The Student Room Group

In Love But Not With The Ideal Women

every person has there ideal man/woman right? in my case i have fallen in love with someone who is not quite the ideal but i just cannot help the way i feel about them. she is just so amazing in every sense she is beatiful, caring, funny, clever etc etc.

but there is this other girl who is a GREAT mate and she has all the ideal qualities yet i do not love her in that way. i feel a lot for her but it is more brotherly love more than anything. and the other girl WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I AM IN LOVE WITH HER! GOD I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER.

neway no i am not going out with the one i am in love with and my other friend knows everthing.

what i am trying to say is that is your ideal women not the one yo fall in love with? i dunno its badly phrased but i think some of you might just know what i am talking about.
Reply 1
I know what you mean. You don't always fall for the person you should. It sucks.
Reply 2
Yeah, I have this problem. There is this one guy I like who is just a complete prick but I feel I am really falling for him. He isn't very good-looking, funny, charming or anything like that but there is just something about him that makes me want to be around him. Whereas I can see other people are far more desirable but they just don't do it for me...

Strange... :confused:
Reply 3
Mortimer
every person has there ideal man/woman right? in my case i have fallen in love with someone who is not quite the ideal but i just cannot help the way i feel about them. she is just so amazing in every sense she is beatiful, caring, funny, clever etc etc.

but there is this other girl who is a GREAT mate and she has all the ideal qualities yet i do not love her in that way. i feel a lot for her but it is more brotherly love more than anything. and the other girl WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I AM IN LOVE WITH HER! GOD I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER.

neway no i am not going out with the one i am in love with and my other friend knows everthing.

what i am trying to say is that is your ideal women not the one yo fall in love with? i dunno its badly phrased but i think some of you might just know what i am talking about.



what do you mean 'not the ideal person'

what is the ideal person?

nobody can ever match up to the 'ideals'

also you can't help who you fall in love with... inc un ideal people otherwise theres wouldnt be so many people hurt after break ups!
Reply 4
It doesn't suck. You suck. You make me doubt how much you "love" her, if you are judging her. It doesn't matter if she is not 'ideal', nothing ever is in reality. But, hey; she's "beautiful, caring, funny, clever..."; what the hell were you after?

Sounds pretty ideal to me. Go get her back.
Reply 5
"What matters is not that we be perfect, but 'perfect' for each other."
Reply 6
Mortimer
WORDS CANNOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I AM IN LOVE WITH HER! GOD I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HER.


That is not love.
You have fallen in lust with her.

In a year, you will feel very differently, especially if you have had sex with her often enough.
If everyone only loved 'ideal' people, there would be a lot of people who were never loved. Are you ideal?
Reply 8
Anonymous
That is not love.
You have fallen in lust with her.

In a year, you will feel very differently, especially if you have had sex with her often enough.


maye you are right but it is not sex. i mean i find her attractive but the amount of care i have for her is scary. i feel as if i could do anything for her.

if this is not love what is love? :confused:
Reply 9
Mortimer
maye you are right but it is not sex. i mean i find her attractive but the amount of care i have for her is scary. i feel as if i could do anything for her.

if this is not love what is love? :confused:


its what you get if u pass on chainmails, or so they claim. i am dubious.
Anonymous
That is not love.
You have fallen in lust with her.

In a year, you will feel very differently, especially if you have had sex with her often enough.


Some people can be so narrow minded :rolleyes:
Reply 11
Duck and Cover
Some people can be so narrow minded :rolleyes:


thank you! :beer: :biggrin: :five: :top:
Reply 12
Haha. I'm not going out with anybody at the moment but I've always pondered on the idea of falling in love with someone who you know is not ideal. Life's a bitch!
I'm with El Scotto on this one - why is she not ideal?

Because it depends. Is she not ideal because she's married/an axe murderer or do you just mean she's not the type of girl you thought you'd end up with? Like you always thought you'd end up with an Amazonian blonde but she's a 5ft brunette?

If that's the case I wouldn't worry about it, if anything being with her should make you re-evaluate what was so important about your "ideal" anyway.
Reply 14
when i say not ideal i meant that i never pictured i would fall in love with someone like this i am not saying that she is a bad prson blah blah blah but i never imagined i would fall for someone who so different to what i expected. and you are right on the re-evaluate part, now i think she is abaoultley amazing and i want to spend the rest of my life with her.
Reply 15
If you've truly fallen in love with them it wouldn't matter if they weren't what you expected.
Reply 16
My current boyfriend is a long long way from what I would have put down on paper as my 'ideal' man :P He's a lot older than me with a lot of baggage, physically I wouldn't have picked him out of a crowd on first impressions, he smokes, he has tattoos, and I could go on :wink: However, he's the kindest, warmest, most amazing man I could have wished for, he makes me happier than anyone has ever made me before, he treats me so well and really makes me feel loved. I honestly wouldn't change a thing about him. Nothing else matters. You can't choose who you fall in love with and often superficial 'ideals' are more of a barrier than a guide in finding your truly perfect partner.