with how people interpret them. Hope this helps.
pratikv
I hoped that you were female, as I'd think it a bit wierd otherwise that you were wearing make-up!
As for the whole being really self-aware thing - it just seems to happen to a lot of people at that kind of age where you're making the transition from childhood to adulthood. If you seem to get a lot of attention from boys when you're out, then I'm sure you look fine. As for not being able to take a compliment, that can sometimes happen to people who think that people have alterior motives for complimenting you, for example, you may think that a guy only compliments you because he wants to sleep with you, but this may not be the case - maybe he's just complimenting you because you do simply look nice, or look like you've made an effort. The modern world seems to bombard us with images of extraordinairily beautiful people and we seem to think that that's the way we need to look in order to be popular and successful in life, however I'm sure this is not the case - I'm friends with plenty of people who are stunning as well as plenty of people who are average, or dare I use the words 'below average', however beauty and everything that goes with it is entirely subjective. I used to be a little self-conscious when I was younger, but I realised that I really couldn't care less if people judged me on apperances - it's their loss, and plus, I found that as you get older, you become more comfortable with your body and everything that goes with it. I hope that you realise that many other people have been in the same situation as you, and it seems very natural at this age when people are blossoming into adulthood and questioning everything to do with how people interpret them. Hope this helps.
As for the whole being really self-aware thing - it just seems to happen to a lot of people at that kind of age where you're making the transition from childhood to adulthood. If you seem to get a lot of attention from boys when you're out, then I'm sure you look fine. As for not being able to take a compliment, that can sometimes happen to people who think that people have alterior motives for complimenting you, for example, you may think that a guy only compliments you because he wants to sleep with you, but this may not be the case - maybe he's just complimenting you because you do simply look nice, or look like you've made an effort. The modern world seems to bombard us with images of extraordinairily beautiful people and we seem to think that that's the way we need to look in order to be popular and successful in life, however I'm sure this is not the case - I'm friends with plenty of people who are stunning as well as plenty of people who are average, or dare I use the words 'below average', however beauty and everything that goes with it is entirely subjective. I used to be a little self-conscious when I was younger, but I realised that I really couldn't care less if people judged me on apperances - it's their loss, and plus, I found that as you get older, you become more comfortable with your body and everything that goes with it. I hope that you realise that many other people have been in the same situation as you, and it seems very natural at this age when people are blossoming into adulthood and questioning everything to do with how people interpret them. Hope this helps.
thankyou for that comment, it was lovely & helped a lot.
Not really advise, what I'm about to say, more empathy. I can see where you are coming from because I am very much in the same situation. Although I haven't been directly called ugly per se, it's more what people haven't said that gets me. It seems that all the compliments and attention always get directed to my sister and well it bums me out alooooooot. So much so that I purposely never make an effort when I'm out with her becuase then I can convince myself that the reason I don;t get attention is because I haven't tried. My confidence journey is still very much in its infancy but I have no doubt that with time I should have gotten over this because when you look at the bigger picture it does seem very petty. I don't want to trivialise your problem and I know how you feel but I honestly think it isn't worth dwelling on.
yes i have felt this way.
i cured it by going out and having a day for myself!!
go out and buy new clothes that are different for you to wear!!
go and have some beauty treatment done at the local salons. (i think students get half price in most salons!!)
and then go to a cafe or something adn talk with mates to see how they feel about you.
then go to a club and flirt and be as sexy as you can. (best way to feel good in my books!!)
if you dont feel like doing that then maybe just call friends and tell them this. they should if they are friends, tell you nice thinks and this can help you!!
like patikv said. we girls are always seeing glamour models or gorgeous people on the street but remember you are3 always as beautiful as them. they are only doing it for attention. you are just beautiful as you are!!!
helped me so hope it helps you!!
good luck
i cured it by going out and having a day for myself!!
go out and buy new clothes that are different for you to wear!!
go and have some beauty treatment done at the local salons. (i think students get half price in most salons!!)
and then go to a cafe or something adn talk with mates to see how they feel about you.
then go to a club and flirt and be as sexy as you can. (best way to feel good in my books!!)
if you dont feel like doing that then maybe just call friends and tell them this. they should if they are friends, tell you nice thinks and this can help you!!
like patikv said. we girls are always seeing glamour models or gorgeous people on the street but remember you are3 always as beautiful as them. they are only doing it for attention. you are just beautiful as you are!!!
helped me so hope it helps you!!
good luck
You are only ugly if you think you are.
Anonymous
recently, i've started to become really VERY self aware & concious.
don't get me wrong, i don't think i'm hideously ugly but neither am i beautiful.
this has really been getting me down - i'm always thinking to myself that i am ugly. this may sound stupid also - but when i am at work/shopping etc & nobody makes eye contact with me, i feel they don't because i am ugly. i know i'm probably not but deep down inside, i feel like my nose is too big or that my face is fat or my eyes are different or that my thighs are fat etc.
i feel that i have to have recognition from others to make myself feel good ie. if people tell me i look pretty, i'll feel okay. but if they don't, i feel very very ugly & insecure.
i feel like if someone does make eye contact with me/look at me, its only because they saw me from far away but when they see me face to face, they must think i'm ugly.
seeing pretty girls getting lots of attention also makes me wish i was more like them. and i feel that even when i make an effort, eg wear more make up, i get nowhere or nothing from it.
its silly to get upset about it, i know but its getting me down quite a lot nowadays.
has anyone got any advice for me/anyone ever felt the same?
don't get me wrong, i don't think i'm hideously ugly but neither am i beautiful.
this has really been getting me down - i'm always thinking to myself that i am ugly. this may sound stupid also - but when i am at work/shopping etc & nobody makes eye contact with me, i feel they don't because i am ugly. i know i'm probably not but deep down inside, i feel like my nose is too big or that my face is fat or my eyes are different or that my thighs are fat etc.
i feel that i have to have recognition from others to make myself feel good ie. if people tell me i look pretty, i'll feel okay. but if they don't, i feel very very ugly & insecure.
i feel like if someone does make eye contact with me/look at me, its only because they saw me from far away but when they see me face to face, they must think i'm ugly.
seeing pretty girls getting lots of attention also makes me wish i was more like them. and i feel that even when i make an effort, eg wear more make up, i get nowhere or nothing from it.
its silly to get upset about it, i know but its getting me down quite a lot nowadays.
has anyone got any advice for me/anyone ever felt the same?
You may be a little too obssessed with ur looks, regardless of how attractive you think you are. If ur always gna be depressed, it will show in ur appearance. Remain confident and cheerful and always have a positive attitude towards life.
yeah, like Sithius said, build confidence. don't take no **** from no-one. you dont need to care what others think about you. don't go around looking to get compliments. screw them. just have fun and enjoy life. and when others recognise this attitude, the compliments will start pouring in.
Totally agree with Pratakiv. The media today tells every woman that they need to be stick thin, have the perfect tan, have long hair, have short hair, wear makeup but not too much... I mean it's ridiculous. You only need to pick up something like Heat magazine (god knows I love it, but sometimes it's just stupid) two weeks in a row to see that the same person they were praising last week for looking amazing, they're not slagging off for daring to look slightly ordinary.
You can't live your life expecting to compete with what the magazines tell you. Bear in mind that the majority of the images in such magazines are highly edited and that the people posing have hordes of make up and clothing advisors... if they were left to their own devices, well, they'd probably be in the 'what were you thinking' page of Heat.
The key to confidence is to believe in yourself, cheesy as that sounds. You've got what you've got, whether it be the size of your nose/feet/boobs. Unless you're willing to go through massively painful and expensive surgery, those are the same features you'll have for the rest of your life. You just have to see that they are what make you who you are, be proud of them
if everyone looked alike, hell it'd be well boring wouldn't it? lol you'd go down the high street and see stacks of Barbies and Kens everywhere. (evidently, they've discovered that if there was a real girl with Barbie's proportions, she'd fall over and not be able to actually get up again).
If you're unhappy with your weight, then you can do something about it - having a sensible diet and exercising can help you lose weight. If you're unhappy about your wardrobe, then go through it. Give to the charity shop anything you think doesn't suit you any more and go shopping for new goodies same with your make up. Change the things you can for the better, accept the things that you can't, and ultimately, not give a crap about what some random stranger in a bar things of you.
One last thing before I send this essay-esque post . Your body language shows how confident you are too. Give the impression you're happy about yourself, stand up straight and smile at people. Have you considered that maybe people aren't making eye contact because *you're* looking elsewhere? Next time someone pays you a compliment, smile and say "thank you".
You'll be ok
You can't live your life expecting to compete with what the magazines tell you. Bear in mind that the majority of the images in such magazines are highly edited and that the people posing have hordes of make up and clothing advisors... if they were left to their own devices, well, they'd probably be in the 'what were you thinking' page of Heat.
The key to confidence is to believe in yourself, cheesy as that sounds. You've got what you've got, whether it be the size of your nose/feet/boobs. Unless you're willing to go through massively painful and expensive surgery, those are the same features you'll have for the rest of your life. You just have to see that they are what make you who you are, be proud of them
if everyone looked alike, hell it'd be well boring wouldn't it? lol you'd go down the high street and see stacks of Barbies and Kens everywhere. (evidently, they've discovered that if there was a real girl with Barbie's proportions, she'd fall over and not be able to actually get up again).If you're unhappy with your weight, then you can do something about it - having a sensible diet and exercising can help you lose weight. If you're unhappy about your wardrobe, then go through it. Give to the charity shop anything you think doesn't suit you any more and go shopping for new goodies
same with your make up. Change the things you can for the better, accept the things that you can't, and ultimately, not give a crap about what some random stranger in a bar things of you. One last thing before I send this essay-esque post . Your body language shows how confident you are too. Give the impression you're happy about yourself, stand up straight and smile at people. Have you considered that maybe people aren't making eye contact because *you're* looking elsewhere? Next time someone pays you a compliment, smile and say "thank you".
You'll be ok
red665
they've discovered that if there was a real girl with Barbie's proportions, she'd fall over and not be able to actually get up again.
LOL!
thankyou for all your replies everybody, they made me feel a lot better.
i think i need to start loving what i have, rather than yearning for what i've not got.
i think i need to start loving what i have, rather than yearning for what i've not got.
Realise Life is just big dream. And it doesn't matter.
That helped me a lot throughout the years.
That helped me a lot throughout the years.
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