Please go and see you doctor - if you really want to get help "not liking" your GP shouldn't stop you.
Depression is an illness where certain chemicals in the brain become unbalanced and produce a series of symptoms - sometimes the chemical imbalance has a physical cause (an example would be a condition such as an under active thyroid), or sometimes certain situations such as bereavement or a prolonged period of stress can cause the imbalance.
Do you know what the trigger might have been? If not - please don't fret - one of the problems with depression is that we often don't know what the cause is - and the not knowing can be one of the scariest aspects of the depression - we feel terrible but don't know why.
The symptoms of depression include sadness, difficulty with making decisions, muddled thoughts, difficulty in getting going, insomnia, hopelessness, low self esteem, guilt, shame, difficulty with concentrating, loss of appetite or overeating, anxiety, fear, suicidal thoughts, loss of interest in normal activities, feelings of worthlessness, uselessness and lack of confidence.
They say that anyone who experiences more than one or two of these symptoms (above) on a consistent basis should seek help from a doctor.
If you had a broken leg you would probably be given a wheel chair or pair of crutches. If the crutches were an 'inconvenience' to your lifestyle you wouldn't throw them away and drag your leg behind you. If your friends saw you struggling they would put you in a car and take you to the hospital. Antidepressant's are like your medical crutch – they get the heaviness of the depression under control – once that happens you can begin the 'healing' process.
You need support. Find someone you can really trust and who preferably has a knowledge of depression. They may not be able to support you completely but they might be able to come to the doctors with you. Do not feel guilty about what you are going through - you need help and attention and you need it now.
You've already made the first step back to full health. You have confided in TSR. – we cant offer 'professional' help and advice but we can listen. Know always that we are here for you if you need to talk. If you have anything you want to say/ask please do not hesitate.
Laura x