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Do you think that you ever really stop loving your first love

Reply 40

I think whether or not you see the person anymore makes a big difference. It's easier to forget about things to a certain extent when you're not constantly reminded of them

Reply 41

pikaboo

13

Anonymous

Your first love tends to be during a time when you're growing up and finding your way in life. If you share that experience with somebody then there will always be a very deep attachment. They ultimately help and support you through the growing up process (usually the teenage years) and i think that is the time you're most impressionable. Everyone is a product of their surroundings and experiences but if you've been that close to a person then i think they help to mould you and it's almost as if you grow together. Therefore a part of you will always be linked to them and that is why i believe you can never stop loving your first love to some extent. There will always be those shared experiences that have contributed to who you are today and parts of you and your personality, or even just your outlook on life that you can attribute directly to them.

That view on it could just be me though.

That's a really insightful view of it, and I think I agree. If friends are a big influence too then so would be your first love, if not more so because more complex feelings are involved. Maybe the love will fade over time but I reckon the memories remain particularly poignant.

Reply 42

Ilovepuremaths

I think whether or not you see the person anymore makes a big difference. It's easier to forget about things to a certain extent when you're not constantly reminded of them

True. But with your first love it’s the first time you feel all those emotions – the intensity is probably at a maximum as there is that fear of the unknown combined with everything being fresh and exciting. Simply by it being the ‘first’ means that it will always be memorable and significant in your life whether or not you still see that person. I mean for many it can be the person you have your first meaningful kiss with, the first person you have sex with, the first person you completely open yourself up to, the first person you start depending on – it goes on

All that has to count for a lot and for me personally is one of the reasons I will always feel something for my first love.

I’m not saying that other loves can’t be as good or better but something is lost in the first time of everything.

Reply 43

Ziggy Stardust

Probably depends on how you broke up with them.

If it was particularly nasty then you'll probably stop loving them sooner rather than later!

Reply 44

pumpkin7

13

i love my first love more than anything in this world. i'll never lose that bond between us, even if we aren't together forever.

Reply 45

Apricot Fairy

16

grace

weren't you still kind of seeing him recently though? the kind of stuff you were saying made it sound as though the two of you hadn't quite 'ended' completely, so maybe that makes it easier for you to still love him?

We're still both single at the moment, and when we're both at home we go on what most people would call dates and always share a goodnight kiss. He's coming to visit me at uni next month as well. So, you're kind of right. But we're not together, now or in the foreseeable future and I'm definitely over the first relationship we had. But it might happen again in a few years' time. There's no reason why it shouldn't if we were both in the right situation at the right time. But if it doesn't, we'll go to each other's weddings one day and be happy for each other, I expect. :smile:

Reply 46

Angel Interceptor

11

Anonymous

even years later? sometimes I just get a twinge in the back of mind, even though its been over for years, plus i've been with plenty of peoples since!

I still love my first love, but I'm not sure if that's because we're still amazing friends or because deep down I still have feelings for her. Maybe it's a combination of the two, but I'm sure that there's still a mark on my heart with her name on it. Hope this helps. :smile:

Reply 47

Phonicsdude

19

I dont love my first love.

Reply 48

hippychick4eva

think you can... in a way... i still love him in a weird way... not anything like i used to ... but just in a friends kind of way... ill always probably think pretty highly of him even if he changed alot and did things that annoyed me..

Though to be honest... im in a relationship now where my first love seems so insignificant... ive never felt so in love as i do now in my life :smile:

Reply 49

Wanderlust

1

I don't have a first love. I'm celebrating my 18th year of being single soon, and my friends are really irritating the situation. :confused:

Reply 50

_poptart_

2

I think it doesnt matter whether its your first love or not, if you spent a part of your life in love with someone its hard to forget that! but I think the type of love you feel for them obviously changes. I guess I'll have to wait until I fall in love again (if I ever do :s:

) and see if your feelings change.

Reply 51

frank01277779

1

I definitely agree with what somebody said about your 1st love shapes how you want to be loved/ how you want a relationship to be...

I was thinking about this the other day, have copy+pasted what i wrote in a blog on my myspace page, apologies for it being quite long.

"Last night I had a dream about one of my ex-gf's, well it wasn't so much a dream about her, but she was in it. Nothing much happened in the dream, except that it was fairly obvious we were both still attracted to each other...

I mean, I don't even know why she would be in a dream, its over 2 years since we split up and since I've seen her, hmm...But the main thing is I've kinda been thinking about her a bit today, and how things were when we went out.

I think that because she was my first serious girlfriend, and I was her first serious boyfriend (meaning a lot of "firsts" in the relationship) it was just more innocent, and less serious, and fun, and happy most of the time I think, or maybe it is because she was my first serious gf that I see it as being better than it actually was, I'm not sure really...

Has made me feel kinda lonely today, well along with xmas having just passed and it being New Year tomorrow, I guess I wanna share things like that with someone else...

Part of me thinks that me and her could get back together, and the good bits would still be good and because we're older and more mature now that the bad bits wouldn't be there, or they'd be different; and I'm thinking about it because in my head her, and the relationship were better than in reality. Wonder if anyone else thinks about exes or especially their first serious relationship in a different way because it was the first..."

Reply 52

silence

16

barbie

nope.

i know i won't.

neither

Reply 53

_poptart_

2

I know exactly what you mean, for some unknown reason i sometimes think about someone who I used to go out with last year, and although we had loads and loads of arguments and I didnt think he was that special.. looking back I think if I'd made more of an effort it could have turned out differently!
I know what you mean about Christmas and New Year making you feel lonely... maybe thats why Ive spent half this christmas period just thinking about past new years spent being in a relationship and how lonely it can be when you're single :redface:

Reply 54

bewithoutyou

I'm not in love with my first love any more, but I love him and always will. It's a different, softer feeling, but he was a huge part of my life, I have such wonderful memories of the good times, and that'll never go away. I'm 'over' him - I was the one that ended it. I am very happy with my current boyfriend who is so much better for the person I am now than my first love was. But it is strange how the tiniest thing (a smell, a song, a random memory) just gives me a little pang for him. Not wanting him back, just a little pang. He's caught up with memories of being happy and young and carefree and I think many first loves remind us of that idyllic kind of time.

Reply 55

pixiepeep

13

My first "love" (not even sure it was now) nearly killed me, and I don't intend to ever speak to him again. No killed as in literally, but the person who I was when I met him doesn't exist anymore. He slowly broke me down to a mess, and ruined last year completely for me. We were together a year and a half and he was my first proper relationship. He still makes me feel really small and I wish I'd never met him :frown:

But while I say I'm happily over him, he is the one person on this planet who can pee me off more than anyone else, so there's obviously still something in my system about him.

Reply 56

Wanderlust

1

pixiepeep

My first "love" (not even sure it was now) nearly killed me, and I don't intend to ever speak to him again. No killed as in literally, but the person who I was when I met him doesn't exist anymore. He slowly broke me down to a mess, and ruined last year completely for me. We were together a year and a half and he was my first proper relationship. He still makes me feel really small and I wish I'd never met him :frown:

But while I say I'm happily over him, he is the one person on this planet who can pee me off more than anyone else, so there's obviously still something in my system about him.

I have that too. Except the person was female. And they weren't my lover. :frown:

Reply 57

wednesburywench

2

it takes a long time but you will meet sum1 better in the long run! it took me months to get over my first proper boyfriend, but then i met my current boyfriend of 3 n half years, and realised i didnt really love the first guy, i was too young for that! If i was to split up with my boyfriend now tho, i dont think i would ever get over him, in the sense that I will never forget him, and would always think highly of him. So im not sure of that, i spose it depends on the individual, but theres a lot of history with a long relationship, its the friendship aswell as everything else, and when you fall out with friends/boyfriends/girlfriends you are always going to miss the company of what was a great friend.

Reply 58

Walker

1

Nope, i know i wont. Especially when you are both so close.

Reply 59

mtbab

17

my first love wasnt my first gf and yeh i still care about my first love, but not about my first gf lol

Do you think that you ever really stop loving your first love

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