The Student Room Group

Depression- please help

I've got a history of depression and I thought I was over it but things have started to get seriously bad again. I don't like anti-depressants and I can't open up in therapy, so it's hopeless. I wanted to go to the doctors again this xmas but was scared of the consequences so held off.

I'm going back to uni on Sunday and I'm seriously unsure I'm going to get back home at Easter without at least attempting suicide. I've become so lonely (at home and at uni, despite being one of the most popular people in both places) that I have an imaginary friend and we keep having huge arguments, I'm trying not to listen but tonight I've been crying when he screams at me.

I know I must sound insane, I'm really not, but I don't think I have depression, I swear its beyond that. This is as honest as I've ever been, I just don't know what to do. What would anyone do in my position? I know it's out of control and probably no one wants to give advice, but I don't know what to do.
Reply 1
Go to the doctor again; none of us are really qualified to tell you what to do, or give proper advice. However, you have to tell them all your symptoms. This includes your imaginary friend. In the meantime, tell your parents or friends how you are feeling and maybe they can help (yeah i know this advice is cliched, but maybe having some support will help you).
Reply 2
Go to your doctor. Please go to the doctor. I've been in your position, you can be helped. Get over not liking anti depressants, you may well need them. If you were a diabetic, you'd take your insulin. Sorry to be harsh, but deal with it- you have an illness, you need treatment. Go. And best of luck.
Reply 3
If you have imaginary friends, you need to see a doctor. Thats not part of depression.

Depression can have serious consequences. I'm going through a really hard time myself at the moment and I'm biting my lip hoping to get on with life without the breakdown, and without the drama.
You need to get out and enjoy yourself. Do what you feel is comfortable, and do something that is really enjoyable to you.

You know I'm useless at giving advice because I feel your pain. And if truth be told, I haven't the faintest idea what to do myself. You just have to get through and really be strong. You'll come out on the other side laughing. Prove people wrong.
Reply 4
Anonymous
What would anyone do in my position?

Well my imaginary friend is much more mean, she is actually having an affair with another ... :frown:
Reply 5
Dekota
Well my imaginary friend is much more mean, she is actually having an affair with another ... :frown:


There is some people who need real advice.
Reply 6
It sounds like you've started experiencing mood congruent auditory hallucinations which in fact is a recongised feature of severe depression. So this isn't something you can "fight" on your own. You need to see your doctor and it is likely you'll need medication. If you had severe asthma or brittle diabetes will you suffer in silence? This is no different.

Please, please, please - go see your doctor asap.
Reply 7
Anonymous
I've got a history of depression and I thought I was over it but things have started to get seriously bad again. I don't like anti-depressants and I can't open up in therapy, so it's hopeless. I wanted to go to the doctors again this xmas but was scared of the consequences so held off.

I'm going back to uni on Sunday and I'm seriously unsure I'm going to get back home at Easter without at least attempting suicide. I've become so lonely (at home and at uni, despite being one of the most popular people in both places) that I have an imaginary friend and we keep having huge arguments, I'm trying not to listen but tonight I've been crying when he screams at me.

I know I must sound insane, I'm really not, but I don't think I have depression, I swear its beyond that. This is as honest as I've ever been, I just don't know what to do. What would anyone do in my position? I know it's out of control and probably no one wants to give advice, but I don't know what to do.


im sorry. But I have Bi Polar 2, so I know what it feels like.

I have no sympathy for people like you that wont take Anti depressants becuase you "dont like them" get a grip. They fix the chemical inbalences in your brain. Try them.
Reply 8
Anonymous
I have no sympathy for people like you that wont take Anti depressants becuase you "dont like them" get a grip. They fix the chemical inbalences in your brain. Try them.

Come on, they simply 'don't like them' due to there side-effects. Anti-depressants are a good example of severe side-effects.
Reply 9
Dekota
Come on, they simply 'don't like them' due to there side-effects. Anti-depressants are a good example of severe side-effects.
um there are different dosages and different medicatiosn to take, if one isnt working they can be easily changed. Side effects like nausea clear up within 2 weeks and if they are concerned with gettign fat, isnt it a small price to pay for being healthy in mind. Mine actually had the reverse effect on my body. So you never know whats happening.
Reply 10
Anonymous
I've got a history of depression and I thought I was over it but things have started to get seriously bad again. I don't like anti-depressants and I can't open up in therapy, so it's hopeless. I wanted to go to the doctors again this xmas but was scared of the consequences so held off.

I'm going back to uni on Sunday and I'm seriously unsure I'm going to get back home at Easter without at least attempting suicide. I've become so lonely (at home and at uni, despite being one of the most popular people in both places) that I have an imaginary friend and we keep having huge arguments, I'm trying not to listen but tonight I've been crying when he screams at me.

I know I must sound insane, I'm really not, but I don't think I have depression, I swear its beyond that. This is as honest as I've ever been, I just don't know what to do. What would anyone do in my position? I know it's out of control and probably no one wants to give advice, but I don't know what to do.


:hugs:
Please, PLEASE go to your doctor. You say yourself that you're speaking honestly, and you are clearly aware that this is a problem and recognise that it has become 'out of control'.

When was the last time you went to your doctor - are your family aware of how you are, and/or the exent of your feelings? Do you feel there is anyone you could talk to, or at least someone who you could ask to go with you to the doctors? (You don't have to say why or mention explicit details...if you mention that you're feeling unwell, they will understand).

You mention suicide - I don't think you want to die, but you just want how you are feeling to stop....you clearly want help over this, but couldn't face up to visiting your doctors! If you visit your doctors, they can take you through the various options. May I ask, why do you not like antidepressants? What type of therapy have you had before There are many different types of therapy - and different reasons for it not working. Explaining to your doctor why you didn't benefit from therapy before - you mention not being able to open up to people - will help you and your doctor to find other options. Also, if you find it difficult to open up to someone face to face, maybe call a helpline like The Samaritans? Check the Sticky thread at the top of the H&R forum for numbers of organisations....

Please feel free PM me if you want someone to talk to - whatever you may think, there IS help and support available for you. I know it feels rotten when feeling so alone, and I know you can't go on feeling how you do but I promise you things will get better if you get help over this.... :hugs:
Reply 11
Anti-depressants are bits of ****, my dad is addicted to them.


so is mine has been for roughly 20 years but since then medical science has come a long way and doctors now kno that they can be addictive

however in your case they would be helpful they are a quick way of making u feel A LOT better, so why not try it if it will help

I wanted to go to the doctors again this xmas but was scared of the consequences so held off.


surely seeing a doctor is better than carrying on like you are. this obv. isnt going to go on its own

definately see your doctor, and tell them everything. if u find it hard opening in therapy, try another therapist! they are not clones and they have different approaches ask your doctor which you think would be suitable for you

opening up is hard but just try it u might be surprised it sounds like your family and friends dont really kno what your going through try talking to them, but often a stranger is easier so therapy

lastly DONT be ashamed of what your going through, this can prevent you from being helped
Reply 12
Like everyone else i advise you to go see a doctor. I know it might be hard at the beginning, I personally hate doctors! but this is the best thing to do. Im not qualified to give you the best advice but im just asking you to please go to the doctor.
Im sure that everything will turn out fine.
let us know. XXX
Reply 13
Please go and see you doctor - if you really want to get help "not liking" your GP shouldn't stop you.

Depression is an illness where certain chemicals in the brain become unbalanced and produce a series of symptoms - sometimes the chemical imbalance has a physical cause (an example would be a condition such as an under active thyroid), or sometimes certain situations such as bereavement or a prolonged period of stress can cause the imbalance.
Do you know what the trigger might have been? If not - please don't fret - one of the problems with depression is that we often don't know what the cause is - and the not knowing can be one of the scariest aspects of the depression - we feel terrible but don't know why.

The symptoms of depression include sadness, difficulty with making decisions, muddled thoughts, difficulty in getting going, insomnia, hopelessness, low self esteem, guilt, shame, difficulty with concentrating, loss of appetite or overeating, anxiety, fear, suicidal thoughts, loss of interest in normal activities, feelings of worthlessness, uselessness and lack of confidence.
They say that anyone who experiences more than one or two of these symptoms (above) on a consistent basis should seek help from a doctor.

If you had a broken leg you would probably be given a wheel chair or pair of crutches. If the crutches were an 'inconvenience' to your lifestyle you wouldn't throw them away and drag your leg behind you. If your friends saw you struggling they would put you in a car and take you to the hospital. Antidepressant's are like your medical crutch they get the heaviness of the depression under control once that happens you can begin the 'healing' process.

You need support. Find someone you can really trust and who preferably has a knowledge of depression. They may not be able to support you completely but they might be able to come to the doctors with you. Do not feel guilty about what you are going through - you need help and attention and you need it now.

You've already made the first step back to full health. You have confided in TSR. we cant offer 'professional' help and advice but we can listen. Know always that we are here for you if you need to talk. If you have anything you want to say/ask please do not hesitate.

Laura x