Depressed and Miserable - PLEASE PLEASE HELP.

You're not the only one, I feel similar things (well certainly the lonliness). Those guys who say "you're not fit" seem to be a little shallow...

If you want to talk about it privately do feel free to drop me a PM or something :smile:

Reply 4

Don't worry if you haven't found your guy yet... I know it's different cos I'm three years your junior, but I've also always been single. It can get terribly lonely at times I'll agree, but you can't lose hope! I also get annoyed with the other couples around me, and people telling me about their perfect partner who they're so glad to be with...
I personally wouldn't trust the opinion of people who have said you are "not fit", since their opinion is likely to be based on looks, and the fact that any girl not in the sack after one cider and black is frigid...
Bullying and ridicule can be really upsetting, and come back to haunt you, but the most common reason people bully others is because they are unhappy with their own lives. Try and forget them, they aren't worth any more of your time.
If you're find the right guy, he won't care that you're "not fit" as it was so eloquently put. The thing is, personality ranks way above looks, at least in my opinion. And when you find your guy, he'll love you for who you are. Just try and go out, hold your head up high. Give off an air of confidence, not arrogance. Go on the offensive, and approach guys.

I hope you feel better soon, Honey.

:hugs:

Reply 5

Fenella

As has been said attractiveness is a matter of opinion. And despite what people say, in the real world only the very shallow (or very young) go for just looks. You're only 20 so you have plenty of time to find someone. It'll happen when you least expect it. Don't let it get you down hun! :smile:

Reply 6

Fenella

As has been said attractiveness is a matter of opinion. And despite what people say, in the real world only the very shallow (or very young) go for just looks.

Or to put it another way, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Fenella

It'll happen when you least expect it.

Hasnt been the case for me but I guess everyone's experiences will vary to some extent.

I also agree with what The_Mudman said: being proactive and not giving up is the key.

Reply 7

It really makes a big difference. Before, I used to be afraid of girls, cowered in the corner, would barely talk, even to my friends. Then when you get out there you get to meet so many new, and interesting people! Also, if you appear more confident, people will be more likely to approach you. The thing is, if you smile, or people see you having a laugh with friends, it instantly makes you appear more attractive than an unhappy looking person.

Reply 8

The Mudman

Also, if you appear more confident, people will be more likely to approach you. The thing is, if you smile, or people see you having a laugh with friends, it instantly makes you appear more attractive than an unhappy looking person.

Although shy people can be attractive for some :wink:

Reply 9

Well, obviously don't be outrageously loud or anything. I just mean look like a positive person, who's enjoying themselves, not someone who'd rather be at home playing CS or reading Principles of Organic Chemistry. Not that I've ever done that.... *looks around nervously*

Reply 10

Cunning Linguist

3

sr4470

Or to put it another way, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder! hehe

Reply 11

WaW™

3

Anonymous

I'm 20 and currently at uni. I have been single ALL my life. As I look around myself, I see my friends pairing up; in September one of me best mates met up with an incredible guy...being my best friend she often tells me the lovely stuff he says to her. I always respond by telling her how happy I am for her. Inside, however, I feel terrible because it simply makes me recall my situation. I have been told by a number of guys that although I have a nice personality, I am 'not fit'. I was often the object of ridicule whilst in school. I feel terrible; I've managed to keep myself busy with work...but sometimes it comes flooding back and I feel like the smallest person on Earth.

who are they to judge you on looks? :mad:

you are probably a great person and just because you have not paired up with someone does not mean it is the end of the world. i mean you are only 20 for gawds sake. you will find that very special someone and it will be great. for the moment do not get depressed and try to enjoy life to the fullest and your thing bout feeling the smallest person everybody goes through these patches it is called life. for now just make do with this :hugs:

Reply 12

The Mudman

Well, obviously don't be outrageously loud or anything. I just mean look like a positive person, who's enjoying themselves, not someone who'd rather be at home playing CS or reading Principles of Organic Chemistry. Not that I've ever done that.... *looks around nervously*

Hehe...relax, girls can be nerds\geeks too...just not as many around. :wink:

I build PCs, and although a few people think its "stupid" most actually respect me for having this ability and are grateful when I help them with theirs. As for gaming, I do virtually none now (work\looking for work takes priority) and I'm done with science (studying to A-level is enough). Just dont become an "anti-social-glued-to-the-screen-thing" and you'll be fine... :smile:

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linguist786

beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder! hehe

You'd be suprised what drunk people will mistake for a girl\guy. Before I came in earlier tonight I saw a guy hugging a lamppost... :rolleyes:

Reply 13

graveyarddreams

13

i like to think that loneliness has its rewards...

btw, i feel like that all the time.

Reply 14

sr4470

Hehe...relax, girls can be nerds\geeks too...just not as many around. :wink:

I build PCs, and although a few people think its "stupid" most actually respect me for having this ability and are grateful when I help them with theirs. As for gaming, I do virtually none now (work\looking for work takes priority) and I'm done with science (studying to A-level is enough). Just dont become an "anti-social-glued-to-the-screen-thing" and you'll be fine... :smile:

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You'd be suprised what drunk people will mistake for a girl\guy. Before I came in earlier tonight I saw a guy hugging a lamppost... :rolleyes:

Not to get too graphic, but you can tell exactly how geeky I am (not that the last post didn't give you a clue) by my turn-ons. Glasses, lab-coats and being able to formulate sweet-talk :biggrin:

I just resent going out and being surrounded by idiots. Slack-jawed inbreds, chavs, and hordes of underage drinkers "Can I have four pints please, mister?" "Of what?" "Umm.... Uhh... *sweating*.... RUN!!"

You seem a really cool person (quite a compliment coming from someone like me... lol) Intelligent, able to handle a computer, and at least know what CS stands for. I'm just hoping you're a girl, so I can believe in the dream! :smile:

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Cheer up GD. You've got us :hugs:

Reply 15

Eien

16

I know your pain... I have never attracted any girl or had any form of relationship while all my friends seem to date with ease, but now, I can still be positive. You know why? Because the person's whose opinion of you matters most is you. If you can be positive with your own strengths, and realise that others' opinions don't change who you are, loneliness will feel easier. Of course the pain will always be there at times, sometimes very often. You seem the type that will lead a fruitful and amazing relationship when it comes, rather than one based on attraction, followed by arguments and split-ups two or three years down the line.

Reply 16

Dragonshorts

1

Hehe...relax, girls can be nerds\geeks too...just not as many around. :wink:

I build PCs, and although a few people think its "stupid" most actually respect me for having this ability and are grateful when I help them with theirs. As for gaming, I do virtually none now (work\looking for work takes priority) and I'm done with science (studying to A-level is enough). Just dont become an "anti social-glued-to-the-screen-thing" and you'll be fine... :smile:

Its true about girls being geeks.. Ive been told that while I don't look like one, I act like one, whatever that is supposed to mean... Also true about people finding different things attractive. I heard a radio show once where the woman claimed that a girl would pick the guy with the sports car over the guy who builds telescopes everytime. Personally I would be dead impressed if a guy could build his own telescope! (though I have yet to meet one who can :biggrin:

)

Reply 17